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Original poster

Would a man really be interested in...

54 replies

BigRedLondonBus · 16/06/2019 20:31

A woman with 4 children? I am a single parent to 4, I’ve been single since my ex left 2 years ago. Everyone I know keeps saying I should date and try to meet someone’s but I can’t accept that a man would be interested in a woman with 4 children (it’s not the same as having one or two) am I right? Should I just accept I will never meet anyone? I’m only 30 and feel like I will be alone forever.

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 16/06/2019 20:34

How old are the children?

Original poster
BigRedLondonBus · 16/06/2019 20:35

8,7,5 and 2.

OP posts:
JustMe9 · 16/06/2019 20:38

Would you be interested in a man with 4 children?

BoneyBackJefferson · 16/06/2019 20:38

Depends what you are after in a relationship.

There are men that would take on 4 kids as their own but I would think that they are few and far between.

There are men that would go out with you, and do a sort of weekend dad thing. Keep their own place etc.

And there are men that would want to date you but have nothing to do with the kids.

barbiedreamhouse · 16/06/2019 20:39

No don't be silly. Of course you won't be single forever. If you meet a man and he wants you he will look past the fact you have 4 kids and lI've you for you 😊

Original poster
BigRedLondonBus · 16/06/2019 20:41

Would you be interested in a man with 4 children?

Hmm that is a good question. Probably not.

OP posts:
Original poster
BigRedLondonBus · 16/06/2019 20:41

Hence I don’t think any men would be interested in me.

OP posts:
disneyspendingmoney · 16/06/2019 20:43

I think before you start, have a good long think about what it is you are looking for, a soulmate who will be a good role model to your DCs or some lightweight company because it's seriously lonley and boring being a lone parent.

You could always have something lightweight while looking for soulmate, there's nothing to stop you doing that.

At 30 the world is your oyster, there is little to stop you (other than the hard graft of raising kids). But take your time and be choosy and vet them, make sure they match your needs, not their wants

Sally2791 · 16/06/2019 20:45

I would just accept them as part of the package. I think a man with no children would be more off putting to me, it's such a divide,kids or no kids

DuchessAnnogovia · 16/06/2019 20:47

My partner accepted me with 2 children. My DSF accepted that my DM came as a package with 3 children. They've been together 48 years now.

sincethereis · 16/06/2019 20:49

I wouldn’t consider someone with 4 young kids in most cases tbh. It’s just a lot to get yourself into. As adult children, yes.

Tbh most men probably wouldn’t but there will be men out there who will.

category12 · 16/06/2019 20:50

Yes, there are guys who'd be interested in you.

What you have to be wary of is thinking you're a poor prospect and not valuing yourself, and ending up accepting crappy treatment from potential partners because you're "grateful" they've taken you and the dc on. Yes, finding someone who wants such a family situation means your pool of partners is probably smaller - it doesn't mean you should accept any stinking fish.

Iwalkedaway · 16/06/2019 20:56

I think I’d be questioning the motives of a man who would be super keen on dating me if I was the mother of 4 really little ones! -*but I work in a field that probably causes me to think like that.

WhereForArtThouBray · 16/06/2019 20:59

I have 3 DC and have never been short of suitors. Don't look for someone to step in and bring up the kids, look for someone you can have fun with and take it really slowly. Dating is for you, not to find a father figure.

ThisIsACloselyGuardedSecret · 16/06/2019 21:00

Honestly? I wouldn't be interested in a man who had 4 children those ages. Or at least, I wouldn't be interested in a 'proper' relationship with him.

A casual relationship that I didn't see a future in? Of course. But at such young ages? No. But then, I have two children of my own and I wouldn't expect someone to take them on either.

That doesn't mean no one would want to take on your 4 children. But, at their ages, any proper relationship is going to require someone to be quite 'hands on'.

I know a woman who has 3 children. They were still at primary school when she met a man who'd never been married and had no children. They've been married 10 years now and they are an amazing family. He's a decent man; attractive and has a good job. But he fell in love with her and her family.

Anything is possible.

Also, Category is right. Don't sell yourself short.

diamanter · 16/06/2019 21:03

It depends on many things- what are you looking for?
Are you looking for dating and fun in your child free time? If so then children won't be much of an issue.
Are you looking for someone to eventually move in with and settle down? If so then that (should) be a long time in the future when your children are a few years older. It doesn't put everyone off, especially men that have dc with previous partners.

I have 3 dd's and it has not stopped me dating and becoming semi serious with someone, but he has yes to meet them or me his, this will be another 6 months or so and I have absolutely no plans to live with another man anytime in the near (or far!) future so it's not much of an issue.

Original poster
BigRedLondonBus · 16/06/2019 21:06

Thanks category12 I will take that on board.

I’m not looking for a fwb or casual relationship as I’ve never been one for casual relationships.

OP posts:
lexi873 · 16/06/2019 21:06

I know how you feel OP, I’ve got 3 primary school children and I’m 31, been single since October and just recently started seeing a new man for the first time.
I told a work colleague and she said “does he know about the children?” I said yes I’ve told him and he’s fine with it, she said “wow that’s lucky then” or something to that effect, which I found slightly hurtful because I guess this must be the opinion plenty of people have, but why shouldn’t we find happiness again?!
The only thing I’m wary of (mostly from reading posts on here tbh) is men who deliberately target single mums in the hope of being a cocklodger cos surely we must be desperate for male attention!
Like a PP said, take it slow dating!

Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge · 16/06/2019 21:12

I have been with my dh for 7 years . Married nearly 4..
Today he got cards off my teen ds's saying 2 what a fab sf he has been!
My youngest have never seen their df and call him dad.
Op, my dh says he felt privileged to have been invited and accepted into their lives. It was never him taking on my dc - terrible phrase imo - but it was trusting him enough to allow him into our family!!
My adult dc respect and love him very much.
Oh and forgot to mention - I had 10 dc when we met. And he is a lot younger than me!!
Your dc will be a credit to you I am sure op, a decent man will be proud to share them.

sincethereis · 16/06/2019 21:45

10?

SylvanianFrenemies · 16/06/2019 21:48

My DP's friend has just moved in with his girlfriend and her 5 children. So, yes.

TeachesOfPeaches · 16/06/2019 22:24

There's a woman who posts on here who claims to have 10 children, then spilt up with children's dad and then met someone else and had number 11 Confused

TeachesOfPeaches · 16/06/2019 22:28

I'm 33 year old single parent to a 3 year old and I haven't been near a man in any capacity for years. Would find it very odd if a man was interested in me knowing I have a very young child.

stucknoue · 16/06/2019 22:31

Most wont but they may be just a few and one is perfect for you. Perhaps a man who cannot have natural children for instance

Laurajjj · 16/06/2019 22:34

It's going to take a certain type of guy to step up and take on a woman with four young children. They do exist but I suspect it will be hard work to find him. Just being honest. Focus on enjoying your children in the meantime. They are a gift that are forever rewarding.