Is he up to something?

[suspic]

Dh recently stopped sharing his location with me on iPhone. I asked him why and he said he must of done something when he wasn't trying to fix his phone.

Yesterday I noticed he was no longer active on Facebook. I'm guessing he must of switched it off. Unless it's a glitch or something?

I have no reason to be suspicious generally. All he does is go to work and come home. He's been working a lot of extra on nights but I know he's been at his bosses house with other work mates. We speak on the phone a lot and I know he's been there.

However I know from past experience that this means nothing. I've been cheated on before - not by him and it's made me a very suspicious and insecure person in general.

We have a joint bank account but he does have a credit card which he pay off monthly. He just uses it for his lunch mostly.

Shall I say I've noticed the fb thing?

I know the passcode for his phone and he's sort of 50:50 with how private he is with it.

I just feel something is off with the fb thing. He's on fb now as I'm typing this and it shows absolutely nothing where as before it always showed when he was online

He's just told me I look beautiful today and he loves me and doesn't tell me enough. He hasn't said anything like this for ages. I feel sick.

Trust your gut. Make notes.

@Feckers2018 I've got it all. I just hate this feeling. It's the worst.

He does have an iPhone 5 and mine is a new one. Mine has all updated yesterday so I'm wondering if this is why.

But add that with stopping sharing his location....something feels off.

Trust your gut...
Say nothing...
watch and wait...

MN frowns on it but I’d have a snoop on his phone at some point

It doesn’t matter if he is or not. You don’t trust him. It won’t get any better so you may as well act on it. Which I suspect will involve going on full snoop mode. The problem is even you find nothing you still won’t trust him. That will change you and destroy you.

Choose your truth op.

He's been working a lot of extra on nights but I know he's been at his bosses house with other work mates.

She's at work. Sometimes they conduct affairs in plain sight.

Have a look at who he's Facebook friends with from work. Any new faces and/or someone he talked about a lot then stopped talking about?

@NCWhatisthis he only works with men! It's a small company of about 6 blokes. I'm friends with all their partners and we all so things socially. Defo no one at work as there are no women. He doesn't have a work place as such either. He goes from place to place in a van

And no, no new fb friends. Checked that also.

He also has a chronic pain condition which has been really bad lately and affects part of the body, private parts included. And I know it's been bad as I've seen it. So I really can't imagine how he's been physical with anyone as he's so insecure about it

I feel it will be more emotional if anything

Ugh op this is how it started for me, he was on extra work nights. Being weird with social media. I hope it isn't anything. I turn off my active status because I have a bloody annoying friend that won't stop messaging me all the time all day, could it be anything like that?

Why don’t you tell him your concerns and see what his reply is?

@Sausage101 this is the thing, I know he is at work. He also works in a manual job and is filthy when he comes in.

It could be something like that, I don't know wether to ask him or not. I wouldn't be so bothered but add it to the stopping of sharing location and it's fishy. He was the one who wanted to share locations in the first place which I had no issue with.

As for fb, he only ever checks it a couple of times a day as he's so busy with work. Sometimes he can go a day or 2 without being on it. So to me, I feel he's probably always on it now for whatever reason and has turned it off.

@hewontstopshitting that's what I was wondering. Wether I should mention it? But then he will know I'm on to him if there is anything. I hate this sort of stuff.

Nothing suspicious on his what's app either. Just normal activity which is fairly irregular. Can see when he was last online.

DP said his first suspicions about his ex were aroused when she disappeared from FB when he uploaded a photo of their daughter and went to tag her - she'd blocked him, then made lots of excuses about how she didn't know how to reverse it.

You could say something like after this update my facebook isn't showing my friends as online and see what his reaction is? Although if anything is going on he will just get more sneaky.

My STBXH worked all day. Just went to work and then came home. Or so I thought.

When I found out about his affair, I couldn't believe it at first because where would he have the time to do it? He comes straight home after work. Wrong. He was actually finishing work at 2pm instead of 6pm as he led me to believe. He'd go to the other woman's house and then come home after 6, giving the impression of a hard day's work. And straight into the shower because he ws mucky from work. Aka getting the scent of extra marital activity off him.

Trust your instinct. Take screenshots of whatever you find.

I can’t see any reason for you to be worried really. Are you just having a wobble and need reassurance?
Location sharing may indeed have been changed due to you having a new phone. The Facebook thing seems innocent. You are saying he’s not really giving you anything to worry about, so why are you torturing yourself.
The best way to overcome this is to talk to him.
Good luck :)

@ceebegee that's what happened to me, said he was doing overtime too, or had to stay later because a manager was late in. He wasn't, he was off drinking with a 19 year old he worked with.

Trust your instincts and do more digging? My exh was conducting affair in works time, he worked in a van going from place to place, just got some jobs done quicker than others and occasionally would be half an hour late so he could buy himself some time and call in her house, so it can be done.
I hope there is a rational explanation for the change in behaviour.

@BeanoBrown this could be a possibility but still....I can't see it. His boss is so strict with time off, he just wouldn't allow him to finish any earlier. On a regular basis anyway. He also has an apprentice working with him who he collects on a morning and drops off on a night either at our house or close to his home.

Maybe I am just over thinking. I think I'm going to send him something on messenger. If my message pops up as a notification then I'll know he hasn't turned them off. But if nothing shows then...I can ask and it will give me a reason to bring it up.

@BeanoBrown but I do have an inkling of who it could be if there was anything. And I imagine he would see her on his way home if he dropped the apprentice off first

But then again....his van is tracked by his boss. And his boss does track the whereabouts of the vans all the time. So I don't think dh would be that stupid. He would get found out by his boss.

God I sound daft don't I.

That's a bit worrying if you have an inkling. Did he mention her a lot then stop mentioning her? That's what happened with me. He would mention her all the time and I said 'do you fancy her' half joking. He then stopped talking about her as they were getting closer.

You don't sound daft to someone who's been there.

@Sausage101 mmm well she's a friend and he recently did some work for her. I know her too. He hasn't mentioned her for a while but he's completed the work so no reason to.

I have just mentioned her to him and he answered casually and still carried on watching tv. It hasn't alarmed him that I've asked