Shouting - is it normal?

[Banhaha]

My OH shouts at me about once or twice a week). I might be doing something not the way he would do it or I might have asked him to do a chore at an inconvenient time.

I was wondering if it's normal for some people to shout a lot? I've tried asking him to stop but he then shouts about that! It's not very helpful when we try and resolve disagreements. I think he might need to try anger management classes (any ideas how I should approach asking him about this?).

Horrible way to live, you know though that even if a 1000 people said it’s quite normal, if you are unhappy you don’t have to put up with it, same for any behaviour in a relationship. Being unhappy is plenty of reason to get out and he won’t change.

Grumpyoldblonde that's true. Makes me wonder why I asked if it was normal. If I'm not happy with it that's all that matters.

It is all that matters. But it's also not normal at all to shout at your loved ones.

I experienced this for many years and for years told myself that because it wasn't physical it wasn't abusive but now I know it definitely was. I absolutely hated it and it's now caused me all sorts of emotional problems. I am so scared of falling/ disappointing or letting people down and I think that is because I've internalised that doing something wrong results in me being shouted at. I can't confront or share my feelings because previously this would result in me being shouted at. For many years I wakes on egg shells worried about repercussions. I particularly remember that if I received a phone call at work this was generally bad news as it would mean he couldn't find something at home. He's then be in a bad mood and I'd get shouted at when I got home. I still 3 what's later remember the feelings of anxiety driving home. For years I was asking him to shop but he didn't see he had a problem.....he saw that it was my fault. I really wish I didn't put up with it for so long.