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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Leaving tomorrow, need a hand hold please

63 replies

AboutToJumpShip · 12/06/2019 07:13

Been in a psychologically abusive relationship over twenty years. Finally, with the help of my local crisis centre, social services and a very few good friends, I have found a flat. Husband is away overnight tomorrow, so my chance is here, but I’m panicking.

What are the most important things to take? I know I’m not going to be able to take everything that’s mine, but I want to get the vital things out.

And then what? I need to start to change addresses on everything. Need insurance on the flat (rented but I’ll need contents insurance.

I have to go out to work shortly, but my mind is all over the place. Any help would be massively appreciated.

OP posts:
Weenurse · 15/06/2019 00:20

Well done, have you settled in?

AboutToJumpShip · 15/06/2019 06:43

Just woken up. Feeling quite relaxed.

The dog has slept on the bed with me for the first time ever.

The landlord, who lives upstairs, has had music on all night. Not sure what it is, mostly folk / gentle music. I’m quite enjoying that, which is just as well!

Still lots of stuff that sort out. I’d like to get it done, but I’m not going to stress about it.

Planning a shopping trip today. A few things we want to get, including some plants and maybe some lamps to make the place cosy.

Spoke to ex-H (might as well start getting used to writing that). He was contrite - all his fault and he understands why - which is all very well - heard it before, but it never extends to actually doing something proactive to sort himself out.

He asked whether DS was with me. He didn’t ask about seeing DS on the phone. No custody fight for me. I was thinking afterwards that if it was me, and my spouse left with the children, I’d be desperate to know when I could see them and whether I could have them 50%, but nothing. When I pointed this out and asked whether he shouldn’t be asking about seeing DS, ex-H’s response was “Well that’ll be up to him”.

I haven’t told DS, but I will tell the social worker who’s been helping. Ex-H was more concerned about DDog. Which says it all really.

Anyway, I’m going to end on a happy note. I love my new flat. DS does too and my young adult daughter, who has helped and is also staying for a while.

Thanks again for your encouragement. I’ve seen these threads before and I knew you wonderful vipers would have my back.

OP posts:
NotMaryWhitehouse · 15/06/2019 07:12

@AboutToJumpShip congratulations on your new home!

Enjoy your first weekend of freedom : )

MrsMozartMkII · 15/06/2019 07:23

Excellent update.

Sad that your STBX has such a skewed response regarding your son, though on the other hand it does confirm that you made the right decision.

Here's to far happier days lass WineBrewFlowers

Rainbowqueeen · 15/06/2019 07:32

So pleased to hear how positive you sound and that all is going well

Enjoy the shopping trip and the rest of your life

Todayisontheup · 15/06/2019 07:32

Congratulations, @AboutToJumpShip, when you submit your mail redirect, please remember to hide your new address! If you fo it over the phone tell them you don't it to be disclosed.

Royal Mail automatically send a confirmation letter as a security precaution to the old address. I was not sure whether you were hiding your new address. Good luck Smile

FinallyHere · 15/06/2019 07:41

Congratulations @AboutToJumpShip and DD and DS

The rest of your life starts here 😀

Sofasurfingsally · 15/06/2019 07:44

Well done you.

Frazzled2207 · 15/06/2019 08:15

Just rtft so pleased for you! Such a brave move! Well done. Welcome to the rest of your life!

mybeebop · 15/06/2019 08:20

Well done. Enjoy your first weekend of freedom. Really pleased for you. Go get your new brilliant life

redastherose · 15/06/2019 08:28

Congratulations and well done on the start of your new life.

Weenurse · 16/06/2019 01:27

Congratulations 🍷🍰

hellsbellsmelons · 17/06/2019 09:42

Fantastic update OP.
So glad you are all happy.
Well done and keep strong.

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