Would you have paid?

[Longflight]

Ive been with my OH 13 years, married for 7. My OH recently lent me his vehicle as mine was in the garage. There was about £20 fuel in it when I borrowed it and so on the way home i called to the fuel station to fill it up. However i got out of the car and realised the fuel tank was the opposite side to mine. I had cars behind me and the pumps the other side were fully occupied, so I left without filling up and explained to my OH when I got home and said I would give him the money when I go to the bank.

Tonight my OH had a go at me because I hadnt got around to giving him the money. I went and got it for him, but I feel a bit annoyed because my car is always used for our food shopping, holidays, general running about, visiting his family, taking his family to medical appointments etc and theres no money towards the fuel for my car.

Would anyone else feel annoyed? Would you have paid?

I would probably have laughed at him tbh.

He’s asking you to pay for the fuel you used while driving his car? Do you split your food bill by how much each of you eat? Sounds unbelievably petty.
By the way you should be able to pull the hose to the other side of the car to fill up (unless your (his) car is huge.

Straight up couldn't live like that.

LTB

You’re married, how the fuck can either of you owe the other money? I find it weird, would he get a debt collected onto you if it was a big debt? It’s absurd. Tell him to jog on.

I agree with @aPengTing. Very, very bizarre behaviour.

Extremely petty!

Together 13 years and he's never paid? Start protecting your assets.

Is he not just a bit annoyed you didn’t get petrol? I hate that more than anything, when my kids or my partner has used my car, it isn’t about the money, just the inconvenience. Could it have been that? It is a bit weird you would drive off without getting petrol really.

Wouldn't have been a Q tbh

It would annoy me if OH had used all the fuel and not bothered to top it back up but it’s a bit weird him asking directly for £20

Nope. And he would never have asked me for the money either. How do you normally divide your finances?

Wtf! He’s being ridiculous. Do you start charging him half of your cars fuel when you go shopping etc.

That's as tight as it gets really. I simply can't imagine either my husband or I asking for petrol money for using the others car.

Something is very wrong in your relationship. There is separate finances and then there is this.

Wow 13 years and it comes to this! Makes me feel better about my own relationship travails

It’s petty, very petty but in the interest of balance you should have likely understood which side of the car the petrol cap is on, waited for a pump to become free or given him the money if you said you would.

In the absence of me having a firm grasp of my left and rights and returning a car with little or no fuel I would have simply suggested my DP gets over it, there are worse things happening in the world. You suggesting you would pay him and subsequently not has simply served to let him down twice as opposed to once

I'd have just pulled the pump to the other side of the car.

I get really annoyed when my partner uses my car and doesn't refuel it as it inconveniences me. I feel the same about him not putting the seat back how it was.

I couldn't imagine any situation where I'd be chasing £20 though. Are you sure he isn't expressing frustration at having to refuel himself?

I’m currently a SAHM and this would annoy me as I budget quite tightly so that I don’t spend over a certain amount each month. So I guess it depends a bit on the finances! My DH would transfer me the cash straight away in this situation.

All money is ‘our’ money - I just like only having a bit in my current account so I don’t go too wild!

Depends how often you use it. A one-off, it’s a bit petty, especially if you both share finances otherwise equitably. If it’s regularly, yes, it’s the right thing to do unless costs of your shared car use even out.

If I drove my dh’s car, I wouldn’t compensate for fuel as my car is the one we use for family use. But my dh does periodically put fuel in my car because he uses it several times a week and we use it for all long trips. If he said he would, I’d expect he would. I probably wouldn’t badger him for it though.

He shouldn't be asking for money but it is annoying when someone uses your car and doesn't fill up with petrol. Why didn't you just pull the pump round the back of the car?

There is more than likely a little arrow on the fuel gauge on the instrument binnacle, the arrow points to the side of the car the fuel tank is on.

Not that this relates to this thread really, but a useless bit of information for a Sunday morning

How can you owe your husband money? Surely it's all one combined amount, what a bizarre issue.

Tbh I find most of this bizarre.

I know families work in many different ways and what works for one wouldn't work for the other. We have one pot and couldn't ever imagine living a life where we need d to work out whom owes whom for what.

If however you both have spends accounts that includes your own petrol, yes it would be right to transfer across some of that if you haven't used it on your car and instead have dipped into husband's. However, unless one of you regularly drives across the country for this own specific hobby, why is petrol not just considered a shared bill?

I couldn't live like this at all. Where's the partnership? I would start getting super petty by counting the number of biscuits and beers he consumed against mine and would have a spreadsheet set up on electric use per resident (it's like Blackpool illuminations here when I get home from work!)

*their specific hobby

Just as an aside, the petrol pump sign on your dashboard tells you what side the fuel cap is (there's an arrow), not helpful in this situ I know!

We have two cars , we share them and share the cost .. he is weird !!

Does he monitor all family costs this much?