Should I tell him how I feel?

[GrandfatherClock]

I’ve been attracted to a man for about a year. We both have partners but no children. We’re friends but nothing more. Should I tell him how I feel or attempt to go NC and move on?

You should know the answer to that!

I should but I don’t. Hence asking here!

Do you mean I shouldn’t because he has a partner? I know.

@OP is the feeling mutual and would you both be prepared to leave your partners for each other? If not then no, don’t say anything!

I don’t know how he feels. That’s why I would be telling him. Yes, I’d like to be with him.

I wouldn't.

Either he's happy with his partner, and you'll get a knock back; or he's not happy and will take up with you, either dumping his partner, or not. And you will then know he's the type whose head can be turned.

Consider telling your partner how you feel though. He's the one you owe honesty to, and if you are not that into him, he deserves to know

Well first off you should leave your current partner then before doing anything else

Leave your current relationship, stay on your own for a year and then see where your feelings are regarding the OM

Let's say the feeling is mutual and you get together. How long will it be until you leave him because you have seen someone else that takes your fancy?

Learn some boundaries and the real meaning of commitment.

If your partner isn't enough leave them then when you are single tell this man you like him.

Why on earth have you stayed in a relationship for a year while preferring someone else ??

We’ve been together for over a decade and have a mortgage together. It’s not totally straightforward to leave.

Don’t let a mortgage shape the rest of your life. Leave your partner and if you want to, declare your feelings. You may end up disappointed though as a lot of men will stick with what they have

So you’d be willing to treat your partner with contempt by having an affair?

I don’t want an affair. I was thinking that, if he feels the same way, we would split up with our partners before anything happens between us.

I think these things always sound better in theory than they are in practice.

I think if you were to tell him it would need to be followed by ‘and this is why I need to go nc with you forever’

Let him make a move- if he feels the same & has conviction, he’ll come your way, if not he won’t & your best off without him. Meantime should you not leave your partner anyway as your heart is not there?

Leave your partner and see how it pans out

LOL, you come on mumsnet where a lot of people have came on for advice due to being cheated on and you want advice on how to bag someone else’s dude successfully. Get some morals!

If you’re not happy with your current partner then book an appointment with a solicitor to sort out the house and split up ....then look for a man who is single.
Nearly 8 billion on the planet OP , there really is no need to actively pursue someone who’s attached.

Your poor partner. You don't stay with someone you clearly don't love just for the sake of the mortgage.

Leave him and let him find someone who sees him as more than second best.

So the mortgage is only a problem if he doesn't leave his partner too?

If you don't love your partner anymore, you shouldn't stay with him. Even that you're single, it's not right to go try to split the other couple.

Moreover, if that other guy would actually split to be with you, would you ever be able to trust him? You'd be insecure all the time thinking that he could do the same to you.

So what you are really saying is you don't want to leave unless you have someone else lined up.

So familiar...is he from work?

So basically you are using your current partner. Absolutely vile.
You want to see if he feels the same and then you would leave him, if not you will stay?
Disgusting of you.
The right thing to do is leave him now because hes not worthy of you. And then go on your chase for the other man.