Today my best friends dh asked me out..

[AppleSquash]

Do I tell her? Obvs I rebuffed him pretty cleanly. She's been talking to me about possible divorce for a while & is 'circling-the-drain' so to speak - trying to make things work out, get him to go to counselling etc, although with not much luck. I don't want to be piggy in the middle of their situation. My thought is to keep schtum. Wwyd?

I should have added I was at the sheer audacity of it.

It’s your best friend surely you must tell her ?

Tell her op. I was in your shoes and bottled it. Stepped back from her instead. Felt shitty that she kept a twat.

Neighbour or friend of a friend I might keep quiet. But you have to tell your best friend, awful as it may be.

The usual mn advice on couples having affairs or other halves playing around is to keep your nose out..

Of course tell her, otherwise you and her husband are colluding together to keep a secret from her. And all the while she's confiding in you about her relationship and her deepest thoughts and feelings. That's not right. Give her the information so she can come to an informed decision about her arse of a husband.

No, the usual MN advice is generally split fairly evenly between tell and not tell.

It's important information for your bf that her dh isn't actually trying to make it work and is cracking on to her friends - doesn't she deserve better than that.

I was in a similar situation and decided to tell my friend, it was important information for her given what was going on. Her DH was furious at me but he was an arse for doing it anyway.

Definately tell her. Imagine if she found out you hadn't told her but found out elsewhere, then you would be the bad one.

What did you say to him? That's definitely the CF of the day for me.

Depends how much you care about her.

If you care about her and her life, tell her. If you’re not that bothered, don’t say anything and enjoy the peace of not being involved.

My exH came onto a close friend. I was so relieved she'd told me... my marriage was in trouble but it was the final kick I needed to end it. He was obviously furious, and never spoke to her again, which was fine by her! I'd definitely tell a friend if it happened to me.

Oh my, I would certainly tell her. He obviously has no interest in trying to sort his marriage out and maybe this will be the push your best friend needs.

Would you want her to tell you if it was her your dp/dh had asked out?
I’d want to know.

Definitely tell her, friends have responsibilities and you have to expose that man for what he's done

You should definitely tell her but be prepared for the fact that he will probably deny it.

How did he have the audacity to ask his wife's best friend out?? Bloody hell, CF. Did he (massively) misread a situation, want it to get back to her or just not give a shit whether she found out or not?

Tell her.

Worst case you tell her and she doesn't believe you and the friendship is ruined. But if you don't tell her can you carry on as normal anyway? Unlikely.

You should tell her and hope she doesn't shoot the messenger otherwise you are allowing him to make a fool of her and I could not to that.

I would tell a close friend, otherwise whats the point of being friends if you cant be honest, although it will require much tact and sensitivity. It might actually clarify things for her

christ what an awful situation OP. Best wishes in whatever you decide to do, it's not an easy one

A friend of mine told me that she had see. the guy I had couple of dates with someone else. We all were in one circle of friends. Years later I thanked her for that and told her I am blessed to have a friend like her.
I would want to know if I would be your friend. Very best of luck here 🌹

The advice on MN about 'don't tell' is usually when you have heard a rumour that the DH (or DW) is playing away but are not directly involved. He asked you out, that's a different story.

I would tell her. It may be just the push she needs to actually LTB

I would tell her. She needs to know.