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Original poster

Wwyd - porn

27 replies

Watermelon2019 · 11/05/2019 14:13

Originally posted in aibu but think it's probably better suited to relationships. Long time user but name change due to this potentially being outing.

Really need some advice on how to handle current family situation. I have recently found out that my sister and her husband have started making porn videos and webcamming in order to make money. The content of their videos is EXPLICIT (as detailed by people who have watched). They have 3 children, 2 of which are approaching secondary school age.

I am absolutely horrified. I feel so bad for their children and am furious that they are putting them in a situation which could lead to bullying and ridicule.

As fair as I am aware they are not hard up for money, they would just like to live a more glamourous lifestyle and are using this to fund it.

I just don't know how to handle it, of course it's none of my business how they lead their life, however as a mother of daughters I feel as though I cannot condone this as I do not want to send the wrong message to my own children in the future.

Am I wrong to want to cut her off? I'm so conflicted about this and it's not a situation I ever thought I would find myself in. Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
Cottonwoolmouth · 11/05/2019 14:14

Have you spoke to her about it?

Original poster
Watermelon2019 · 11/05/2019 14:20

No not yet, I only just found out so am trying to calm down a little and get some perspective before I do.

OP posts:
2cats2many · 11/05/2019 14:25

If you cut her off, you also cut the children off, no? I reckon they could use a refuge of a sane family member who they can talk to if this comes out.

Try and talk to her. Tell her what it will be like for her children when people find out. It will be fucking awful for them. I can't imagine what it would do to the mental health of a teenager. What if someone showed them on of their videos? Maybe she hasn't properly considered the impact.

I wonder if any social services peeps on here have a view about whether this would create any safeguarding concerns.

crappyday2018 · 11/05/2019 14:27

I'd be horrified too but its technically none of your business. Of course its awful to think they're putting their children at risk of bullying but I would hope they have thought about this.
If it bothers you that much, have a quiet word with your sister about your concerns for their kids but she may just tell you to mind your own.

MissPollyHadADolly19 · 11/05/2019 14:33

I wouldn't say it's something I'd cut her off over IMHO.
Presuming it's just the two of them making videos and her DH isn't pimping her off to others?
It's two consensual adults who are making videos.
Maybe if you feel by you condoning it you're setting the wrong example to your kids you could hint to her about making "realistic" sex videos, instead of the norm of violent sex and rape style pornos.
Therefore if young people do come across it (which they do) they will be promoting the reality of sex instead of the glorified derogatory porn that is brainwashing young men/women.
I know many escorts and webcammers who are amazing parents, they use the extra funds to put their kids through private school and money towards their future.

I know it's very "taboo" but I wouldn't see this as a safeguarding issue.

Cottonwoolmouth · 11/05/2019 14:36

Can you prove it’s actually them?

If this was my brother (don’t have a sister) I’d be disgusted in him for degrading his wife for public viewing. I’d lose all respect for him and I don’t think I could get past it tbh.

Is your sister doing this willingly? Could he be forcing her to do it?

If she is happily going ahead with it I’d have a serious problem with it and I’d make a stand over it.

If she isn’t happily going along with it then she needs help.

You need to speak to her frankly about it

Original poster
Watermelon2019 · 11/05/2019 14:42

Yes can 100% prove it's them, many many videos, degrading subjects like "brother and sister do xyz"...selling dirty underwear, every account on ever platform they can promote on, Amazon wish list s for "admirers" to buy them TV's , clothes, perfume etc.

As far as I am aware she hasn't been coerced into it, at least it doesn't seem that way but I could never truly know.

I have totally lost respect for them both as I feel they are putting themselves and making money above the future mental health of their children.

OP posts:
KennyCalmIt · 11/05/2019 15:00

What are they doing wrong?

They’re both consenting adults. They know what they’re doing, they’re not putting anyone else at home and that includes their children.

Okay I personally would never do this, but so what? Do you really want to lose your sister over this? And your nieces/nephews?
You wouldn’t disown her for having sex. The only difference is, they’re recording it and willingly uploading it onto porn sites.

If this was my brother (don’t have a sister) I’d be disgusted in him for degrading his wife for public viewing. I’d lose all respect for him and I don’t think I could get past it tbh

Oh fgs. Why have you assumed this? If you did have a sister who was doing this, would you lose all respect for her degrading her husband??
There are plenty women in the world who enjoy making sex videos! Why do people automatically assume that any woman in a porn video must either have been coerced into it or forced?? God forbid a woman should actually choose to do this Hmm

Okay it’s not to your taste but what they’re doing doesn’t actually effect you unless you go out your way to view what they’re both doing.

KennyCalmIt · 11/05/2019 15:01

At risk* not home

2cats2many · 11/05/2019 15:13

I honestly can't believe some of the responses on here.

