Excellent post “justwhoiam”. I was married to a habitual liar and I ended up hating him. There was no point in having even the most trivial conversation with him about something mundane at work, because you knew it was probably a load of nonsense anyway.
This destroyed my love for him as much as the affair he had. Even when I discovered that he had given this woman A LOT of money from our joint savings account and spend nights in a hotel with her, he kept insisting “ just but you can’t PROVE it was sexual, we were just friends”.
He had no idea about how reasonable rational people think. It’s like all his life was a court case where the case against him had to be proved. So unless I could prove that he has sex with her ( video footage I assume ? ) he was innocent and I was a paranoid nutter.
He’s very lucky he didn’t get fired from work, as he arranged for her to get a huge pay rise and big bonus by faking her sales figures.
Even now, four years after we split, I can’t trust him on anything.
He can’t deal with any issues with the children. One of the children was in trouble at school for not doing homework and for some random reason they wrote to him and not me. He agreed with our child just to ignore it ( to make himself seem like Nice Dad to lazy teenager, unlike Evil Bitch Mum ) .
Child then got put down a class and can’t sit a GCSE in that subject. Ex doesn’t care about that of course . Ex then looked like a complete idiot at parents evening when the teacher raised it and I knew nothing about it. Ex kept saying “ I forgot “ . Teachers know a liar when they see one.
He’s now secretly giving that one child hundreds of pounds to bribe him to do well in that subject , so that ex doesn’t look bad. Of course child has told his three siblings, who are angry at the unfairness ( they are hardworking and studious and don’t get paid a penny ).
Ex made several key staff leave at his work, because he lied repeatedly to them that he would get them a pay rise and promotion. He didn’t have the power to do this anymore ( after last fiasco ) and after a year of waiting for this, they left on bad terms.
Ex has no friends because of his selfishness and dishonesty . He pisses off tradespeople because he treats them so badly, they won’t work for him anymore.
He pissed off our neighbours, because he promised them for months to pay for some work we jointly had done on a boundary wall. He had the money to pay them, he just CBA. By the time I found out about they were furious and now it’s me who has to live next door to people who won’t speak to me.
He lies to clients at work saying that he’s late with work because a close relative is seriously ill, which is not true. It was true some years ago but they relative has now died, but he didn’t tell anyone at work because it was the end of a good excuse. BTW he never actually edin anything for this relative anyway, his sisters did it all .
He will promise anything or say anything to make himself look good in the moment, with no concern as how he can deliver on it or what effect it might have on the people closest to him. His life is totally controlled by what random people think of him and he will say anything to impress them.
In contrast, he doesn’t give a flying fuck what he does to his kids or me ( when we were still together ).
Liars are impossible to have any kind of relationship with. It’s like being with an alcoholic - they already have a primary relationship which always takes precedence.
Liars are in love with this fantasy of themselves and keeping up their ( self and public ) image at all costs.