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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This one isn’t on me, is it?

52 replies

AndTheSeaRollsOn · 02/06/2019 13:52

My DH has wasted his nearly £70k inheritance on nothing. I can account for £5k on a new car, £600 on furniture and £3k on his running trips. Everything else has gone. And now that I know it’s gone, he’s blaming me.

I’m self employed. My day rate is £240 - only a bit less than he earns in a week. However, he won’t pick up any of the slack because he ‘goes’ to work and I’m at home, so I’ve been limited to maybe two, three if I’m lucky, half days a week because he won’t collect DD from CM.

We should though, have had more than enough. All debt is in my name so my earnings have covered 50% of household outgoings and the debts. He didn’t need to keep topping his account up every time he got close to being overdrawn. I literally cannot fathom his logic or why he didn’t just say, let’s clear all debts and level our account balances?

At the end of the day, it’s his inheritance to spend how he sees fit. But I’m not wrong to tell him that he has no right to be angry with me because it’s all gone?

He refused to pay off the mortgage because he thought I was trying to trick him so I could divorce him and get it. I thought it was just sitting there while he decided what to do with it.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 04/06/2019 13:29

FIL also offered to clear our debts - well they aren't just your debts.
They are mainly those of HIS son.
I'd bite his hand off.
You could get a clean slate - ready to leave!!!!!

eddielizzard · 04/06/2019 13:33

He sounds absolutely unsupportive and actively views you as 'the enemy'. His FIL sounds fab though. As for squirrelling money away from you, to his mum, that's just revolting. Why won't he step up so you can work? I bet he feels insecure you're the higher earner. He doesn't like it one bit. He likes to keep you in your place, and all his poor decisions are your fault.

I struggle to see beyond this tbh. What hope is there? You are clearly able to support yourself should you want to. What's keeping you there?

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