Is this a red flag and I should run for the hills?

[Sharkirasharkira]

Met a guy OLD.

Had a date, went really well, slept together at the end of the night which I don't normally do but I liked him and was horny I thought he felt the same.

We've been messaging since then but not a huge amount. Couple of messages per day perhaps.

He messages me today, saying hello etc general chat. Then starts asking if I've been going on other dates, if I've done anything sexual with them. I say I have been on one and he gets really upset, saying it's like I've cheated, he finds it hard to trust me now and so on.

We've been on ONE DATE! We've only seen each other in person ONCE! We've never had a conversation about being exclusive or coming off OLD or anything, is he being U and over the top about this or am I just being a heartless bitch?

Not really used to OLD but I did say I wasn't quite ready to commit yet after a string of bad and abusive relationships and he didn't seem to care just kept going on about how he had been hurt too and it's changed how he feels about me.

Is this his way of breaking it off? By making me out to be the bad guy? All sort of alarm bells are ringing at this point.

Yes alarm bells should be ringing. You've slept with him once and not promised him anything. OLD is dating several people until you meet the right one, that's just how it works (for most).

Seriously, he shouldn't even be asking you these questions because ITS NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.

I wouldn't even respond anymore and just block him.

I never understood this seeing multiple people thing myself and would not like to have a partner who did. So I understand his point of view on that albeit he seems a bit melodramatic and out about it. However you don’t have the same views so either way you don’t seem compatible so perhaps should just move on and dismiss it.

I'd say 'Well your response has changed how I feel about you. We went on one date and this is way too needy for me so lets just leave it there. Good luck with future dating!'
Job done!

Personally I think he just wants to end it without being the bad guy. Sorry

I think he’s being spineless. He is not interested In you but, hasn’t got the balls to say it

I don't want to sleep with multiple people at a time, but I think until you've established that you are in a relationship and exclusive it's fair enough to go on dates with more than one. Once you've made a commitment to someone it's different but I haven't done that or even gotten close!

It has changed how I see him tbh. If he's this jealous and borderline controlled and we aren't even together yet what will he be like further down the road? I don't feel like I should have to justify myself to him at this stage.

He's on holiday at the moment so it did occur to me that maybe he wants to be 'free' to sleep with other people and this is his way of justifying it? Maybe I'm just being cynical!

He's so upset supposedly yet still asking for nudes Confusing.

I don't want to sleep with multiple people at a time, but I think until you've established that you are in a relationship and exclusive it's fair enough to go on dates with more than one. Once you've made a commitment to someone it's different but I haven't done that or even gotten close!

It has changed how I see him tbh. If he's this jealous and borderline controlled and we aren't even together yet what will he be like further down the road? I don't feel like I should have to justify myself to him at this stage.

He's on holiday at the moment so it did occur to me that maybe he wants to be 'free' to sleep with other people and this is his way of justifying it? Maybe I'm just being cynical!

He's so upset supposedly yet still asking for nudes Confusing.

I don't want to sleep with multiple people at a time, but I think until you've established that you are in a relationship and exclusive it's fair enough to go on dates with more than one. Once you've made a commitment to someone it's different but I haven't done that or even gotten close!

It has changed how I see him tbh. If he's this jealous and borderline controlled and we aren't even together yet what will he be like further down the road? I don't feel like I should have to justify myself to him at this stage.

He's on holiday at the moment so it did occur to me that maybe he wants to be 'free' to sleep with other people and this is his way of justifying it? Maybe I'm just being cynical!

He's so upset supposedly yet still asking for nudes Confusing.

Pfft tell him to mind his business. Has he been so forthcoming of his own PRIVATE life ??? Nothing wrong with abit of healthy competition 😉 xx

Please don't ever ever ever send nude pics of yourself over the world wide web to a stranger!!!
That there is another massive big fat red flag.
Yeuk!!!!

RUN RUN RUN!!!

He's a control freak after ONE DATE.

And asking for nudes? Just ew. Don't do this. God knows where they would end up.

There is nothing confusing. Don't send a controlling man naked compromising pictures. He will use them against you.

Oh I wasn't going to! I was just confused that he was asking given only minutes before he was going on about how he wasn't sure he liked me anymore!

Run. And never email anyone pictures of yourself that you wouldn’t send your mother.

You've been ONE DATE!

Fuck him off OP

He's so upset supposedly yet still asking for nudes

Why on earth don't you have the courage of your convictions enough to say no nudes for you, goodbye and block?

Come on OP surely you deserve better than this.

Omg do not see him again! What a dick

Also if he's on holiday with mates and asking for nudes I wouldn't be surprised if he's showing them to his mates.

Glad to hear you aren't gonna send him any pictures. Entitled prick! But are you going to end it? I hope you do

He's on holiday with his family but I still don't want to send him nudes, I don't know him that well and he could show anyone! Also he's been a prick and I don't want to show him pics of me naked.

Yes I do plan to end it, citing the reason that he is already jealous and possessive after ONE date! It's too much for me and I will tell him that

Be warned OP he'll try to talk you down if you give a reason so that he isn't rejected.

I'd just say you've realised you don't want to date anyone right now.

How long ago was the date? Did he plan another date afterwards? If I went out with someone on Friday night and arranged to meet on Sunday night, I'd be annoyed if they slept with someone on the Saturday night. If you just had one date and a bit of desultory texting, then I wouldn't be that interested in seeing him - I'd want someone to show a bit of passion and interest.

As for the photos, that would be enough to block him. "I'm so upset, you're a bitch, now send me a naked photo..." Tosser.

Don't end it, just block him.

@HollowTalk yeah I know what you mean but we were both quite busy so hadn't made any further plans - I actually tried to meet up with him about a week later and he gave a crappy excuse about not having enough petrol

Date was a couple weeks ago and tbh I didn't think he was that interested as he didn't make much effort to contact me and turned me down for another meeting!

If he wants nudes send him this

OK, you'd had one date and he'd declined the offer of another, so you went out with someone else and now he feels betrayed? Eh what? Exactly how long were you supposed to hang around waiting for him to let you know whether he was interested in seeing you again?

I never understood this seeing multiple people thing myself and would not like to have a partner who did Well I wouldn't either, but she isn't his partner

@iklboo Haha! That made my day