Overthinking online dating!

[NotAProperGrownUp]

I’m new to old, think I might hate it... I set up a Bumble profile, talked briefly to three men then freaked out at the weirdness of it and deleted the account! However, one of the people I was speaking to really interested me as we seemed to have stuff in common and it felt normal. We’ve been messaging on WhatsApp a lot for a couple of weeks and it’s really brightened my day. We’ve spoken on the phone three times and it’s been easy and fun, we’re now meeting up this week. Sounds all good right? BUT.... how do I know if he’s just playing with me/just after sex/somehow tricking me? I feel so naive and vulnerable, what feels like a genuine spark to me could be just his strategy working nicely or he might actually like me.
Actually, just writing this reminds me of my diaries as a 17 year old trying to get the lad on the school bus to fancy me.
Does it get less stressful or should I step away till I’m a bit tougher?

Hi there!

This could have been me writing this about 18 months ago. I think to start with OLD feels very weird and strange and I totally identify with the logging on and off again and deleting my account.

It does get easier, first few dates are always strange to navigate but everyone's experiences are different.

There's a really supportive thread on here, specifically about dating and I used it a lot in the early stages of dating as a virtual hand hold and found it really helpful to ask questions that I had.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3604484-Dating-thread-161-Can-anybody-find-me-somebody-to-love

The best advice I can give you is meet someone relatively quickly, within 2 weeks or so, try not to get overinvested early on. It is ok to speak to other people at the same time, in fact I'd encourage it because it stops you fixating on one person and will help you to not go crazy.

Bumble is one of the better platforms out there. I prefer the interface and there seems to be less rubbish go sift through compared to Tinder 😂

Finally, I cannot stress this enough...... Dating is supposed to feel like fun and if at any point it stops feeling that way or you feel like Someone is stringing you along or playing games, don't be afraid to exit and leave that situation.

It does require a thick skin sometimes (it took me a while to get one 😂) but I'm sure you will navigate it just fine
......

Totally join the dating thread they are really friendly and helpful 🌈 Good Luck x

Sorry the last thing I forgot to add was that the way I mentally look at going into dates is expectations low, standards high..... And you can't go far wrong with that 😂

Thanks, that’s just the kind of sane response I needed! I’ll join in the dating thread and try to learn more. For now, feet firmly on the ground and zero expectations!

Can I also recommend a couple of good people to follow online in relation to relation advice - you may or may not find them useful but I literally couldn't get enough and it's really helped me get into a decent mindset when it comes to dating.

Matthew Hussey - Check him out on YouTube and Instagram he has some great advice about dating and is all about empowering women.

Another one is Amy Young, also on YouTube and Instagram. she's American & a little bit bonkers but don't let that put you off..... Her delivery is amazing and funny and she makes some really valid points when it comes to dating. Again, women empowerment and building up self esteem/worth are her key messages.

Have fun & good luck xx