Did you continue to see your ex after breaking up?

[Wadingthroughshit]

Two year relationship, very intense, at times abusive and manipulative. Broke up a year ago. I got very very good and supportive advice from here at the time.

I have come a long way, I no longer feel I am in love with him, although I feel I love him for what he's done for me, I feel a better person coming out of the relationship. I feel more content and my h happier to be around family and friends and my children and alone. During the year we have been in contact on and off, usually more intensely if I've been on a date. No relationship since we broke up.

Now, contact has increased. He's texting lovely things, phoning, and wants to take me away this weekend. I have agreed, but I feel stressed , something doesn't feel right, I don't know what it is. I don't want to lose him, but I think I only want to be his friend. I can't seem to get words out, I feel on edge,but I don't want to let him down.
I'm an idiot. I don't know what's going on. Also I overthink.

He’s trying to worm his way back in.

You need to block him from everything and have no contact, only then will you truly move on.

A very confusing post...At times an abusive relationship...you still love him for what he has done for you? I would say you actually have not thought this through at all. Stay away and cut contact you know what he really wants.

When me and exh split I asked him to leave on a Monday...
Haven't seen him since the night before.
Ever.
Together 5 years.

I find it really confusing to continue to associate with an ex. Just can't do it. Someone always wants more (usually me)

Stay away ... never stay with an abuser ... no matter what

He’s trying to work his way back in. Don’t fall for it. Remind yourself of the reasons you split up.

It sounds like he’s still managing to manipulate you. Do you have children together? If not I would cut all contact; if you do have children then you need to focus on communication about the children only.
I’ve never found ongoing contact with an ex to be helpful and an abusive one is risky

Wake up OP. He’s not nice.

Weekend away....?? He’s thinking sexfest

Thank you for replying. I just told him, it just came out, I had to be honest. He says he's really hurt, and was planning to surprise me.
I know the post is confused, sorry, I'm just confused. He was manipulative, but we had a lot of fun, probably the best time of my life in some ways, he's the funniest person I know, and we traveled a bit... that's what I mean , I'm grateful for some of our time together.

I did an after work flit and left him an email address to communicate with me through about important stuff.

You will not get the fun times back without the bad stuff. It may even be worse. I'm not even going to suggest he's a narcissist, because I don't know enough about him, but this is relevant, regardless.

medium.com/@OwnYourReality/hoovering-how-narcissists-try-to-suck-you-back-in-fe46bc380c2c

Ignore the big advertising spiel at the end, mind!

Yes I did. I knew he was wrong for me but I couldn't quite cut the tie. Then I got pregnant and brought a child into the mess and realised once and for all how wrong he was for me and my ds.

Wouldn't change my son for the world but if I'd just cut ties when I should have done instead of being weak (and bored) things would have been a lot different.

He is being manipulative now. Take the rose tinted glasses off.

very good advice from everyone keep well away , why haven't you blocked his number already? Definitely an ex for a very good reason keep it that way

You love him for what he’s done for you, in that you feel stronger for knowing him? eh? You’ve done the right thing by cancelling.

Sorry to drip feed...just off the phone to him, I feel really upset and guilty. He said he's not going to see me and he's going to block me. I understand why he'd do this.
But I don't understand it, I don't love him, but the whole thing has been incredibly triggering. It's taken me a year to get to this point, over a year. He said he didn't want a relationship with me anymore. Then he told me on the phone he'd told someone today I was his gf.

He’s just messing with your head now.

Ffs just block his number, cut all contact and move on. You didn’t answer when someone asked if you have children together.
I don’t understand this at all.

Stop feeling upset and guilty! He is manipulating you!! He’s got you wrapped around his little finger FFS!

Yeah, I'm just being silly. I just felt a bit weak, and it's not nice to hear someone upset because of you, and I just needed a bit of strength. I did the right thing and it's done now. No children together, first relationship since being on my own and the whole thing has just been turbulent. Thank you for giving me a little direction.

Yeah, I do feel I'm just being silly. I was just looking for some strength and direction, thank you. Just very upsetting hearing someone upset, and confusing when you're hearing things you would have loved to hear a year ago. The hoovering article was pretty spot on.
No we don't have children together, but it's been very intense and turbulent, and the first relationship since being on my own.

I've done the right thing and it's done now. He's blocked me and that's for the best.
Thank you

Oh god, X posted myself, I tired to post the first one and it said there was an error

You’ve done the right thing - dont have contact with him. You had some good times but that was part of the manipulation to keep you interested.

I dont think you love him but perhaps the idea of who you hoped he’d be. Find someone true. Move forward dont look back

Glad you've seen through him - though he couldn't have been more transparent if he was fresh air.

Be kind to yourself

It’s called love bombing, being super nice. You say he’s manipulative and abusive. Keep him blocked, he is no good for you.