Best friends secretary always rude to me.

[Toddlerteaplease]

We've been friends for years. He was promoted and moved to another city about 5 years ago. He inherited a secretary who has been in the role since the 1950's. I've always been nice to her. But recently shoes stated being really rude to me when I go to visit. Bother their offices are in his home so she makes me feel very unwelcome. It was his birthday the other day and he invited me to something he does each week. And she was complaining to him about me being there.
He usually will stick up for me, and he did but it really spoiled the day. They are friends but as his secretary I think she's massively overstepping the boundaries. How do I deal with it, without being petty.

This?

She clearly does love the job and is working through choice.

Does she have a Thorn Birds tattoo? Sorry, I'll fetch my coat !

Is this your friend and his secretary ? You're Amanda aren't you ......

Nessi - op has painted her as a very grumpy and, unhappy lady.

She must be well into her eighties, and has been in this one job, I assume, for her entire career. No promotions, no apparent change of scene.

I actually also meant poor woman because OP is complaining about her, but yes i do think it’s a shame she didn’t have the opportunity to progress. But she might have had lots of opportunities but turned them down.

But hey this is just a causal conversation amounts strangers, lets not escalate😂😂😂😂😂😂😂,

I would suspect, OP, that she acts the same way to everyone who visits in a non-professional capacity and it’s just her manner; and that’s why your friend let’s it mostly slide. And if she’s a secretary in a very traditional role and has been since the 1950s then she’ll interpret things like you taking over “her” kitchen to make tea or generally wandering around “her” house as if it’s your own as an imposition.

But I’d have to say something, I think, even if it was just “Barbara, recently on my visits I’ve felt that you really don’t like me being here and when Dave invited me to his birthday party and you complained about it I felt very uncomfortable. Have I done something to upset you?”

@ComtesseDeSpair it was mentioned when I visited once that she's made me feel very uncomfortable. However I didn't want to mention it again. And just pretended it never happened. My friend said to have it out with her but I don't do confrontation. Anyway I think I shouldn't have started this thread And reported it but they won't delete it.