Hi Mum34
I've been reading your posts and just plucked up the courage to reply. I'm in no position whatsoever to give you any advice, I've been on the recieving end of this kind at behaviour in previous relationships myself and I know how degrading it can make you feel. I lost my self respect, my dignity and my confidence when it happened to me. I kept beleiving that these men would change and it must have been something I was doing to make them treat me this way. I was loving, caring, affectionate, loyal, all the things you expect to get in a relationship I gave and kept on giving but to no avail.
I allowed the treatment to continue after the 1st, 2nd, 3rd time, so many times I lost count and still kept going back for more. There were no children involved, we wern't married and I look back now and think how goddamn stupid was I love makes us do the strangiest of things!!
Being flirty is all well and good if no one objects and no one crosses boundaries, obviously taking phone numbers is a total no no and I'm damn sure if the shoe was on the other foot our O/H would have plenty to say about it.
My husband wont shave even though I've suggested it, I did however notice little changes when he was up to no good, bathing more often, general grooming, dressing smarter etc etc. things you dont tend to smack you in the mouth at the time but look so crystal clear when you look back. I think we should listen to our gut feelings more often, mine was spot on but I didn't want to beleive it/ignored it.
I truely hope whatever you decide to do makes you a happier person because we all need to live not just exist.
Take care xx