Just applied for non molestation order. Shaking.

[bellamorella]

Just applied for a NMO against my EA ex.

I'm so scared. He's going to be so angry. I'm scared the judge will think emotional abuse isn't as serious as physical. I feel sick to my stomach and don't know if I regret making the application as I'm scared it'll be laughed away.

Can anyone reassure me?

I'm sat here in tears trying to pull myself together

I understand your lack of faith in the courts OP, I really do but it's worth remembering that we likely only hear about when things go wrong, there are probably countless cases where the courts get everything right but we're less likely to hear about those.

I have no experience of online application for non mol but am available for handholding and will be wishing you well and hoping it's granted and things start to improve for you

Thanks everyone. Maybe I need to read about some positive court experiences! I'm really nervous

Sat here today in the dark with no idea when the courts will get back to me. They aren't answering the phone. Anyone know how long it takes?

I do t have any answers about the courts, but you are doing brilliantly op. Do you have any support?

Thanks @weleasewoderick22 - I'm not sure what I'm doing to be honest! I have lots of support from my parents and women's aid have been amazing.

It was granted there and then, he didn't even have to be present as every evidence was tendered. I was physically in the family court, didn't apply online. I just downloaded the form, filled it in and went in, told them it was an emergency. I waited until around 2pm then was seen and the judge just ruled it in my favour, but asked me not to serve him myself. So I paid for it to be served to him by hand.

How long did it take for it to be served to him, @MumsyJ?

I remember your other thread OP, about your LOs hospital appointment.

I can't see any Judge thinking much of that behaviour.

I think cancelling a cardiology appointment is considered to be a potentially life-threatening risk to your son’s health. Pretty sure a judge isn’t going to look too kindly at that kind of shit!

Oh OP I’m right behind you, and in a similar position. Hang in there.

@TougheningUp sorry for the late response. So I called the process server company, paid for the service, sent the order to them, once they received payment, they went straight to the address to deliver the order to him by hand.

They usually have 3 delivery attempts but thankfully, it took just one attempt to serve the idiot back then.

@bellamorella I hope you're ok. Please ring the courts, they will understand the urgency and probably advise you go into the courts.

Don't let that man get away with this awful and completely evil behaviour.

Thinking of you and DC x

You're so brave @bellamorella stand your ground, keep going and focus on a better life for you and DS. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, cancelling a child's cardiology appointment is one of the worst things I've ever read on here. Thank god he has a lovely mummy

Apparently my application is with the listing team. Not sure what that means... hopefully will be dealt with sooner rather than later.

Well done @bellamorella that's such a big step! Are you feeling any better about things now the wheels are in motion? Hope so

@ThatCurlyGirl not really. I have this ridiculous awful fear of not being taken seriously. The courts throwing it out. Him making up lies about me or getting away with everything by denying it. The fact he cancelled my son's appointment us deplorable, but I feel like a judge hears worse all the time. They'll just roll their eyes. I'm creating an awful biased situation that hopefully is all in my head.

Thanks for your support.

the example of him cancelling the appointment to get one over on you & didn't tell to you about it, is unspeakable, I am sure the court/judge ? will see this with disgust.

Sending kind and positive thoughts

I hope so @Mix56 - even I was shocked by it. He is so precious, the idea of anything happening to him makes me feel physically sick.

There's a list for cases to come up in court.

You'll usually be listed for morning or afternoon on a given day.

Might be different where I'm from, but the police told me to go to the court clerks office. So I went to the court, asked where the court clerk's office was and it was about a 5 minute walk away in a different building.
I was pretty hysterical but the clerk was calm with me.
She filled out the paperwork and said get back to the court before 3pm, find an office of the court, hand this to them and say you need a hearing today.

I did that, and as far as I recall they gave a 5 day non-mol order until papers could be served on him and a date listed. All that was done. I then hired a barrister (friend of the family who did it for 50 quid - as he was junior and didn't know anything about family courts), so had to go back on day 5 (with ex having been issued with an invitation to the proceedings).

Ex didn't show up to dispute it. Barrister granted it for 5 years.

The court is heard in private. My Dad came with me and there was me and the barrister (I wouldn't have needed him in hindsight, though he was cheap and I didn't know if ex would turn up).

Judge asked my barrister why my father was there and he explained that he was there to support me. As ex hadn't turned up, judge let it go, but it's usually only you and your rep and possibly your ex and his legal rep.

It's an empty court room.

Thanks @rainbowruthie x

The only thing I had to do was swear or something that the facts I'd outlined in my application were the truth. I didn't have to speak apart from that and to give name and address or something.
It might have been different if ex had showed up.

@Intothe that's incredibly helpful, thank you. 5 years, that's a long time for a non mol from what I've heard. I hope things are better for you now x

Judge granted it for 5 years, NOT Barrister granted if for 5 years.

I had been in court the previous week with charges against my ex for battery. I was very bruised (packed court-room) and the judge asked, is the girlfriend/complainant present? Can't remember what word he used. I was standing in the crowd inside the court doors and stuck my hand up and he could see my face was black and blue. Ex was remanded in custody for 2 or 3 nights as he couldn't make bail of £500.

On the day of the application the judge said to me 'I've seen you before' - this was the day there was me, the barrister and my Dad in the court - I said 'Yes, I was in your court last Tuesday in X town where you remanded my X in custody'.

He asked the barrister how many years do you want the application to be for? Barrister looked at me and I looked at him as if to say 'haven't a fucking clue' so the judge goes '5 years? We both nodded and he just said granted'.

I thought the maximum term was 1 year?