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Original poster

Found photos of my DP’s colleague on his phone

64 replies

Lolly9111 · 08/06/2019 18:04

Yes, I was looking through his photos - not snooping, just scrolling back to find some old photos of our dog when he was a puppy. I found photo on my DP’s phone of a work colleague who I know he fancies (he’s said in the past he thinks she’s pretty) - not ones he had taken or she had sent him, but ones he’d got off her social media of her in a bikini (very skimpy) that he’d screenshotted. He’s obviously been using this as wank material. Don’t know what to think

OP posts:

mrssoap · 09/06/2019 07:24

I think the point here is does this upset you? If the answer is yes then you should definitely say something. Doesn't matter if other people think it's a big deal or not. Your the one in that relationship so it's how you feel that matters. Talk to him. Tell him it upsets you. If he meant no harm then he won't get defensive and reassure you instead. Good luck!

tullebelle · 09/06/2019 07:43

Saying someone is pretty doesn't automatically mean he fancies her.

If you want a quick answer confront him.

If not do what a pp said and delete the pics and see if he notices.

MarniLou · 09/06/2019 08:41

Yes, my DP often comments on the rubbish and sometimes offensive stuff that comes through some of his whatsapp groups. Perhaps this is an oversight. My DP's job would be at risk for some of it, he checks frequently and clears.

Certainly not a reason to leave home, come on posters! A conversation with him would be a first step surely???

MarniLou · 09/06/2019 08:42

comments to me, not on the group page

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 09/06/2019 08:45

I wouldn't delete them and say nothing, because he's hardly going to ask you where they went (and if they're from her social media he can just get them again) meanwhile you'll be stewing in silence with no way to bring it up.

Just ask him.

category12 · 09/06/2019 08:52

I think op will have noticed a tone or body language alongside the "she's pretty" statement, I don't know why people are pigheadedly trying to say it doesn't mean he fancies the colleague. Saying she's pretty and saving a photo of her in a bikini definitely means he fancies her.

Closetbeanmuncher · 09/06/2019 09:24

Hmm this is a different kettle of fish for me ....

Jacking off to strangers dtd in porn is one thing, this is quite stalkerish and creepy.

@skinnypete has a point re. checking the origin of the pic through the phone. Asking him is pretty pointless as he will either get defensive or lie.

PregnantOnPurpose · 09/06/2019 09:27

He screenshot a photo of someone he works with to wank over?

Leave him, tell her.

matahairyy · 09/06/2019 09:29

Yup. Wank bank. No other reason.

soarin · 09/06/2019 09:36

Just wank material, deffo pull him up but I wouldn't be too upset about it

Littletabbyocelot · 09/06/2019 10:11

I'd be way more bothered about this from her perspective than my own. If he's searched them out deliberately I wouldn't want to be with someone so disrespectful to women he works with. There's something really icky about seeing a woman in a work situation and feeling entitled to sexualise her so deliberately.

Qsandmore · 09/06/2019 10:15

Ew I can’t believe the responses are so calm.

Wank material from online ok. Screenshots of someone you actually know on your phone that they are unaware of is creepy AF.

I’d be out to be honest.

bringbacksideburns · 09/06/2019 10:22

Some weird responses on here.

Who saves photos of their attractive colleagues dressed in their bikinis on their phone? It is creepy and invasive. How can that not mean he fancies her or is he just admiring the design quality of the Bikini?

Damn right i'd be challenging it.

Thedilemma111 · 09/06/2019 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Thedilemma111 · 09/06/2019 11:10

You don’t know he searched for the picture .

It could be that some lads wattsapp group banter from work had this picture flying around and by him looking at it in the group chat , it’s ended up on his screen roll ( photo gallery )

Loveislandaddict · 09/06/2019 11:15

I think you need to do a bit more research to see if they have innocently landed on your husband phone, or whether he has pipit them there.

Definantly screenshot them (for evidence) then delete them, then later see if they re-appear.

probably a good idea to have pictures of your colleague in a bikini on your devices anyway

Sadiesnakes · 09/06/2019 11:20

It’s her fault her colleague is wanking over the picture , she made it available for him .*

And poor dp just couldn't help himself from being a sleazy creeper.

Again no bloody wonder men carry on treating women so badly with all the creeper apologists on here.

It's clear to most though- No, this is not acceptable at all, it's seriously crossing boundaries, both what should be yours and his colleagues.

Thedilemma111 · 09/06/2019 11:31

I stand by what I said .

Why put half naked pictures of yourself on the internet ? Because you want men drooling over you !

category12 · 09/06/2019 11:56

Why put half naked pictures of yourself on the internet ? Because you want men drooling over you !

Or it's a photo from a brilliant holiday you've had amongst lots of others that you put up because you wanted to share it with your friends. Or you think you look great and you want your mates to congratulate you on your weightloss, or your confidence.

Most women aren't thinking "oh the guys will like wanking to this!"

category12 · 09/06/2019 12:04

Everything isn't about what men are thinking.

Sn0tnose · 09/06/2019 12:52

Jesus fucking Christ Thedilemma If you ever get picked for jury duty, please try your hardest to get out of it, for everyone’s sake. And some people say we don’t need feminism anymore! She’s not posing on her bed wearing her underwear and a ‘come hither’ expression, she’s on a public beach in her swimwear. And I’m fairly sure she would be utterly creeped out at the thought that a colleague was using an innocent holiday photo to wank over.

OP, there’s a line that has been crossed here. It would be a deal breaker for me.

MangoBananaSleep · 09/06/2019 13:21

Ew, no. I would be fairly horrified if I thought that one of my colleagues was wanking over me.

You need to have a discussion with your DH. Hopefully there’s an innocent explanation.

matahairyy · 09/06/2019 13:22

agree with dilemma. Thirsty women post bikini shots on social women for men to drool over.
Unless the pic is in context “here I’m hand feeding a dolphin” it’s for general adoration.

matahairyy · 09/06/2019 13:24

Or “body confidence and empowerment “ 🙄🙄🙄.

Come on. We all know women and men like this online. THIRSTY

louise5754 · 09/06/2019 13:31

This is why I've never ever in 12 years looked through my husbands phone.

He is a sergeant and all the lads in his troop late teens / early 20s have several what's app groups. They all send videos, naked photos, pics of them with other women. I'd rather not know. You can't tell whether anything has been sent to him or whether he looked for it to either send it or keep for himself.

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