Would you consider these red flags?

[MeltedEggMum]

First date. He is due to pick me up at my house any moment and rings to cancel, saying he has a "hot date" with someone else. Rings the bell after I become obviously disappointed and laughs at his joke when I open the door to him standing there, mobile phone in hand.

Tickling me when I'm holding something heavy or bent over doing something else.

Pushing me over onto a couch or bed as a joke and not letting me back up for a minute or two (pushing me back down whenever I try to get up).

Calling my meals "slop"

Laughing at me not understanding something the first time.

Sleeping late every day so can't help with DC in the morning, working late so can't do bed times, ignoring me when I ask for help and then getting annoyed when I ask again because I don't know if he heard me the first time.

Joking that labour pains were all in my head.

Saying yes to doing something/helping me out bit never doing it and getting cross if I ask about it.

Using my things and laughing at me when I can't find them.

Buying me presents he knows I won't like, but are expensive and tricky for me to return myself.

He sounds like an immature lazy bully

He sounds like an absolute twat. I'd run a mile

There are plenty of men out there that do not behave this way. You deserve better.

How long have you been putting up with this shit?

It's abuse. This man is abusive and has been from the first date.

Yes, absolutely red flags. The man is an abusive arsehole.

What an asshole. He was on a power trip from the start.

It sounds like you found an escapee from the traveling circus! Send that clown back where he came from

Sounds like a total arsehole.

Is this the back catalogue of the partner in your other thread?

The trigger for his behaviour in the other thread was your joking to lighten up a situation. The words "joke" and "laugh" are all the way through this thread, but not in a nice, light-hearted way.

There's a significant difference between laughing with and laughing at; everything you've listed above is laughing at.

You've had to put up with years of "jokes" that must have been infuriating, but were attacked when trying to joke back. I'm sorry for what you've been through.

No, these are not 'red flags', each and every single one of these is unacceptable and you have clearly been putting ups with it for years. The question is why? Why are you with such an unpleasant bully?

Laughing boy is a bit of a sadist.

The man has more red flags about him than a Communist Party committee meeting.

TBH Egg the last thing you need at present is a person like this in your life. Love your own self for a change and work on strengthening your own boundaries through counselling.

What an arsehole. And creepy with it. Plus lazy and a shit father.

OP, you deserve better.

Let's see ,
He puts you down verbally,
He holds you down physically,
He puts you down mentally

He doesn't help with ( his ? ) DCs
He doesn't help with housework

He steals / hides your things

And you have to ask if you should be staying with him ?
If the DCs are his then you need to talk to him or it may be easier for you to write it down , about how you feel and the influence he is having on Docs.
Tell him ( don't ask ) he has to change.

If DCs are not his start packing his stuff into bin bags now.

Not forgetting he attacked you Friday,as per your previous post.
You are well rid of the knobrot OP xxx

I'd have told him to fuck off before slamming the door in his face on the date. Fuck that.

Red flags, no, he's an abusive thundercunt.

Sadistic.

Passive aggressive writ large - it's a mind fuck that will
erode your mental and physical health over time.

Sounds like a knob

He's horrible. Get rid. He's been horrible ever since that first date. Please don't put up with him any longer.

Once you've got rid and got over the breakup you'll be wondering how you ever wasted precious years on this cruel man.

For context, unless OP is gunning for the Guinness record in 'Fastest Moving On in Failed Relationship', I suspect that she is trying to digest and process the missed early-warning signs prior to her marriage with her (now-confirmed) abusive OH featured in her other thread. And no, OP, none of those things are especially normal. In isolation, some of the passing comments could be charitably construed as a socially-awkward sense of humour but collectively they paint the picture of someone who has a profound desire to dominate the relationship, often at the expense of the boundaries and dignity of their partner.

Please don't beat yourself up over missing the tells, OP; hindsight, as they say, is 20-20, and abusive types are often experts at reframing and minimising their actions to the point that absurdities are normalised. I hope that you reach some peace and clarity regarding all this, in time

NB for future reference, if it really was the first date, what was he doing picking you up from your place? Rule one, arrange to meet somewhere neutral and public until you feel you know someone well enough to let them know where you live. It's part of your 'shark cage' (google it).

He sounds like a dick

You really need to ask?

You're listing a whole host of abusive behaviour. Literally a list of things he does that you clearly, and quite rightly, don't like.

If someone else wrote that list, would you be thinking 'yes, he sounds like a really nice person, I'm not surprised she's in a relationship with him'.

Or would you be shaking your head and thinking 'god, what a complete and utter knob, why the fuck is she with this guy?' (Which was my reaction to your post).

Seriously, it's not that hard to see it, surely!