Do abusive men become non abusive for a different woman?

[Frizzbeol]

Does anyone have experience of abusive ex's changing when they find a new partner at a later stage in life? I'm in counselling with Women's Aid after a long relationship with somebody who was, to me at least, pretty abusive. We had two children together who he didn't put first to put it mildly. I've found out he's girlfriend of not even a year is pregnant and it's got me again questioning whether it was all somehow my fault. He's said that he's grown up but somebody capable of that level of nastiness surely must be made that way. Do they ever change? He's said he's grown up but he really was horrible.

Basically, there is too much class in this ass. He knew it then. I know it now.
And mine was a beating semi-annually along with the other obsessive controlling behaviour. About twice a year I broke out and did something unreasonable, like speaking to someone at the bar or such, so I needed a hammering to keep me in line

And I get how bloody infuriating it can be where you can't say to anyone 'SEE - I TOLD YOU WHAT HE'S LIKE!!!'.

Best to let the bugger off.

Once YOU are better off, who cares how he is. Prick like him.

Last two beatings I got were:

1. We had been dancing all night and all eyes were on me. When I got home, I was beaten black and blue. His excuse? Because I had been rude to a girl sitting next to me who had taken my seat.

1. I was starting a new job the next day.

I got rammed into a wall head first. His excuse? I was criticising everything.

I think with this new girl he'll do better. I don't think she works, she's not really all that much to look at, having had her swear at me on the phone she sounds like a right sort, so I think he'll do well with her.

Yes @LittleDoll there was many loop holes he had to jump through & courses he had to complete to be able to get contact with our children on his release and his courses continued after through probation...I will say he still has a very fixed attitude in life which is quite passive aggressive and he must always be in control.No emotion (unless to his kids).Ive never had a sorry.Hes never acknowledged the years of damage he done to me mentally and physically.Broken facial bones.You name it.And that hurts.It hurts i was a "lesson" and I'm left damaged mentally by it still even though I have a lovely new partner of 5 years.But I wish him happiness as my children will benefit from him being in a functioning relationship.But i think the deep reasons inside someone are why they are abusive be it insecurity in themselves.Their parents were abusive to them.Or just thriving off others pain.I beleive those issues take longer and possibly will never be changed.They just learn to control it and not harm others because they are feeling bad on that day/week or month.And that's all you can ask I guess.Dont make others suffer just because you are.People that love you are there to help you.And abusers just push them away sadly rather than accept love and help as they feel vulnerable.So in the long run.Its them I pity.A new relationship and a new sense of self control doesnt vanish those inner turmoils that made them abuse in the first place.And that must be worse to live with.Than the memories of being abused.