How is it OK and harmless to their children for them to behave like this? Would you want your teenage children to watch you and your partners fucking on a movie called 'Brother and sister do..... '. What kind of warped view of relationships and sex do you all think that promotes to impressionable teenage children?

I fucking despair.

ALovingSpirit · 11/05/2019 15:41

Free consenting adults, free consenting market. I don’t see the problem.

Only narrow minded prudes would tease anybody about this, and it would be good because it would identify them as being not worth knowing.

I think it’d be better to look at why you have a problem with it rather than attempting to change the world to suit your own view of how things should be done.

As McCartney sang “Why don’t we do it in the road?”

2cats2many · 11/05/2019 15:54

And who cares how it affects the teenage children, right?

ALovingSpirit · 11/05/2019 16:00

Children, teenage or otherwise, should NOT:

Be drinking alcohol
Taking drugs
Watching porn
Eating high fat, fast food diets
Smoking cigarettes
Spending 24/7 playing computer games

I think every sane person understands that some activities are harmful to partake in, whilst to young & that some are harmful irrespective of age.

FissionChips · 11/05/2019 16:23

Only narrow minded prudes would tease anybody about this, and it would be good because it would identify them as being not worth knowing

Lol. Poor children won’t have any teenage friends then.

user1479305498 · 11/05/2019 17:00

It's nothing to do with being prudes, it's putting your teens in a position that they can really do without. It also I feel gives the impression of easy money. I personally think it's a bloody weird world where an actual couple are ok with others sat wanking over them.

MMmomDD · 11/05/2019 17:22

Teenagers shouldn’t be on porn platforms. So should not go looking for videos of their parents.
And equally - sane adults shouldn’t be telling their kids - ‘so and so’s parents are on the web streaming’....

Even if it’s not something you approve of - it’s not your business. They are consenting and not hurting anyone.
Typically people object to porn as women in there are exploited.
This is a loving couple. Who appear to like doing that.
Why this need to judge?

MissPollyHadADolly19 · 11/05/2019 17:56

After seeing your update OP please scrap my PP, the whole incest vibe is vile.

MatthewBramble · 11/05/2019 18:23

They are over 18, not being coerced and legally capable of making their own decisions. In other words it is none of your business.

GammonNosher · 11/05/2019 18:32

Proper entrepreneurs those two. It's a bit like when you find out as a teenager that your dad was wringing the necks of family "pets" for tea.

Original poster
Watermelon2019 · 11/05/2019 19:16

I must say I am surprised by some of these comments.

I agree that it's none of my business, and if they did not have a family I probably wouldn't have too much to say about it, however it's the fact they have children that I can't quite get my head around.

Is everyone honestly saying that they don't think these kind of videos of your mum and dad going around the school at some point in their life is harmless? Because let's face it, the chances are someone somehow will find it, and it will spread like wildfire, these things just do in schools.

Also, for those saying it's two people in love having sex, without going into explicit detail that is NOT what their videos show. They show derogatory, incestuous topics, and are in no way loving.

OP posts:
FissionChips · 11/05/2019 19:30

It’s not just other children finding out, it’s their parents too. I certainly wouldn’t allow my DC to visit one of their friends houses if I knew the parents made ‘incest’ type videos.

DBML · 11/05/2019 19:43

Their life, their choice. This is not a safeguarding issue and doesn’t affect how they look after their children. The subject is purely click bait and they aren’t actually engaged in incest.
If I were you I’d forget it.

ALovingSpirit · 11/05/2019 19:47

Lol, if you don’t like the content they are producing you could always submit some scripts to them! Who knows you may have a latent, lucrative talent and a new career in front of you =D

SimonJT · 11/05/2019 19:52

They’re both consenting adults, they can do as they please, but they of course can’t expect everyone to agree with their choices.

Cottonwoolmouth · 11/05/2019 20:36

There are plenty women in the world who enjoy making sex videos! Why do people automatically assume that any woman in a porn video must either have been coerced into it or forced?

Do you think a girl aspires to be a porn actress all her life? Many many girls are drugged, sexually abused and forced in to it. Many girls then choose to carry on with it because they then feel in control if they at least have a say and feel they are no good for anything else.

How can you possibly know from watching a porn film the women there is there because of her own free will. Do you think you g girls grow up thinking ‘I know, I’m going to an actress in a movie where I get gang banged by a group of men. - or - oh I’ve always wanted to have anal sex with a camera filming it at close up’ ?

The porn industry needs to go away. It’s a gate way for disgusting men to make money out of vulnerable women.

Young boys thinking that this is real life and expecting their young girlfriends to brhsve in this manner.

Yes they can do as they please but hopefully one of their kids won’t come across it in later life.

It’s not for me.