Me and my oh have been together for 9 years we are engaged and planning a wedding in the next couple of years.
We need ivf next year as my oh has infertility.
He is a genuinely lovely person and works very hard ( 2 jobs ). I feel like we don’t see each other much because of how much he works but we go to bed together every night and talk before sleep.
I do everything around the house cleaning cooking and washing which I don’t mind, I work part time now.
Sometimes I have a niggling feeling that my oh doesn’t love me I’m not sure if it’s just insecurity but sometimes deep down tell myself he doesn’t.
He has swore at me a few times over silly things for example we were put a few weeks ago after some shopping and we were having lunch he doesn’t like tomatoes so I joked putting it by his plate ( it didn’t touch it) he told me to stop it and I did it once more and just laughed but he told me to “just fuckoff”. He said it quite nastily and I had to hold in my tears. We didn’t speak until a few hours later and he said sorry and that he didn’t mean to say it so nastily. I told him he shouldn’t be saying it at all.
I’ve told him quite a few times I don’t want a relationship where we think it’s ok to swear at each other (his mom and her husband are like this with each other) and it’s awful.
We joke about sometimes and I’ve called him a dickhead but it’s not malicous, the way he told me to fuckoff was.
I think things like that are why I feel like he doesn’t love me, am I right?
I know sometimes the stress of the infertility gets to us both. We’ve wanted children for years. We hardly see his side of the family anymore because his siblings have recently had children and we found it hard to be around them. They also make nasty comments and I genuinely think they are toxic so I kept my distance. What do you think? Am I over thinking it?