Literally desperate.

[mamapart]

So I stayed up last night having a drink. My bf went to bed and I was in a call with all my friends. Everything was fine I came to bed and that's that. I should have known though that he would start again because he's jealous. He apparently doesn't trust me talking to other people once I've had a drink and doesn't know what I'd do. Right well the past two weekends he's been out watching football, drinking and going clubs in the evening but I do it at home and I'm wrong? And now he's leaving because he's had enough of me 'flirting' he's had enough of me taking everything out on him. When really he just expects me to be a "yes" man like his mother is to his father (who apologised for speaking to loud) like are you joking. So now he's leaving and I just sat on the bathroom floor begging him to stay. What do I do?

You let him go.

Again: you let him go.

Don’t subscribe to this shit. It will hurt but move on. He’s an arsehole and he’ll only continue to spoil your life. You get one life

Let him go. He sounds controlling and borderline abusive. He wants you to beg.

You have done nothing wrong and I guarantee he has no intention of going/staying away at all. He just wants you to feel dependent on him. Get rid.

Take your power back. Tell him you wish him well for the future.

Sounds like you should be glad he's leaving. I understand that you love him and feel desperate, but this is not a healthy or a happy relationship.

The desperation will wear off in time. Eventually you'll recognize that you could have wasted years on this unpleasant man, and that the man you're in love with doesn't exist. The real man is jealous and controlling - and he doesn't love you. He's doing you a favour by leaving.

Let him leave stop begging.

He is planning to either not go or out you in the dog house for a couple of days.

He is using this technique to modify your behaviour so you behave how he wants.

Its abuse.

If he stays or comes back he will continue to abuse you.

Fuck me not literally let him go!

Red flag, red flag, red flag.

Doesn't like you talking to friends
Doesn't like you talking to other men
Gets jealous
Doesn't like you drinking
Blames you for him leaving

Next steps:

Doesn't like what you are wearing g
Doesn't like the way you say things
Doesn't like you going out
Doesn't like you talking to family
Doesn't like you breathing

What a tosser. You're well rid darling... go and find a decent one. One who can handle you growing as a person outside of your relationship.

What do you do ? Wave him off with a big loud " Off you fuck then "
Red flags aplenty.

I would expect he's already got the next mug lady lined up ready to go.....so he's making YOU feel guilty for forcing him to go......what are you waiting for? Let him go.

Wlll why are you begging this twat to stay? Help him pack and tell him to fuck off.

No one needs to live like that.

But something I need to add is lately I've been soo angry and probably have take. It out in him ( my anxiety comes out in anger and my dad was in hosp literally scared for his life) I know it's no excuse but it's added to everything. I really really don't want him to go. He's left before and it's was TORTURE. I had to stay with my parents last time which isn't an option now. I love him soooo much and the thought of him leaving physically hurts so bad.

Ok. I think uou need to seek some help for your mental health issues. I'm not sure what's causing you to behave like this, and I wouldn't try to diagnose you, but your reaction to him leaving is not normal and is concerning.

@Bluntness100
I go counselling, I suffer with depression and anxiety, also OCD. It's under control but in situations like this it flares.

Ok then maybe you're not thinking rationally and it's your illnesses talking.

Try to take a step back. The relationship isn't working. For either of you.

There comes a time where you're better off out of it and starting again, first having some time on your own to get healthy.

I love him soooo much and the thought of him leaving physically hurts so bad.

Get help! Start using your brain!

Please read this thread.

DP angry because I looked attractive last night http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3578517-DP-angry-because-I-looked-attractive-last-night

He's apologised and decided to stay. I'm lee anxious but still worried he's going to leave at some point.

your worried hes going to leave??

id be more worried hes staying....................

I don't know whether anyone will see/reply to this, but like I said he's staying and I'm glad but how do I now move forward. I'm scared that things are gonna set him off. I have been a dreadful person to be around mater with all the anxiety coming out as anger towards him and stuff but I just don't know how to get passed it.

Have you considered that your anxiety is caused by his nasty controlling game playing.

Maybe You’d be better off rid of him.

@Seniorschoolmum
A lot of people say that, but I get more anxiety at the thought of him leaving. He left before and it was so horrible I was so lonely for them months

You should be angry with the way he is trying to control you.
Its ok for him to go out for any reason but you shouldn't talk to friends cos he doesnt trust You?

Huge red flags.

Now he knows you are desperate for him to stay he threatens to leave so you are the one in the wrong not him. Then he can tell you what a great guy he is to stay with such a horrible person as yourself. Now you need to start doing as you.are told to keep him happy.
Its all bullshit and he just wants someone to shut up and do as they are told and because of all your issues you are the perfect target.

Tell him to leave as you have had enough of his blaming you for his problems. Its not you setting him off its his way of controlling you and blaming you.

You will feel much better much sooner without him.

You’ll be like his mum in a few years OP. Why do you think she apologises for speaking too loud?Do the people you know who are in healthy relationships apologise for speaking too loud?

You need to let him leave, and if he doesn’t go then leave yourself. This will not go well if you stay with him, I absolutely guarantee it.

He was never going to leave.

Being lonely is nor a reason to stay in an abusive relationship. I am sorry if that's not what you want to hear. But it's true. I know, I have been there.

Eventually you arent lonely. You might need some therapy and support. But once you arent lonely anymore, you are better for it.

Its hard short term. Long term the benefits far outway anything else.

If you stay, long term the abuse gets worse, you walk on egg shells, become someone who doesnt even feel like a person. You feel worthless. And if you have kids that's what happens to them too.

He was never going to leave.

You dont really want him to stay, you're just scared of being alone. Your anxiety is BECAUSE of this man. You said yourself:

I'm scared that things are gonna set him off

That's not normal, in fact it's downright concerning. I can say with confidence that if you got rid, your anxiety would massively reduce. Yes, it's difficult at first, to actually make that change, but once he's gone, just think what it would be like. You'd be free to do what you like, when you like, without the constant worry that something you do will "set him off".

I would really suggest giving Women's Aid a call to talk this through. No need to go into loads of detail, just tell them what you've said here. They can help you make sense of your feelings and about what's been going on.