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Original poster

Am I doing something wrong?

46 replies

onemoresmartie · 05/05/2019 12:20

I go on a different date a couple of times a month, chat for a little while before and then meet up.....

Last night I met a guy we got on great but he didn't try and even touch me or flirt once..

All my friends say I'm attractive but maybe I give off that F off vibe to men

How can I be more approachable but not too much

Dating is becoming soul destroying when I feel like this

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 05/05/2019 12:31

How old are you? Why would a guy try to touch you on the first date?

Flirting....there was no chemistry? He didn't fancy you?

Perhaps you need to try something other than online dating. Meet men in real-life settings where you can decide if there's chemistry without the pressure of being on a date.

PutyourtoponTrevor · 05/05/2019 16:11

I'd be slapping anyone who tried to touch me on a first date!

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 05/05/2019 17:17

Ha yeah I probably should of put that better....I mean it was hard to tell if he even fancied me
He had seen plenty of pics previously and I look exactly the same in real life no cat fishing
Very odd

Another one to put to experience I suppose

OP posts:
ravenmum · 05/05/2019 17:35

Did you make it obvious whether you fancied them or not?

Passtherioja · 05/05/2019 17:37

How did you leave things when the date finished?

SleepingStandingUp · 05/05/2019 17:39

It's a first date, not touching you is also a sign he's a decent man.

Did you flirt with him?

Maybe there just wasn't a spark?
That isn't a criticism, it's just a fact of life

SignedUpJust4This · 05/05/2019 19:29

Stick with your f off vibe. The right man will try harder. There's a lot of men on OLD just after a shag.

category12 · 05/05/2019 19:34

Does he want a second date?

WitsEnding · 05/05/2019 19:38

Hmm, interesting post and replies. I am in the throes of OLD and have found that men generally describe themselves as 'tactile' and on a first date will steer me around any obstacle as if I were a bicycle ... one hand on the elbow, one hand on the seat. I have no issue with this but find it strange and thought perhaps it's a standard tactic these days.

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 06/05/2019 12:07

Haven't heard from him. Do I just leave it?
Can't get my head round it, we got on well chatted all night he made me a coffee In the morning

I want to message him to say at least something

OP posts:
NameChangeNugget · 06/05/2019 12:09

You need to make more effort to show your interested.

OLD unfortunately has been a game changer for men, who can talk to numerous people now and go for the one that’s least hard work

NancyPickford · 06/05/2019 12:28

Did you stay overnight with him, if he made you a coffee in the morning?

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 06/05/2019 13:06

He booked a hotel near me because he lives far away and we stayed there. I did say a few times I was going to ring a taxi and he was like just stay it's fine as my car was there so he had the opportunity to get rid of me.

It's bizarre we got on really well but I haven't heard from him...

OP posts:
NancyPickford · 06/05/2019 13:23

Maybe he's decided he's not interested enough to pursue it. Or maybe he's playing it cool..

ElloBrian · 06/05/2019 13:26

Uh hang on a sec you slept over?

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 06/05/2019 13:44

Yea slept over but might of well been in bed with my best friend

OP posts:
NancyPickford · 06/05/2019 13:52

Did you want to have sex with him?

ElloBrian · 06/05/2019 13:53

I would say that sleeping in his bed on the first date is more than approachable enough.

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 06/05/2019 14:00

I probably would of if he had made a move...I want to message him and ask

OP posts:
ravenmum · 06/05/2019 14:34

You've been in his bed, it would not be too forward to message him.

PatriciaHolm · 06/05/2019 14:59

So you went to a hotel overnight with a man you met online and had never met in real life until yesterday?!

Are you insane?

And no I'm not referring to potentially having sex on a first date, that's up to you. But have you no sense of self preservation?!

ravenmum · 06/05/2019 15:04

To be fair, a hotel could be safer than going to his house, or his coming to your house. It's just a single room you'd have to escape from if things went wrong, and there are people nearby. Not sure how you could make sex with a stranger much safer.

bigchris · 06/05/2019 15:09

Oh op I'm sorry

It sounds like he changed his mind

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 06/05/2019 15:23

It would seem so. I feel like giving up on dating it's just a waste of time

I didn't intend on staying over but I had too much to drink like I said I did try and suggest leaving as he wasn't very forthcoming, very friendly and chatty but no flirting or anything

I just don't get it

OP posts:
ravenmum · 06/05/2019 15:26

I wonder if he was also getting mixed signals, and/or was also pretty drunk and confused as to what was going on, whether you were into him, whether sleeping with you was even morally OK if you were drunk, etc. He might also be fed up with dating.

Next time how about a coffee for a first date? Have you read any of the dating threads here?

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