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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Saw message on phone

31 replies

Lottie20198 · 08/05/2019 09:22

Been with DP for just under a year. No real concerns. Was messing around on his phone today and opened his “notes” on the iPhone. It was on a page where’d he’d written “we can message like this. Are you hungry? I’m hungry x”

I don’t know what to think. It’s dated from two weeks ago when we were on holiday. On that day he did actually go to dinner without me as I was so tired and was napping although I joined him afterwards for a drink.

Im not sure what to think. If it was dodgy why would he be communicating with someone via notes.

OP posts:
BillGiggeloe · 08/05/2019 09:29

I never knew this until recently but you can air drop a "note" on an iphone if the recipient is near to you and has air drop turned on.

ThatsTheLastISawOfHim · 08/05/2019 09:32

Could he have been trying this airdrop unsuccessfully with you? Or maybe trying bot to rack up international phone charges by sending texts...? Did he mention going for dinner with anyone that evening?

Lottie20198 · 08/05/2019 09:33

Oh dear. Is that what’s happened? It’s quite possible I suppose. Although again we were abroad and the only time we were apart were for a couple of hours that night when he had dinner. If he had met someone wouldn’t they just talk to each other and not communicate via notes.

OP posts:
Lottie20198 · 08/05/2019 09:35

No he asked me to come to dinner but I was so tired I could barely move. When I woke up I messaged him and he’d been gone for an hour. I joined him after another hour. He didn’t mention having dinner with anyone

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 08/05/2019 09:35

He was trying unsuccessfully to contact you.

Lottie20198 · 08/05/2019 09:37

I don’t think he was trying to contact me. Like I said we were together before he went for dinner. He left without me after asking me and I said no I wanted to sleep. Wouldn’t make sense to then send me that message. Besides when I woke up we communicated via WhatsApp like we always do.

OP posts:
randomlygenorated · 08/05/2019 09:38

Honestly I'm the most suspicious person ever but i actually thing that's him trying to message you, like 'look I can message you by sending this airdrop note...'

Were you abroad with anyone else that you knew? Or meet up with anyone etc?

If not then I can't imagine who he would be messaging in a different country while on holiday with you!

Booboo66 · 08/05/2019 09:56

I absolutely think he was trying that message option out in order to save call charges abroad and forgot to mention it to you

Lottie20198 · 08/05/2019 10:52

It’s just that we were together the whole
Time on holiday apart from that evening. And where we were at there was WiFi everywhere. Also I’ve just remembered that when he left that night he left his laptop on with me playing music and it’s synced to his messages and WhatsApp so I would see anything flash up. My mind is working overtime. It’s not great

OP posts:
NASA20 · 08/05/2019 11:14

It sounds to me like he was trying to show you this new way of messaging. If your that convinced that's not it then you should just ask him about it.

Musti · 08/05/2019 11:19

I would guess that he was just trying out something new on his phone to see if it worked. It's a big leap that on a holiday where you were together the whole time except for a few hours he would find someone to send that message to!!

outvoid · 08/05/2019 11:21

Just ask him what it is, problem solved.

AtrociousCircumstance · 08/05/2019 11:23

I think the ‘we can message like this’ was supposed to be for you - to say here’s a new way we can communicate.

bagpiss · 08/05/2019 11:31

I didn't think you could airdrop unless you were in close proximity to the recipient? I know DH can't airdrop to me if I'm just upstairs. I also have to 'accept' any airdrop but don't know if thats just how my settings are done.

BillGiggeloe · 08/05/2019 11:33

Air drop distance is roughly only 30 feet so I think it was for you.

You would have to accept the message coming to you over airdrop though so maybe you missed that notification.

Lottie20198 · 08/05/2019 12:00

I think I should ask him. He won’t be happy that I was looking on his phone though and I think he will honk I was snooping. His previous gf hacked into fb messenger and saw messages he’d written to his best friend saying he wanted to sleep with other girls etc so he will definitely think I was doing that.

OP posts:
Divebar · 08/05/2019 13:00

Well if he was with you prior to going to dinner when would he have met anyone else? We’re there any other significant periods over the holiday where he was alone and could have got chatting to someone.?

hellsbellsmelons · 08/05/2019 14:06

I am THE most suspicious person ever.

I really am.
I've been royally screwed over, more than once.
I know what to look for and how to snoop.
And honestly.... I've never seen anything like this before.
If he was with you then I'm not sure how he had time to plan a meet up and you were supposed to be going with him anyway.
This looks innocent to me.
If you still have that gut feeling though, just keep an eye on things.

S021 · 08/05/2019 14:12

I don’t think it’s anything but wouldn’t mention it to him as will make him aware you’re suspicious.
Just keep a close eye

Mayalready · 08/05/2019 14:14

Why not set it up yourself and tell him it's your new discovery and see what he says?

ShatnersWig · 08/05/2019 14:21

This relationship will end well. You've got trust issues because you know about the ex gf and you were "messing around" on his phone.

For what it's worth it's seems pretty obvious he was trying to message you but you clearly don't buy that because of what you know of his past.

I couldn't live like that.

Rabbiting0n · 08/05/2019 14:27

Mayalready I like that idea!

Why were you snooping on his phone? You said you were playing around on it, but that means snooping, doesn't it? So... had something else made you suspicious? You seem convinced that he wasn't contacting you, which makes it seem as though you have other reasons to suspect him.

I don't have an iPhone. If i'd found something like that on my DH's phone I'd be suspicious, but if I came on here with it and got the responses you've had, I'd accept that. But then my DH has never given me reason to doubt him, and I've never known of him messaging friends saying that he wanted to cheat on his ex...

Lottie20198 · 08/05/2019 14:43

You’re right I do feel uneasy because of what I know. He was about 21 at the time though and whilst I write it off partly because he was young it does make me feel uncomfortable.

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Lottie20198 · 08/05/2019 14:44

mayalready I don’t understand how this would work. Im worried if he goes into his notes and sees it he will delete it and then how will I ask him about it

OP posts:
crispsforsupper · 08/05/2019 14:48

I'm another one saying that note was intended for you. Just throw this over your shoulder and enjoy being with him. Flowers