What is this?

[LuckyCharm9]

NC from my usual username for obvious reasons, I will try and keep this as brief as I can.
I have a male colleague who Is also a friend, we became close over the past year or so.

He says we have a connection and is very flirty with me, we are with each other I guess. I will sometimes start work earlier (as required by my boss) and he will come in early too and come to chat/have coffee.
We take our breaks together at work, we have lots in common and he often talks of me being his work wife. He is very tactile with me and will often stand close behind me whilst talking.
We are both married, children etc. Is this more than friendship? Or am I overthinking it?

I found myself in nearly exactly the same scenario. He got me, I got him, we just ‘clicked’. We spent every lunch together, messaged each other most days etc etc. Platonic, kind of, but too much contact for ‘just friends’ His wife found out and it shone a horrible light on how far over the line we’d let it go, almost accidentally. Apparently she’d already asked him to stop messaging me so much, which I didn’t know about. I feel awful for the pain I caused her, and the fact she now feels she cannot trust him. They’re still together, but still. Don’t do it OP.

No it’s not a wind up. I knew it felt different from a normal friendship and some people here have defined it as an emotional affair. I guess that’s the answer to my question.

You asked is this more than friendship?

What more could it ever be? If you don't think it's an affair? You're both married and have made commitments and vows to your partners.

This is an emotional affair. The fact that you don't know this or it doesn't bother you so how little you value your own marriage - and his.

Yes I realise that now. I’m going to talk to him on Monday.

No.
Bad idea to 'talk' about it!
Just distance yourself.
Be polite but withdraw.
Let the whole thing dissolve into the nothingness from where it came.

Robin, you are right that is a better idea. I know what I have to do.

Robin has it so right, it’s the best way to deal with it. To talk about it gives it an extra intensity it doesn’t need.