When you've reached your limit with your dc&dh

[Wouldyouorshouldyou]

Basically this! I'm fed up with being responsible and parenting and utterly sick of compromise and negotiation.

I feel totally taken for granted. My children are 6&12 and they have got to me over the past couple of days. I have lost my temper today and I'm not proud of it but I've really had enough.

I don't want to cook another meal that is rejected, or tidy up after everyone. I'm fed up of having to push to get homework done. To get children dressed, to get to school each day or to get rooms tidy. I'm sick of listening to kids fighting and demanding attention.

My children have push every button I have over the past week and I've snapped. My DH and children are waiting for tea and I'm so angry I don't want to cook for them. I want to run away to a spa hotel for a week and not come home.

Why aren't the children dressing themselves and tidying their rooms? Why can't your husband sort dinner? Why are YOU solely responsible for all this?

I hear you. My boys are 19&16 so no refusing food, they tidy up (when reminded) and are lovely kids.
I've just had enough and fancy checking out of family life for a bit. No responsibilities! Bliss

Because he has Asperger's and doesn't recognise the need for these things. It's exhausting!

I want to run away to a spa hotel for a week and not come home.

Can you do it? I have £25 in the bank. If I had enough money to spend a few days away I would do it.

Derek I need a break but it's not coming anytime soon

Maybe he doesn't recognise things but can't you tell him. Just tell him it's his turn to sort dinner because you're not doing it. I guarantee your children and husband won't let themselves starve to death. They know where the kitchen is.

Would be nice wouldn't it but I work full time and have to deal with children as DH works longer hours. I would love to hand over to someone else for a while.

OP I'm autistic and manage to parent, he's taking the piss.

I hear you with having had enough, DP has been working ridiculous hours and the kids are driving me crackers.

Can you escape to a friend's house for a bit?

Tell Dh to sort out tea and go have a walk or a bath.

Aquamarine it goes a but like this.
Me:"Your making tea tonight"
DH: "Ok what shall I make"
Me:"Anything you like"
DH: "How about pasta"
Me: "Great idea"
DH: "What with"
Me: "I don't care"
DH:"Shall I use a carrot"

He goes on like this till full instructions are given 😑. I may as well do it myself.

He wiped no surfaces down, the kitchen will be left with empty plates on the table unless I get step by step instructions of what to do. It's just the way he is. Fed up of asking!

I'm going to tell him he's doing it😣
Dreading the response, here I go.

Takeaway?

We have plants of food in but it all needs cooking. Takeaway is wasteful but tempting

Plenty

It's the Bank Holiday, OP, say fuck it and waste the money. Plus go and have a nice bath or walk or read a book for a bit and just get a bit of time out.

I'm going to run a bath and take my book category because it's raining and cold. I may not eat tonight I might just have gin, out of a beautiful glass while in my bed with a scented candle. I wish I had slick on my bedroom door 😂

A lock ffs. I don't have sausage fingers but you'd think I did!

Just write a full recipe list and further instructions of how to scrub the pots and wipe all surfaces.
Or just book a hotel Spa.
Stop being a martyr/ doormat.

Surely your dh can follow a simple recipe?
Call a ‘family meeting’. Tell everyone what you’ve told us and tell the kids what’s expected from now on and what chores they’re willing to do.
You’ll be doing them and yourself a a favour.

He goes on like this till full instructions are given 😑. I may as well do it myself

Ah, but no, it isn’t worth doing it yourself.

Give the instructions. Then next time he can do it. If he can hold a job down he can make bloody pasta and grated cheese. The 12 year old can als do it. Hell, my totally average 9yo can make a pasta and sauce except for the draining boiling water part.

Step back. Let the balls drop. You aren’t indispensable. Go out, go for a walk, a run. Something.

Sorry OP but I do not buy that excuse you made for your DH. If he can hold down a full time job, he can look after his kids and help you. You need a break, please just leave your DH with the kids and go do something nice for yourself.

So I've locked myself in the bathroom and had a bath with a book. Heaven! Almost finished it which is nice, 6mths to read 1 book is ridiculous. DH cooked tea after I told him I couldn't face another battle without losing my temper again and needed him to step up. He's fed them. I don't know what but I don't really care either. 12 year old has been told to do his own lunch for school, I won't be doing it. He seems to know I've had enough now but "can't find the lettuce", has been sent back to actually wrap the sandwiches up to transport them 🙄 and there is alot of huffing. The 6 year old has been sent to get PJ's on and has been warned it will be early bed if not done without fuss and argument. I feel guilty about making a bad atmosphere but maybe it's needed.

If you got run over by a bus tomorrow, would he just let the children starve or put them into care? If he would, then you should probably think about separation.

If like most adults, he would eventually cope, then he needs to pull his finger out NOW and get on with it. Feigned helplessness is not even the faintest bit sexy.

It sounds like you don't need the whip after all.

Take this as a (kind) lesson to yourself to let them do far more and not to make excuses for them in future.

You're not making a "bad atmosphere", fgs. It's called parenting and teaching them to be independent. Stop allowing your husband to be such a useless twat.