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Original poster

About to message someone online...

82 replies

Willing2acceptAdvice · 09/06/2019 17:08

Hi all,

Ladies I need you advice. I’m about to message someone online. She says she is a hopeless romantic like me and likes to laugh. I would imagine that this would be the key to the chance of getting a reply...

I wanted to know your thoughts on my proposed message?

Any advice would be great:

Hello, bonjour, aloha and salut! I wasn’t sure how to say hi, so I tired a couple of ways. So how are you? How has your weekend been 😬 x

I was thinking of something witty to say seen as you say you like to laugh something like “my atoms like your atoms it must be chemistry” or “you had me at online now” but I don’t want to sound cheesy 😋

On a really serious note though. Hi I’m Dave haha.

So tell me about being a make up artist? What do you do? Who are your clients?

It would be great to hear back from you, chat a little and see if we have anything in common and without sounding like I’m counting my chickens maybe even get myself a date...

Take care x

OP posts:
Houseofmirth66 · 09/06/2019 17:23

Yikes. This is every kind of awful. Why don’t you say something about yourself instead of all the cringe inducing banter? And If you have to say haha after a joke it isn’t funny.

Original poster
Willing2acceptAdvice · 09/06/2019 17:25

So is that message really that bad? But all noted thank you

OP posts:
wonderpants · 09/06/2019 17:26

I quite liked it! I like that you have thought about what she said rather than given a standard cut and paste message. But definitely include some information about you!

tessiegirl · 09/06/2019 17:27

Yeah definitely trying too hard...sorry

Orangepear · 09/06/2019 17:28

The last paragraph is fine. The rest is dreadful, sorry!

Frith2013 · 09/06/2019 17:29

Just send the last paragraph.

crappyday2018 · 09/06/2019 17:31

I think its too long. Don't use emojis either (I know most people do now). Its just a bit OTT I think. How about something more like:

Hi there, hope you've had a good weekend.Your profile sounds interesting and I'd like to hear more about you. Dave

I mean that is just my preference. Don't try to be too funny, just keep it fairly short and to the point without just the boring 'hi' or 'hows you?'.

The only time I've responded to a longer message was when I had a lot in common with the guy and he mentioned he had been at the same gig as me (one of my profile pics).

cookiechomper · 09/06/2019 17:32

No don't send anything of the sort. Just a simple Hi I'm Dave, how are you? I like the look of your profile...something short and simple.

MuthaFunka61 · 09/06/2019 17:32

Cut out the kisses too,it's over familiar and unnecessary at this stage.

RagingWhoreBag · 09/06/2019 17:33

I thought it was mainly ok. I’ve tweaked it a bit below just to tone it down a tiny bit.

Hello, bonjour, aloha and salut! I wasn’t sure how to say hi, so I tried a couple of ways.

So how was your weekend?

I was going to open with a joke as you say you like to laugh, something like “my atoms like your atoms it must be chemistry” or “you had me at online now” but I don’t want to sound cheesy!

Anyway, I’m Dave. (Insert Something interesting about Dave here)

So tell me about being a make up artist? What do you do? Who are your clients?

It would be great to hear back from you, chat a little and see if we have anything in common and without sounding like I’m counting my chickens maybe even get myself a date...

Look forward to hearing from you, Dave.

I’ve just chopped a few of the more cringey bits (and all the emojis!!) for you. Nothing wrong with a little bit of cheese and it will give her an idea about what you’re like.

Bonus point for being able to string a sentence together with perfectly acceptable spelling and grammar. Another bonus for asking about her work and showing that you’ve read her profile.

Go get her, tiger!

RagingWhoreBag · 09/06/2019 17:37

Yeah, could maybe trim a bit more, but similarly you want to get some personality into it, otherwise it’s just another “hi how are you” message.

Divinelyuninspired · 09/06/2019 17:41

I would keep it short and sweet. I don’t mind the bonjour salut bit at the start. Maybe just do that.

You just need an opener. If she is interested having looked at your profile and photos then you can start chatting and ask her about her weekend/job etc.

Theworldcouldbemymollusc · 09/06/2019 17:41

Gin dear gods please never let me enter the world of OLD again.

VanillaCoconutDove · 09/06/2019 17:44

How old are you/how old is she? It’s much more cringy if either are over 22.

Drop the lol/haha/emojis/kisses. It comes across as insecure or immature.

WoodyWoodpecker4 · 09/06/2019 17:56

and hope she is not on MN and reads this post Grin

Original poster
Willing2acceptAdvice · 09/06/2019 18:08

This was my other thought...

Hello, bonjour, aloha and salut! I wasn’t sure how to say hi, so I tired a couple of ways.

So how are you? How has your weekend been?

On a really serious note though. Hi I’m Dave, I’m from Location. Interesting fun fact: I once met Prince Charles.

I was reading something in the sun the other (which means it must be true). Apparently scientist have found women of above average intelligence prefer brownie sundaes over cheese cake. How do you feel about this?

A. Sundaes all the way, complete with waffle and cherry on the top
B. Mmmm cheesecake, the paper is a load of tosh anyways
C. I can’t believe apple pie or the great British scone is on there
D. Your own answer...

So tell me about being a make up artist? What do you do? Have you had any famous clients??

Looking forward to hearing from you,
Dave

OP posts:
Bumpdebump · 09/06/2019 18:11

Just fucking go for it Dave . Be yourself. The right woman for you will love it.

Neilsfavouritechilli · 09/06/2019 18:13

I echo the pp. Just be you!! You sound cute.

Houseofmirth66 · 09/06/2019 18:15

Make it stop.

mumofwantwomany · 09/06/2019 18:15

Shorten it down imo. You've got wayyy too much in there for a first message - in fact I'd say that's more like five different opening messages combined into one

Cloudyyy · 09/06/2019 18:15

All kinds of horrific. Do not send these messages if you’re hoping for a reply!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 09/06/2019 18:16

They read like the awful chat up lines that get shared on forums. Especially the second one!

How old are you both? I think they're both quite full on. I'd go with a sentence or two, be casual. Anything this long and awkward, I probably would respond to. Not to be mean, I just wouldn't know what to say!

Best of luck!

tierraJ · 09/06/2019 18:16

If I received either of those messages I would not reply. To be blunt.

But some women may may love your sense of humour so perhaps it's best just to be yourself at the beginning.

cookiechomper · 09/06/2019 18:27

It's the bonjour bit at the start, it's a bit cringy. When I was on OLD I didn't like messages that were like that as if I didn't like the man I felt bad as they had put a lot of thought and effort into it and had to let them down with a message, rather than just not replying.

dancemom · 09/06/2019 18:35

Urgh cringe.

Don't just say hi how are you but don't waffle on about Prince Charles or apple pie.

And definitely don't say you read the Sun!

A greeting, something that shows you have read her profile, something about you and a sign off.

That's all.