weekends. ever get tired of being the go getter organiser?

[coddychops]

every weekend morning it sme who says " come on turnt he tv on get dresssed tidy up lets go out"
or whatever
seems to be the saem in most relations hios
any one esle wnat dh to take control?

mine wanted to clean in the weekend so i sat with my arms folded in protest

no you see my dh reads the papre and thek kids are plying or whatever but its alwasy me who getsd us going
why?

i agree with beets if they get used to you being the little women well it just like having a little pet slave ain´t it!

on the other hand though if you want to get out and about and would go mad waiting for the paper to be read etc then subversive tatics are required... grab the paper before he gets it... and sit engrossed for at least 30 minutes with toast.

Or go out without them and tell him to bring them with later on to where ever you want to meet up... would be fun to watch!!

Don't know coddy but it is exactly the same in our house. If I have a lie-in (by special, explicit request, it's never offered) they are all still grunging around in pjs whatever time I make it downstairs. Curtains often also still drawn, horrible.
On holiday I decided to sit vacantly on cottage sofa and NOT make picnic/look at map/folder of leaflets etc, one morning, and wait for dh to utter "OK, let's get going". We were all up at 7am and I was still sitting there at 11am
We sometimes have the "Your turn to organise this family ffs" conversation and it always degenerates into "But you like it really". Weasel.
Glad it is not just me. Teeth were nearly stumps after a fortnight of husbandly loitering.

yes
i know I am the architect of my own demise

I hsave a long bath at tthee weekends and whenI come down i like soemthing to haev happebed wihtout me asking

expecting something from others is too often a recipe for disappointment

perhaps if you instead expect nothing then when something happens you will be pleasantly suprised

well yes
I ma a morning person
t hts the problem

me a morning person too...

you like lists (or making them for others) have a list of things he must do when you have plans to go out... if he dithers and reads the newspaper get the kids in the car and get ready to drive off if he takes too long!!!

Yeah, me too. Apart from occasional lack of sleep issues I can hit the ground running at 7am. Papillon, dh uses that argument on me too - it's a fair point - but when it is used by someone in a supposedly equal partnership to not make any mental effort at all it gets to me rather
Coddy, something's always "happened" all right when I get down...child clonked hard with Duplo, child eaten contents of dining room rubbish bin, toast walked into carpet...

are you living in my house Coddychops? I am so fed up of waiting for DP - dozy wally that he is. In the early days he wouldn't get dressed until 3pm! doesn't happen anymore obviously.

I have told him that his "lazy b**r" days are numbered, we have a DS that needs entertaining!

Yep - I always look forward to the weekend thinking I'll have help with DH around but it always ends up being more stressful than when I'm on my own!! When I'm on my own I just get on with it but I expect dh to do half at the weekend and it doesn't happen.

Don't get me wrong - he can be great and does quite a bit but I ALWAYS have to ask - he doesn't see anything that needs doing and like someone else mentioned - if I have a lie in (har har), when I come down, noone is dressed, no dishes are washed, the lounge is a bombsite...

It's ALWAYS me that suggests going swimming, going out somewhere together and he comes along with a right look on his face - he always admits afterwards that he feels much better for it and is glad we came out but we still have the same scenario the next weekend!!

phew coddy releieve she is not alone
yes defintiley ofent easier when dh temporarily away ( dont want to offend single mothers )

oh and skate
deffo

dh makes own lists now sabnd gets annoyed when I tick them!
{ evil grin]

I just wrote a whole article on how sodding boring it is to be the organised boring one all the sodding time.

I did get a lie-in on Sunday, but it would have been quite nice if the Inferiorettes had been out of their PJs when I'd come downstairs. AND if DP had thought to roll up the rug before DD2 had trodden breadstick into it.

Whoops, had to correct myself from typing DD3 there! No! No! Noooooooooooo!!!!!

Oh, and ditto ditto ditto on the telly. I would quite like the excuse to plonk them in front of it, but DP has used up all the Telly Time.

So I took them to the park instead (polishes halo), admittedly while their dad went to Sainsbury's.

coddy my life would be so different if there were no weekend newspapers!!!!!

I'm a single mum, so don't have a dp/dh to count on or moan about. It's all down to me all the time. HOWEVER, with most of my friends, it does seem that the woman organises everything to do with family life. It's the woman who sorts out the holidays, majority of meals, leisure activities, tidying, household chores, etc. The woman is the family energy source and prime motivator. It IS exhausting!!!

But, I find the days that I think "I can't be bothered planning anything", and simply slob around the flat are the days I feel most exhausted/lethargic - rather than rested. Also dd tends to get bored, becomes demanding, and then the idea of a relaxing day is gone as I feel aggravated with her for not letting me be a couch potatoe! I find if I put forth the energy to make a plan - even if I don't feel like it - I'm always glad I made the effort. Think it's far to easy to slip into the pattern of making an effort for the duties in life, and not making an effort for optional, pleasurable things! So, whenever possible, I do crank myself up and go do something. Though....that being said......the idea of a nap right now is awfully appealing!

My dh says "What are we doing this weekend?"
If I reply "What would you like to do?" and he suggests something, I often say "Oh I think we should do so-and-so"
So while I sometimes long for dh to make the decisions (and do the work involved) I think I'm too bossy to let him
Occasionally he says "Let's do blah-blah" and I say "Good idea" but then I still have to do the work involved
Most of the time I'm pleased that he's happy to go along with what I want

CAM you sound just like me......
but it would be great if dh took the initiative of doing things properly (ie my way) without me asking (surely he must have learnt by now!!!) and had fabulous ideas of things to do at the WE

Coddy, I think we are married to the same man. My DH is so lethargic I think if I disappeared for 6 months I'd find him buried under a pile of takeaway boxes and dirty socks.

It's all very well saying things are like that because you let them get like that between you, but I think it's a question of tolerance levels. I mean, DH will EVENTUALLY wash up/whatever, but the point at which he does so is a long time after the point where I've already done it

When I met him he was quite self-sufficient. He has slowly slipped into the comfort zone.

If I ever lie in at w/e (till, oooh, say 8.30am), I come down to find DS still in PJs and soggy nappy, unbreakfasted, watching TV while DH reads paper. I then unstack dishwasher, get breakfast, tidy afterwards, dress children, and announce we're going out. To which DH replies, "Oh, I'm not quite ready yet, shall I meet you later?"

3 hours later he's ensconced in front of Soccer Saturday...

he's going to get a shock when he finds I've cancelled Sky Sports next month

Mine is rubbish when we go out. I now make a list of all the things we need and if he wants to help he has to get all the things on the list and tick them off as he puts them in the car. This follows from one Boxing Day when we went to his parents. I had packed all DSs' clothes, food etc and all he had to remember were the presents and the wine. Guess what? He forgot. I didn't remind him and didn't care - his family so up to him if they don't get their presents and I was pg so not really drinking anyway. Strangely, since then, he's always been more helpful about packing to go out!