I have found the perfect girl but she has a boyfriend - help

[Alexander1993]

I met a girl on Thursday at an event. I saw her looking at me and eventually I got talking to her. Asked her for a business card but she didn't have any so she gave me her number instead. She's new to my city so I said I would show her round. She asked me to go for a drink with her after the event and we did. We then arranged to do something together on Saturday (yesterday).

Saturday came and we met for drinks at 7pm. We had dinner in a fancy restaurant then went for a romantic walk then got more drinks at a bar. Our date ended at 1:30am.

We have the exact same sense of life and she's amazing and I think she really likes me too: she is so complimentary (compliments my appearance, intellect, self-esteem, ideas etc) and I have noticed that she often looks at my body.

However she mentioned that she has a boyfriend who she has been with for two years (he does not live in the same country as she and I) but described the past two years of her life as "chaotic" as she has been travelling the world and they don't always see each other.

She wants to do loads of different things with me - more restaurants, go to events together, for me to show her different things etc. The chemistry between us is unbelievable.

If she hadn't told me that she had a boyfriend, which confused me, I would have kissed her on our date. I didn't. I am seeing her tomorrow evening as I said I would take her along to an event and dinner I am going to.

What do you think is going on in her head? I will be asking her tomorrow evening as I am not going to waste my energy thinking about it nor will I allow myself to fall for someone who I won't end up with.

I must stress just how amazing our chemistry is -- especially intellectual. We have the exact same sense of life. I have been looking for this for so long. Could it be that she has a comfortable relationship with someone but she has found someone who is her ideal (i.e. me)? She may be my ideal.

I was very surprised when she told me she had a boyfriend. She also said that, when commenting on a conversation we were having, that her boyfriend would love the topic but that she is "glad he is not here". I of course would not want to partake in any cheating at all.

Any advice/comments are most welcome!

I’m completely intrigued as to what a ‘sense of life’ means. You’ve mentioned it 3 times but I still can’t really work out what it is you share exactly?

Your bar seems to be set quite low. Your ideal woman is someone who is willing to cheat on her boyfriend with a man she just met and barely knows? I think most people look for a partner with a working moral compass.

PregnantOnPurpose you sound triggered.

She's new to my city so I said I would show her round

I would assume, being as she has mentioned her boyfriend, that she has no romantic intentions but is just happy to have a friend to show her around and spend time with. It would be a very long weekend with no company at all just waiting for the working week to start.

She wants to do loads of different things with me - more restaurants, go to events together, for me to show her different things etc. The chemistry between us is unbelievable.

Or maybe the chemistry is all in your head?

Alexander you sound juvenile

I am.

You've met a girl who has told you she has a boyfriend and has made no advance towards you.

Why would you want advice on how to try and get the girl with a boyfriend?

It will never register with me why people want to home wreck.

That poor boyfriend in another country gave all his trust when they went long distance, for that to be shit on by you.

Find a great connection with someone who isn't already connected.

Sometimes you meet someone who is better suited for you when you are settling for your comfortable relationship. There's nothing wrong with it, providing you deal with the situation appropriately.

You're not dealing with it appropriately. Shes in a relationship. You hardly know her. She hasn't made any advance to you. Why do you think you're in with a chance?

You literally sound like a movie worthy stalking psychopath.

She just called me to say that she has broken up with her boyfriend as they had been "having issues" for a while. I guess that's that, then.

Keep out of someone else's relationship. She's not perfect, you've only just met her. You sound a bit naive. If she just drops him for you what do you think of that? Don't think that might happen to you one day?

Oh that old chestnut. Come on.

Really? Because last time you got stressed a girl hadn't text you back and then she coincidentally text you after you didn't get the response you wanted on a thread.

Yeah ok Alex.. you think that.

Or dont lie.

I've just read some of your previous posts. You get way too iverinvested way too quickly.

Leave her alone. Your weird.

'Nothing wrong with'

Good luck for the future when she meets someone else and gets on well with them. Then she can say she is having issues with you and drop you like a hot potato. Lol.

Lol what are you talking about? What a number of weirdos many of you are. I should stick to talking to men. Happy triggering.

I'm actually concerned for her safety.

I feel like your the type of person to endnuk in the news for keeping a girl in a cage for 10 years convinced you're in a happy loving relationship.

Get help.

Who the hell talks like this? Are you quoting out the manual of how to sound like an obsessive nutter?
Hope she runs, fast.

I'm in stitches. Sending this to my girlfriends.

I hope his makes it to mumsnet madness on Twitter

Boring Sunday Alex?

What was the last thread? 🤔

It's ok.

He'll be back with another love at first site.

He'll probably meet the next one at the physc award he should be admitted to.

You talk like you were born in 2003 not 1993...weirdo!

The next one will be about a woman on the bus that looked his way being his soulmate.

*He'll be back with another love at first site
*
Was that a deliberate typo ?

I'd also like to know exactly what the shared 'sense of life' means and how you can know it in 3 days.

Woah everyone! This woman has been called a tramp and a cheater when, for all we've been told, she just thinks she's met a new friend. For all we know she had a great chat with her boyfriend about this new friend she's made and specified that he's male.

OP you need to decide whether the friendship or a relationship with this woman is more important. If it is the former then change your behaviour and accept the friendship for what it is. If the latter then let her know your feelings and give her space to think.

I was in a long distance relationship for a few years and had plenty of male friends.