I know I’m going to get flamed for this but I don’t know what to do with myself. NC for obvious reasons.
During the summer of last year I was on a night out with some friends. A friend of mine who I met through work 5 years prior was also on a night out with his friends. In terms of the level of our friendship, we would message each other now and again as we had many common interests, would always stop to chat if we bumped into each other etc.. He’d got married not long before we met and he was a client at the time but this is all information he shared with me at that stage.
Fast forward 5 years and I had been out celebrating a friend’s birthday and had quite a lot to drink. I hadn’t seen MF (married friend) for a while and we hadn’t much spoken recently, but he came over and joined me and my friend with some of his mates. We’d had a few more drinks in the pub we were at and I said to the group that I was going to make my way home, but everyone else except MF were keen to go on to a club. MF walked with me towards the taxi rank and I noticed he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring. I asked if things were okay with him and his wife and he said he didn’t want to talk about it, and kissed me. I kissed him back, and to spare the details it went on a while.
He makes sure I get home okay etc. and messaged me the next day saying thank you for the night before and how he’d waited so long to kiss me. I replied and said it was a surprise for that to happen but it was lovely to see him.
A couple of days later, his wife posts on her Facebook, a picture of her, him and their son on a family day out. I was mortified but messaged him apologising for what happened and said I didn’t get the impression that they were still together, noticing his wedding ring was missing etc.. He said I had no reason to apologise and that he’d brought it all on himself and didn’t regret it.
This whole situation has come around again as we both recently had tickets for the same event and ended up sat next to each other; we were attending alone. I hadn’t seen him or spoken to him since the afore mentioned messages so it was a surprise to see him and for him to take a seat next to me.
We got talking afterwards and walked back to my car together under the pretence that it was dark and he wanted to make sure I got back okay. No alcohol this time but he kisses me again. I break it off and tell him it was a bad idea and he pinned me against a wall and said it wouldn’t stop him doing it again, and he kissed me again.
He messaged me the next day and thanked me for the night before and said how lovely it was to see me again and that he’d missed me.
I haven’t spoken to any of my friends about this because I don’t know what to say, or what to do. I don’t know how I feel or what my next move should be.
I know I’ll get flamed for being the OW but knowing I’ll have to see him in client meetings at work, I don’t know what I should do. Do I approach him and tell him it needs to stop, do I speak to his wife? Do I not say anything at all?
I’m sorry this was so long but appreciate if anyone has read until the end.