AM I BEING PARNOID? PLEASE HELP

[mum34]

Hi all
Just want to know if i am being silly just back from hols was good apart from hubby talking to every girl in the place and getting their phone nos and email addressess he also shaved himself on hols is this normal behaviour i might as well have not being there
we have three kids together
any advice please

he is wasting my time when he does things like this obviously not content or wouldnt be doing or looking else where we have been together 16 years he has done other things like joining dating agency but i have never caught him red handed but suppose how much more proof do i need why does he bother staying does he want his cake and eat it

midlife crisis - dickhead - knobhead - w*nker....i could go on. My hubby shaves his unmentionables but always has done (quite like it actually!)....as for getting womens phone numbers, how much more of a hint do you need that your hubby has no respect for you whatsoever.

Mine shaves his too but I know its just for me.

yes your right i have always been 100% faithful to him he never did deserve me

he did his on hols because you either have or havent the previous day he was changing and he hadnt shaved
then next day he spent alot of time in shower then i thought that he was up\to something was right

then i suggest you are 100% faithful to YOURSELF and leave at least with a smidge of dignity and let him have his midlife crisis by himself.

you are all so right i hope and pray for me that i have the balls to do it

if shaving and stuff is not normal for him, then I'm afraid I'd be thinking crabs.

A lot of people think you can get rid of them by shaving.

You can't, btw.

seems to do this when away on hols and wants me to seee a counselor he believes im the one with the problem not him

councellors, generally, as a rule, don't give advice on how to deal with knobhead husbands, BUT they do help you open your eyes to see who you are actually married to and that you can do soooo much better, so maybe he is right, off you toddle, he won't know whats hit him when you file for divorce!

Hi Meeely2

went to see a counsellor listened to me on my own then brought my partner in he didnt like what she had to say all along he believed it was my #jealous head nothing to do with his actions
she said we should go to marriage guidance he declined that offered said they only messed with his head just really whats been happening to my head the last 4 or five years not very nice when someone thinks they are always in the right and you in the wrong

Mum34, go on your own for YOURSELF. I think he has seriously beat your self confidence down, u need to build yourself back up, leave him and let him get on with whatever weird stuff is going on in his head. If he can find a woman that puts up with that behaviour then good luck to him....it doesn't need to be you.

Thanks Meeely2
He had convinced himself he was doing no wrong when it hurts someone and you feelhurt thats a real feeling

He looking to sell house
I wont be moving hes not going intowork 2morrow end up loosing job will then loose house anyway
sometimes think yes sell house then can start away from the area afresh

start afresh but not with him, he's not gonna change just cos he's in a new house. Start talking to CAB about what your options are as regards claiming benefits and getting some housing sorted.

Good luck

2 choices:-

a) you still love him and want it to work. In that case give him a rocket up the backside. Pack him a bag, change the locks and tell him to come back in 2 weeks if he is willing to turn himself around, stop lying, and be a proper father, rather than try to play both happy families AND happy bachelor. If he doesn't come back then the relationship is doomed anyway. Counselling won't do anything unless he wants it to work and at the moment he is living the best of both worlds and it suits him fine as the only cost is a bit of earache from you and nothing else. Raise the stakes if you actually want things to change. In HR there is a seminal article about changing behaviours: If you want behaviour X you need to stop rewarding behaviour Y (which you are currently doing by letting him get away with it)

b) you don't still love him and don't want it to work. Phone a solicitor and discuss your problems.

There is an option (c) called putting up with it but I don't think you want to go there.

Don't know about 10 weeks ago Not so dear H had a one night stand....he did no grooming whatsoever (of himself) but he was manager at a pub

maybe your H is going through a crisis - perhaps he has been having feelings towards other men and needs to convince himself that he is a hot woman magnet???!!!

God don't envy you at all and I would have been going nuts if he had of been doing that as it is I am going nuts - if you can do something before that happen do it otherwaide it is a nightmare to deal with after - good luck and take care of YOU

thank you all for your kind posts
i want to sell house move away from area so i can start afresh
he has always made out that i was the mad one nearly had myself believing it told all his friends and people who knew me to see that i had the problem took time off work to look after me he told them i looked after him all those years he never looked after me he was too selfish he didnt nw how

riss
how do you deal with your husband having a one night stand

What he's doing to you is mental abuse.

He's making you think you are nuts, when really, he is screwing you about.

Of course he either wants to/ or already has shagged about.

Get rid of the loser.

not real well Mum not at all - there are days when it drives me spare but mumsnet users provide support and we are attending a counsellor...things had fallen apart pretty much for months before it happened but that doesn't make it easier.....

we are having many issues related to his infidelity and seeing a counsellor to try and do what we can to save the marriage but I am not ure of the liklihood of success....some MN's say that they have come back better and stronger as a couple - I hope to be able to join them but at this stage I am not sure where we will end up. We have three lovely children and in all honesty would have parted ways before it happened had we not had the children

anyway you take care of you and in all honesty if I could have my time again I would ahve seperated before it happened cause ven if we do come back stronger I can not see myself ever having the same respect for him again

hus and thought with you

i have never caught him with anyone cause hes too clever for that but all the signs are there i said to him he doesnt need to say im mad to get out of the relationship or mess me about
i have the guts to do it now when i think back all the things he done there must have been somehting not rightbuthe could have told me

you do what you need too cause your children will need their mum healthy and happy...if you ar ready do so if not take you time and do things (whatever they may be ) when you are ready

feel so stupid and what a fool i have been for so long

my gut feeling was there i could never get rid of it