Single again at 36

[BillieEyelash]

What is being single in your 30's really like?
Finally letting go of a relationship that does more harm than good and wondering what my future might hold...
Good bad and ugly please

I had a bloody great time! From 37 - 42 single and carefree. Thought sod it and moved to Asia for 3.5 years. Made great friends, had amazing experiences, finally developed some confidence and self esteem. Grew to really like myself. Ah happy days!!

I agree with @Thingsdogetbetter I've been single over a year and am mid thirties. I like it, I can do what I want and am learning a lot about myself. I'm in no rush to meet anyone now.

Best years of your life, I literally cannot imagine living with someone again, I’m too busy

Fucking brilliant.

Split up with my H aged 33. Spent 2 years doing whatever the fuck I liked (improving my career prospects because I didn't need to placate him every time I got home, I could just work; improving my relationship with DS, because I didn't need to referee arguments any more; strengthening my friendships, because I didn't need to put up with his envy and insecurity any more; masturbating, because duh.)

Started to date again at age 36, moved in with a guy at age 37, thought we were set for marriage and a blended family, turned out he was a lying wankstain. Single again age 39.

Since then have not even considered dating seriously. Have been on a few casual dates and developed a FWB for a couple of years but he's now moved on to meet someone and want to be exclusive and I'm happy he has.

I'm eyeing up a few potential candidates to replace him. But there's no way I'd want to share my home with someone again. I mean apart from my menagerie of animals!

Absolutely agree. I am the queen of my own castle. I take lovers and get rid when it feels like too much effort. The peace I have now is so precious after living with dickhead I would not exchange it for anything in the world.

Feel inspired after reading all your replies! Thank you!
I'm in a fortunate position of already living on my own, last relationship was a few years but hadn't got to the point of entwining our lives too much...so I'm already independent and love that.
My main worries are loneliness and filling my time on weekends etc seeing as around me, everyone else is coupled up and has been long term...my DC are away EOW with their dad...how do I fill my time? This weekend I've done precisely nothing (although kind of needed that for self-healing purposes)

If you want to do nothing do nothing. You can volunteer, join some local clubs etc. What are you interested in?

"Masturbating, because duh" made me chuckle 😂

@Piggle23
Sounds a bit ridiculous but I'm not sure what I'm interested in...I would like to maybe do an adult course at college? I can look into that.
I am the kind of person who needs people around me so I will have to think of some things involving others...xx

Echoing what everyone else has said - it’s fab! Sounds a bit cheesy but for me I’m more secure in myself than I’ve ever been. In my 20’s I felt like I should be out and about all the time and any time at home was wasted but I’ve done a complete flip and now I love spending time relaxing! My tip is to really make your home feel relaxing and a place you want to be and be truly comfortable spending time there so you’re not forcing yourself out to do things when you just don’t want to!

Go for it! Out of everything, I've found that courses are great for meeting new friends! :) x

I became single again at 41 after a very long relationship. These have been the best 2 years of my life. I'm dating again and loving it.

Ahh this sounds cheesy too but thanks so much for all your positive responses and I'm glad you are all happy ❤️ I already feel stronger than I did an hour or two ago...xx

I was single between from 35 until I met my 2nd husband. Had 2 children. It can be hard at first as life previously revolves around family, but once you realise you can do what you like it’s liberating. I would literally not know what to do at first especially when kids went to their dads but then I realised I could do all the things I wanted to but couldn’t as I didn’t have time due to being wifey. It was fantastic: working late and my career progressing, gym, seeing films, reading, friends, going to gigs, going into London to art galleries. Bloody loved it and difficult to give up. As they say- men benefit from marriage, women benefits from divorce.

Totally agree with everyone. Now I’m in my 40s the pressure to be out has gone completely. If I want to stay in and binge watch a box set with a meal I've made for specially for myself or a take away I can! I don’t feel I’m missing out. On the flip side I can meet with colleagues or old friends whereas before I was managing the family social life so that my DSs didn’t realise what a twat of a dad they had.
As for activities st the beginning I did lots of things through meet up. The confidence I got from turning up to random things was brilliant and you realise lots of people are in the same boat of looking for like minded souls. Not all are divorced or single parents. Human connections can be v broad.

Do you have children or want them?

@TheStuffedPenguin
I do have children, and don't want anymore. Does it make a difference? Xx

was asking as someone in her 30s who doesn't have children and wanted them might approach being single in a different way ...sorry just noticed you mentioned your DC away EOW

I think that us ladies are much better than being on our own than men and I don't understand the big fuss people make about being single like it's a disease. A lot of people on here seem to have awful relationships with men and some women are much happier single.
I like woodpe woop s comment about marriage.
There are different levels of relationships as well I live as a single parent have done for last 6 years following divorce. I have a BF who I see most weekends but have no intention of living with him anytime soon and it suits me and him.I don't see the big thing with being tied to someone financially as in a mortgage form my experience it's hard to get out of and I d rather have my own space.
The reason why it matter s r e kids is depends on your age as a woman in her 30 s who wants kids would be more interested in settling down whereas if you have already done this then you may not be so keen. People are different and some are better than others at being on my own. My advice would be to enjoy it and make the most of you and your free time.its not all about men 😀

I was widowed the day before my 36th birthday, with two babies. The next 20 years were spent in an exhausting blur of full time work as a hospital doctor and being a single parent.
My nearest relatives were 250 miles away and also worked, so couldn’t help out.
I still love and miss DH, and never remarried. Now I’m retired, I at least have time for myself and have been able to have some hobbies. But my 30’s and 40’s were just a battle against grief, loneliness and tiredness, while pretending to be cheerful for the kids’ sake.
I’d advise anyone else single at that age to prioritise their social life and try to have some adult human contact. I didn’t have a babysitter and being autistic found it difficult to socialise anyway. I got out once every six weeks, to a book group, once the DC were older.

I can tell you being single at 40 was great.
And being single at 50 is also fabulous.
I cannot imagine ever living with a guy again.
I love my space!

I became single at 35 after a long marriage. After i got over break up i loved it. The freedom of doing what i wanted and when it was really liberating. Had pink towels in bathroom; ate dinner when i wanted. Visited parents when i wanted without any complaints.... it was a fun time i look back at it fondly. Find new interests and things you always wanted to do x

Thank you for the replies!

Might sound silly, but did you find it hard making/keeping friends due to them being in marriages/families themselves?

I have plenty of friends but married/partnered ones and so see them mainly in the week for catch ups...their weekends are full of family/romantic stuff and mine now just seem long and empty

I guess my main fear is that of being lonely x

I do find that married friends have slightly different priorities, as do friends with kids vs ones without. I have a kid so can't always drop everything for a quick beer on the spur of the moment like my child-free friends, so I don't get to socialise as much as I'd like, and sometimes at the weekend the married but childless folk are hanging with their other half. But not to the extent that it's a huge problem.
I'm 35 and I love being single and living alone, not sure I'd ever want to give up the latter although I do miss sex and doing coupley stuff like wandering round B&Q

In reply to your question Billie eyelash maybe it's time to make new friends who are also single I have a mixture now and sometimes I feel friends who are married or with partners don't really understand at times. The meet up s are a good way to meet new people or a hobby group you enjoy the problems I have is with having EOW you can't join something regularly but there are ways around it .