@Lostgirl90
I am so sorry to hear that.
I posted them as I was quite convinced you would say yes
Before finishing my post to you, I googled signs of an emotionally abusive relationship. Those questions are from there.
Be strong, be brave and care about yourself. Happiness is the most imporant thing over everything. This will get worse and worse and worse.
If this was your mum, your sister, your friend, your daughter...anyone... I bet you'd make them leave. You've got to do it
In a few years time, or even less, you will talk about this with friends and family about warning signs and being so glad you got out
I had a slightly similar situation actually, and I didn't act. I thought it was nothing and didnt want to make a scene.
It was with a guy who had fancied me for years, he lied about his friend not being able to make their holiday and invited me along. I said yes.
During the holiday he was "playfully" forceful with me. I wanted to go as friends but ended up semi naked on the bed. I didn't want it but felt compromised.
I brushed it off and kept seeing him a little. We had sex, instigated by him which I wasn't so into actually and didn't enjoy. It was all for him. Again, I brushed it off.
I can't remember all the details but as time went on I distanced myself from him, I couldn't ignore some signs and started to feel down and wanted to seperate myself from him. He wanted to get into a relationship and I didn't. I didn't want that for myself.
He and his friend missed the last train and asked to stay at mine, I think some weeks had passed. I had housemates so said living room only and leave before they get up. This was wrong and disrespectful to them. He came into my bedroom to use the en-suite and refused to sleep in the living room. I couldn't get him out without causing a scene, by this point it must have been 12-1am.
After this, he wouldn't leave. I asked and I asked and I asked. He refused. He even quit his job so he could stay.
When I went out the house, he'd either come or stay home. If he needed to leave, he wouldn't unless I came - I often refused. He knew i'd lock the door and never speak to him again
Whilst he was staying in my room, he forced me to masturbate him. I turned my body away, didn't look at him, whilst he grabbed my hand and forced the movements.
One of the main reasons I put up with it is because my housemates were also female and in their early 20s at the time and I didn't want to alarm them. I think if I lived alone i'd have tried with more force.
Looking back, if I'd let it go as far as him refusing to leave I should have called the police immediately.
However, ideally, after our holiday I should have said no. I knew the signs and ignored them.
I got out. If i'd stayed it would have got worse. He would have become obsessive, controlling and beat me down so I became a slave to his control.
Do you know, it been many many years and he still contacts me. I never respond.
I recently shared the story with my sister, in hopes that she will never be a victim and never brush off little things that are actually a big deal.
You are in the same shoes as me, you recognise it, your gut says no, you don't feel as strong and able. You know if this carries on it will get worse.
End this safely, be firm, be assertive, he does not control you, you do not let him do this. You are in control of your own mind, your own body and your own life and your own happiness.
Come on girl, this is the end now.