About to message someone online...

[Willing2acceptAdvice]

Hi all,

Ladies I need you advice. I’m about to message someone online. She says she is a hopeless romantic like me and likes to laugh. I would imagine that this would be the key to the chance of getting a reply...

I wanted to know your thoughts on my proposed message?

Any advice would be great:

Hello, bonjour, aloha and salut! I wasn’t sure how to say hi, so I tired a couple of ways. So how are you? How has your weekend been 😬 x

I was thinking of something witty to say seen as you say you like to laugh something like “my atoms like your atoms it must be chemistry” or “you had me at online now” but I don’t want to sound cheesy 😋

On a really serious note though. Hi I’m Dave haha.

So tell me about being a make up artist? What do you do? Who are your clients?

It would be great to hear back from you, chat a little and see if we have anything in common and without sounding like I’m counting my chickens maybe even get myself a date...

Take care x

@Willing2acceptAdvice
Did you send it and did she reply?

In fact, I would reply to you and say... it's a Yes, Oui, Ja, etc...

And we'd take it from there.

I'm not even joking

The second message was worse than the first!

(Are you in the Welsh Marches...? Asking for a friend...)

OP I’m OLD, also romantic and like to laugh. I also like messages from guys who can string a sentence together with decent grammar (not counting typos), and write something to show they’ve read my profile. That for me is way better than the generic messages I get that could be sent to anyone.

I wrote that I spoke a couple of languages in my profile and rather liked a message from a guy where he’d gone to the effort of writing something in one of them - it has a totally different alphabet to English too.

The responses on here show how different we all are. I’d go with your 1st message, suitable edited as suggested. Good luck!

And yes, leave kisses out at the start

Gosh doesn't this thread show we all like different things? If I was still in the murky waters of OLD I'd reply to any of your messages IF I liked what I saw on your profile. OLD is horribly superficial but it does come down to the fact that you can send the wittiest/most romantic/blandest message in the world but whether you get a reply or not does depend to some extent on your photos.

It's 'tried' not 'tired'. Once is an accident but you need to check your spelling because you got it wrong in multiple posts. Plus, on what planet would it be ok to ask someone who their clients are? Also, don't try to inject 'humour' if you are about as funny as Ebola.

You're massively over investing that you've gone to the trouble of starting a thread on MN for an opening email. You might write 20 + opening emails and just not get a reply because the other person prefers shorter / taller / more local / kids or no kids.

Eeek...noooo. Please, no. All kinds of bad. I would shudder and not reply; sorry .

Laughing my arse off at "make it stop."

Sorry to laugh, but this whole thread has been really funny! Dave - if I am totally honest, I am not sure I would really be into either of those messages that you sent. BUT, I genuinely think you should send either of them as it sounds like you are truly being yourself and if she likes your cheesiness then you are going to get on great. It makes sense to write in your own style because you can’t get Mumsnetters to edit all your messages. You do sound a bit geeky but some girls love that. I also like the fact that you cared enough about your interaction to post here. Best of luck and give us an update!

I agree with Mumuuadeeze and there is nothing wrong with coming on here to ask advice. Of course you might not get a reply but at least you’ve made an effort - something a lot of guys don’t bother with.

Both messages (especially the opening sentence) are a bit too cringe for me.

However, I think you sound like a nice person. And like people have said, it's better to be yourself than be someone you're not. Go for it

Please dont try and pretend to be something you're not. I say the geekiest corniest things and I found someone that loves them as they're part of me and no one else would even think about saying them. If I tried to be anything but me, hed have me sussed and the whole relationship would be disingenuous.
Good luck Dear Dave and I hope you find your penguin

Just cit out the middle bit and send her a dick pic

The ladies love that

Just be yourself , Dave .

If this message is 'you' then send it. There's not much point getting opinions from random women on the internet - I read it and thought 'not my type' but I doubt I'd be your type either!

If it concerns you, there are a couple of typos you might want to fix:

tired/tried
the sun - needs capitalising
scientist/scientists
scone is on there/isn't on there

I hope it works out for you!

@Grumpelstilskin - YES - thank you!!

Women like men who can do wheelies. Thats my advice.

@Noimaginationxyzz absolutely has it - you are overthinking and overinvesting. It's just a message.

Send loads to anyone you like the look of (meaning looks or profile). You'll probably get a reply rate of about 1 in 5, if you are doing well. It's just an introductory sentence to let someone know you are interested, and to see if they are too - you don't need War and Peace.

I'd go for a one- or two-liner; something short, yet referencing her profile. Do that with everyone you message. Message lots of people, because it is a numbers game.

The overwhelming likelihood is that she will ignore you anyway, so it isn't worth worrying so much about the opening message.

Ooops, for clarity, I mean message lots of people once. Don't send lots of messages to one person!! :-)

seen as you say you like to laugh

Its seeing.

Just be yourself. You will be fine.

Is this on OLD or are you messaging her on social media? And is she much younger than you?

I ask because a lot of young women get messages just like this from older men on Instagram. They don’t reply because it’s a bit creepy.

Just be natural: say hi, introduce yourself, ask a question about her/ her profile. Don’t overthink it and don’t write a whole essay.

Tony from Men Bhaving Badly? :P

Might be a bit long op but just be yourself I suppose, good luck. :)

When I did online dating, I messaged someone just saying,

"Hi, I'm looking for a disco dancing; polyglot to eat chocolate cake with*. Any idea where I might find one? x"

* substitute 3 relevant things he'd said about himself in his profile

He said it was, by far, the best initial message he'd received.

Just keep it short and sweet and show you've read their profile. It can be quite overwhelming to get a 'big' message first time and there were people I just didn't ever respond to because I spent so long working out how to address all their points that I gave up in the end.

Can't you just speak as if she was in front of you?Surely you wouldn't talk like that normally.

Just be yourself , Dan