How to explain weight loss to DP who is slim

[PixiKitKat]

How can I explain to my DP that losing weight isn't easy to my DP who is slim? He has never been fat or overweight in his life. I don't think he understands how difficult it can be to lose weight.
I'm not massively overweight, I need to lose about 3 stone though.
He knows I want to lose weight but he comments when I make bad food choices, says my portions are too big etc
I honestly don't eat that badly, I've done healthy diet and gym before and it's a slow process for me to lose weight.
I just don't think he understands as he is trying to help but his negative comments just make me feel like a failure :(

What do you think fat shaming is? It doesn't have to be overt to have the same effect

Thanks for the replies.
He did apologise last night for what he said.
For those who thinks he's saying it as he is healthy, eats correct calories- he really doesn't. We'll often have tea and for me that will be the last thing I eat whereas he will eat nearly a whole pack of biscuits too!

@Graphista thank you, a lot of what you say is familiar. We did have different upbringings when it came to food. In his house, they always had a sweet cupboard and could stop eating tea whenever he wanted. My family were much poorer, I remember nights sitting at the table for hours until I finished everything on my plate. We did get sweets but they were always eaten when they were given.

The way he commented on my food today did set me up a bit, I'd already eaten something and he asked if I wanted X food and said okay. He then was like but you've just eaten all of that and now want X as well? I called him out on it though, why offer X in the first place?? Does it make him feel good to get a dig in at me?

When he comments it just makes me feel like a child being told I can't have something. I think a lot of my habits do stem from childhood, the poverty and being told things in the house weren't for me but we're for my siblings. As an adult I have so much choice and it can all be for me.

Just tell him to FO and you'll lose the weight in your own time.

On a side note, it won't be helping you to think that he can eat anything and not put on weight. It's unlikely to be true - if he kept a log his calories would probably surprise you. IME (and in studies) slim people who eat "shit" and "anything they want" don't actually overeat on calories.

Good luck.

Not in a cunty way but have you considered therapy?

It sounds like your eating habits are tied up in childhood and could be unravelled.

I think h s likely not being mean from what you're saying, the issue he doesn't understand is you wish to looose weight, are unhappy with your weight and consistently make bad food choices to maintain that weight.

And you are consistently making bad food choices if you're maintaining at three stone over weight. It's not his fault you're overweight, , you can easily say I want a smaller portion for dinner.

The fact he offered you something was a no win for him, if he hadn't offered you'd likely be offended too.

So just tell him you don't want him to comment any further on how much or what you eat. Because that's the issue. You don't want him to point it out.

Weight loss is one of those things that is easy and simple to understand but can be challenging to do. Both of you should be able to grasp though that for the vast majority of people, proven relevant medical issues excepted, weight loss is a simple matter of calories in calories out. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to grasp that, doesn’t need making more complex than it is!

Also OP you can hit the gym if you want to for fitness but it’s perfectly doable and easy to lose weight based on diet alone. I’ve done it. Just cut your caloric intake to approx 1500 per day for the first week or two then drop to 1200 for the remainder of the time it takes to shift your weight. Three stone overweight is a lot so you’ll be burning plenty of calories just in normal day to day life and the weight will drop off on 1200. Keep track with my fitness pal, weigh yourself daily or every other day first thing in the morning, and keep your eye on why you’re doing this. I lost 23lb last year/this year doing this and it worked a treat and I’ve kept it off. Just consume less than you burn and you’re golden. You can explain that to your OH if he doesn't understand weight loss.