Has anyone successfully reconciled themselves to life with a functional alcoholic?

[DustyAndConfused]

Just that, really.

Husband is great, smart, funny, good dad, good at making money (although he works for the family firm) - but he drinks far too much.

I've been all around the town on this for 15 years now. He's quite good when he's on a health kick (as he is now) but normally he will drink 1.5 -2.0 bottles of wine 2 or 3 times a week and frequently is still drunk in the morning after these nights.

He's definitely a binary drinker, i.e. he's all in or all out.

I've noticed he gravitates towards friends who are big drinkers.

Can anyone give me some advice? I don't intend on leaving him, we have an otherwise good marriage, but I need some coping mechanisms because I am constantly frustrated.

He'll be functional until he is not. Alcohol effects children in ways parents don't see. They are either too drunk, too hungover or too busy planning drinking. The emotional effect isn't obvious at all but it's happening.

I know several friends who's parent was an alcoholic -all have very similar issues with intimate relationships as adults. Being constantly pissed interferes with binding. You feel it and your children will too.

I think that “they are functioning until they are not” might need expanding on. Rarely is there a clean swift conclusion. More a steady deterioration in mental health, mood, cognition, behaviour which are more challenging than the accumulation of chronic illnesses to manage in physical decline which can leave you as a carer for decades.

It's a hard nit to crack