Do most men want children?

[rolos]

Hey everyone,

Relatively new here. I have a question that I was wanting to get some opinions and advice on. I have already had some very thoughtful advice in PM’s from a few people.

I have come to the decision that I do not want children, due to chronic illness that I would only pass on to them! (if I had children, I would hate to see them suffer from illness)

Anyway, i am 26, soon to be 27 and the last time I was dating I was early 20’s and the subject of children would just never have come up, people including myself were focused on uni/travelling etc. Although I appreciate everyone is different and some people plan families earlier, and it’s all down to preference and circumstance!

Now that I am mid-late twenties I am wondering if I should establish very early on if I am dating someone that I don’t want children. Is it best at this age to establish early? I wouldn’t want to string someone along who had different life plans and I also wouldn’t want to get hurt or hurt them.

I am just wondering if at my age is it going to be difficult to find a partner who also doesn’t want children?

Do most men want children or is it very 50/50? Has anyone come across a fair few men that haven’t wanted kids?

Any couple that I am friendly with would probably most definately want kids so i cant talk to them about it as they wouldn’t understand. Single friends I have would also want kids in the future.

Just looking for some advice from others who haven’t wanted kids and what that’s like when dating!

Sorry if this is rambling, I would really appreciate some advice :)

I think the problem you might face is not everyone has a set plan for their life. In my 20s I never really thought about children, had no desire for ones of my own and if asked I would have said I didn't ever want childern. My husband was the same and we travelled and just generally enjoyed our freedom. Until I decided that I did. I'm not even sure what caused the turnaround, luckily my husband felt the same and I am now pregnant with my first at 33.

You may meet men who are your age who are adamant they don't want children until 10 years down the line they suddenly can't imagine a future without them. And nobody will be to blame as people are entitled to change their minds. All you can do is be honest about your situation and hope for the best! I think men in their 30s and 40s usually have a better idea of what they want, is dating an older man something you would consider?

My DH wasn't really bothered either way but once we had our boys, he loved them to bits. They're adults now and have a fantastic relationship with him

Ds1 is 25. Doesn't want kids ever. Just doesn't see being a father in his future at all.
Ds2 is 22. And wants kids. He's still at Uni though so I think it's a few years in the future

thank you to everyone that has replied i appreciate it :)

Whackaguacamole and Moralitym1n1 - no it isn't an option. Its not something that could be tested for before birth. But it can develop in childhood/teen years or as an adult. There is a strong genetic link, i read an article written by a top consultant that treats the condition saying how he sees it in mothers,sisters, daughters etc. Men can have it to although its less common. I know its not a definite that they would get it, but for me personally I wouldn't want to take the chance as I would hate for them to have it.

downcast eyes and Dirtybadger- thats encouraging and has made me feel a little better! Where did you meet your DH/DP was it IRL or OLD if you don't mind me asking? Did you have to do a lot of dating before you met them?

And yes dating an older man is something I would consider!

You could always look at adoption, if it's the fact that you wouldn't want to pass on a hereditary illness then there are plenty of children that need love and care ☺️☺️

Always look on the bright side x

yes true it could be considered depending on the circumstances!

thanks for your words of encouragement flossy12 :) x

Your welcome ☺️ there's always other options, my sister never wanted children she even lost a relationship over it! Now 5 years on every time she sees my nephews or DSS she's in awe 🤦🏼‍♀️😆

I can see exactly where your coming from though and it's completely your choice to not have children don't ever feel guilty for it ☺️

There's also fostering, egg donation etc x