I have been with DP for 12+ years. There is history of him being emotionally abusive (for context this was severe, also involved money and for me had lasting consequences). Around 7 years ago all came to a head and we separated. A year or so later we regained contact and he spoke at length about how sorry he was, attributed the EA to his unmanaged mental health issues and lifelong difficulty with self identity and told me that if I was to give him one more chance he would spend the rest of his life demonstrating that he was no longer that person... you get the general idea. Needless to say he was fairly convincing.
Now, we are 5 years on and whilst he has undoubtedly done some work on himself and is to an extent outwardly unrecognisable from the person he was in those early days - and I have put a lot of effort in to the relationship, and trusting him, I am beginning to get the sense of an undercurrent.
Todays example has left me questioning various events of the past few years and feeling very uneasy. However I am not sure if at this point I am over analysing. I am sure that written down this is going to look ridiculous but please bear with me.
I had left a sandwich in the fridge for DP to take to work. I was going to put something else on it (as it needed using up). He is stood next to me as I open the fridge. The sandwich has gone. I am having a look to check it hasn't moved and he makes a point of noting what I am doing. I ask him if he has seen/ moved/ eaten the sandwich. He says, no, what sandwich. I explain that I had left one in the fridge. He looks bemused and assures me that he has not seen it. I have been unwell with pain and for a second actually wondered if I was imagining having made the sandwich. I calmly said, well it was there and now it is not so you must have seen it. I walk away into another room and after a moment he says that the sandwich is in his bag and follows this up with a laugh and ' your face then'.
I stay in another room and before he leaves for work he comes to say goodbye and tells me he hasn't woken up yet. My internal response was that he was still awake enough to play mind games. Am I losing it?