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Original poster

Would you have paid?

42 replies

Longflight · 02/06/2019 00:35

Ive been with my OH 13 years, married for 7. My OH recently lent me his vehicle as mine was in the garage. There was about £20 fuel in it when I borrowed it and so on the way home i called to the fuel station to fill it up. However i got out of the car and realised the fuel tank was the opposite side to mine. I had cars behind me and the pumps the other side were fully occupied, so I left without filling up and explained to my OH when I got home and said I would give him the money when I go to the bank.

Tonight my OH had a go at me because I hadnt got around to giving him the money. I went and got it for him, but I feel a bit annoyed because my car is always used for our food shopping, holidays, general running about, visiting his family, taking his family to medical appointments etc and theres no money towards the fuel for my car.

Would anyone else feel annoyed? Would you have paid?

OP posts:

SunshineCake · 02/06/2019 07:54

No. My dh often gives me money for parking etc if I'm going somewhere and have no change. Even though I know he has very little personal money after bills and housekeeping, he'd never ask for or take it back

MelanieCheeks · 02/06/2019 07:59

The petrol pump arrow is on the wrong side in my car, so that isn't always reliable.

flowery · 02/06/2019 08:04

I could understand why he might be irritated because you didn’t fill it up, but I don’t understand how you can owe your own husband money.

MysweetAudrina · 02/06/2019 08:30

If my dh took my car to visit his family and I had just filled it. I would remind him to refill it after. I would be pissed to have to refill it twice I one pay cycle as I have nicer things to be spending my money on that fuel for the car. He did once full my the diesel car with petrol and had to get it drained.

scratchbass · 02/06/2019 08:31

You know the hose is designed to reach round the other side too? Unless it's some kind of tank or you stopped the car too far away...

BogglesGoggles · 02/06/2019 08:33

It wouldn’t have even occurred to me to offer the money. It’s a bit annoying that you didn’t refuel it but I assume you didn’t leave it completely empty.

BogglesGoggles · 02/06/2019 08:33

@scratchbass most of them aren’t.

LizzieSiddal · 02/06/2019 08:37

Is he mean generally? Does he control the money in your household?

Needsomebottle · 02/06/2019 08:37

Against the norm here but we would do this and remind the other to transfer the money. But we're both always short of money and £20 goes a long way. Though in fairness either one of us would be more irritated by having to actually go and fill up as we both despise the task for some reason!

Holdthedamndoor · 02/06/2019 08:44

I would be more annoyed at having to go fill it up. Rather than the money.

Original poster

Longflight · 02/06/2019 08:53

The hose would not stretch around, it a double cab with extended boot, flap in middle of vehicle. No arrow on dash board. It was just a one off using his vehicle, i dont really like using it as its so big.

I guess it is annoying to have to refuel, but tbh the amount of times ive had to refuel to run and do our shopping, visit the in-laws in hospital etc, i wouldnt have thought refueling because ive not managed to as a one off would be such a problem, so i think it is petty but not sure how to make him realise that.

OP posts:

Clutterbugsmum · 02/06/2019 08:55

I'd tot up how many times I'd taken his family to appointments, roughly half of the cost of fuel used in my car for joint family things and then give him the total less then the £20 he demanding and perhaps it will show him how petty he is being. If not then I think I would be less available to run around his family. Make him pay up front for fuel used for family things.

I can't bare people who are takers.

Newyearnewme2019 · 02/06/2019 08:56

so i think it is petty but not sure how to make him realise that.

Tell him to stop being an arse and get over it - end off and ignore

Petalflowers · 02/06/2019 08:59

I can understand if he was annoyed because the tank was empty.

However, to demand the money, wtf! When ever you use the car for his or family errands, start charging him Uber prices!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/06/2019 09:00

He can be annoyed he has to fill up the car- but the money side of it is petty!!!

Rosielily · 02/06/2019 12:48

What's he like otherwise re your finances?

Original poster

Longflight · 02/06/2019 13:31

I like your suggestion **clutterbugsmum. I may add in the mortgage and utility bills I paid for our home for 3 years whilst he wastnt working.... then he will hopefully realise how wrong/ petty he was to ask for £20. Especially as he is working now and has just received an inheritance, so really doesnt need the £20.

I think you are right, if it doesnt make him see sence, i need to ask that he or his family contribute towards fuel. Feel a bit like im not bring treated fairly tbh.

OP posts:

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