So my sex drive is low and has been for some time. Since the early part of this year I have been ill with constant dizziness and sickness which is going to be a long road to recovery.
My partner went through a phase of being really pushy about sex but I stuck to my guns of no when I didn’t feel well / like it. In the past I have gone along with it just to avoid causing a problem but then I feel terrible afterwards and sometimes in tears.
He’s been less pushy recently but still fairly persistent. Last night he tried to initiate and I said not tonight perhaps tomorrow, he wasn’t overly happy but seemed to except it.
So I fall asleep, only to be woken up to him touching me and himself. He then disappears, comes back and I asked him why, he’s finished himself off in the bathroom.
I was and still am absolutely livid and hurt.
I said no not now but he disrespected me anyway. What has really got me was this comment ‘I didn’t think I’d wake you up’
What the actual ... !
So he thinks it’s ok to use me as a sex object for his pleasure even when he had no consent and I’d said NO!
I sent him to the spare room. I sobbed my heart out to the point of nearly being sick, no sleep and shattered, I could barely speak to him this morning. Even typing this I feel hurt, tearful and shaky.
I don’t know how to move forward, what to do or think about this.