Should I break ties with my boyfriend ?

[thefirehasbegun]

Hello,

I've NC as I'm so embarrassed that I've allowed this "relationship" to continue.

My boyfriend and I broke up 7 months ago but. A couple of weeks ago, we decided to make another go of things and try again.

Now yesterday, boyfriend is persuading me to come and see him. I told him that I don't want to as I wanted to do things for myself on my day off ( go to a facial- just do something nice for myself). I'm a full time student and I work, and today is my day off. I generally like to catch up to the things I couldn't do during the week, have a bit of me time etc. Is that wrong ? Boyfriend then complains and says "you never make time for me", starts acting stroppy. Bearing in mind that he lives two hours away and going to his is like a day trip- meaning that I cannot get much stuff done on my day off. He also lost his job, no income, debts and is not at the best place at the moment.

Anyway, I relented and agreed to see him. Now, I met up at his, we watched a movie and had sex. We stopped and I wanted to be done with sex as we have been at it for an hour- and you know I want to spend a bit of time with my boyfriend, talking, catching up with our day etc. Boyfriend complains, saying why, he wants to continue and that I'm always doing this. I just thought "oh no, not this again" and I tell him that I better "go". I get my stuff ready and his in the background saying that he wanted to carry on, that I'm always doing this. I'm getting upset and when I grab my bag from one is his rooms, I noticed a females 16 plus Oyster card. I went to him and confronted him and he said "don't be ridiculous, look at this age, I would never go with a 16 year old".

At this point, I've had enough and tell him that I want to go. So he gets up, opens his door, throws my shoes out of his flat and tells me "Go then ! Go !" And slams the door. I just went.

I was literally crying on the way back from the train. He starts calling me, which I obviously ignore. Then texts me to tell me that I've forgot a few things. I told him to "keep them" and I blocked him.

What I want to know is... from this point, what should I do ? Is this petty and I'm just making a big deal out of it ?

Keep running, he sounds like a total fuckwit.

Short answer. Today is your lucky day. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Never see this whiny, demanding sex pest again.
You’ve been handed an out. Take it.

Jesus Christ don’t speak to him ever again!

Does he really sound that bad ?

Yes he's that bad. Why couldn't he come see you when he's the one who is jobless and it was your only day off?

It sounds like he wanted you to go up there for sex and he wasn't respecting your boundaries.

Well done for blocking up, please don't go back.

He sounds like a horrible person. Tbh he insisted you come over so that he could have sex, not to see you. It doesn’t sound like he is very kind or thoughtful or cares much about being a friend to you at all.
Run and don’t look back, he won’t make you happy.

Is it petty that you think he's had a 16 yr old girl there?

He sounds boring and like a loser, and if he's chasing teenagers then he's pretty vile.

Dump him and go on with your life. You can do far better.

I just feel cheap.

Nope, just rubbish taste in men. Dump the bugger and raise the bar for the next one.

Yes he really sounds that bad. He sounds bloody awful.

He sounds like a nightmare! Definitely don't go back.

He sounds awful, and you deserve better.

Stop doing all the running for a man who can’t even be bothered to speak to you when you have sacrificed your day off, and travelled 2 hrs.

And yes, that travel card seems extremely dodgy to me. Please don’t sit around hoping for a reasonable explanation (or more likely, a thin excuse!)... act like you value yourself more highly, and you will slowly start valuing yourself better in reality. Which is kinda important!

You are not cheap. You simply gave him another chance, and now you know for certain he's not even worth the travel time. Yep, he just wanted you there for sex. You are worth far more.

is he looking for another job or expecting you to pay for everything.

Enjoy the rest of your great life. Just not with him.

You deserve better. It was technically a booty call and he couldn't even be arsed to travel to you to do it.

Way too much drama in this relationship. Move on. Never go back, always forward.

And for future reference....stop giving your power away! You don't need anyone's permission to enjoy a day to yourself. You don't and shouldn't give in to another person's demands on your time....particularly when they're nasty beggars like the 'boyfriend'.
Practise saying 'NO'.
And as someone said upthread, raise the bar. Work out why you're attracting losers and putting yourself out for them.

So in summary you have to cancel your plans, pay to travel 2 hours to this losers house, to have shit sex?

I'm struggling with why tbh.

Does he really sound that bad ?

Now, I met up at his, we watched a movie and had sex. We stopped and I wanted to be done with sex as we have been at it for an hour- and you know I want to spend a bit of time with my boyfriend, talking, catching up with our day etc. Boyfriend complains, saying why, he wants to continue and that I'm always doing this..

Yes. Sorry OP but this was a booty call.

Be relieved that he's out if your life - he is definitely not a catch and seems more interested in what's in it for him rather than support for you.

We've all made mistakes. This was yours. Chin up and take care of yourself - you are definitely better off without him. In fact treat yourself to that facial, massage etc and block/delete him. 🌹

I've been on and off with him for the past 10 years. As you can tell I find it very difficult to end things and move on, especially when he begs me to come back to him. How can I stay broken up to him for good ?

How do you usually end up back with him?

You need to break all ties and stop all contact. Close the door on it completely, no trying to be friends, no shared social media, etc.

You need to start respecting yourself and get rid of him for good. What is he actually adding to your life? Does he make you happy? Sounds like a twat to me. You deserve better.

He sounds like a right tosser.

Does he actually have any good points?

Yuk, what a man child, diddums throws his toys out of the pram if he doesn't get enough attention & he should be getting his lazy ass up & travelling to young u if he needs to see you that badly, not playing the emotional blackmail card to get you to jump

I agree, run for the hills you've had a lucky escape

How do you stay broken up with him? You block contact. You don’t take calls. You send any mail back unopened. You just do it. He sounds horrible, so perhaps you need to consider your boundaries and what you truly want from a relationship. I am sure you can do better than this whiny, teenager-chasing manchild.