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Original poster

Sister in Law sent cheap recycled Xmas present for my 70th birthday

34 replies

arcadia03 · 04/05/2019 17:05

I wouldn't mind but my sister in law makes a big fuss of her own family's birthdays. She has never shown any interest in me, ignores me on visits and changes the conversation if I start a new topic. I find her bitchy and patronising, and she's very materialistic. When my husband was seriously ill I was offered no help, and she lives nearby whilst my own family live far away. My husband is quite dependent on her, his only relation, but I think he should stick up for me more, and maybe notice her ill-natured remarks.

OP posts:
Littleduckeggblue · 04/05/2019 17:06

What was the present she sent you? How do you know it was recycled?

EvaHarknessRose · 04/05/2019 17:17

Why not send it back to her without comment.

Marmitebread · 04/05/2019 17:19

Just stop exchanging gifts?

fecketyfeck21 · 04/05/2019 17:36

have you spoken with your husband about how you feel and her general attitude towards you ? in what way is he dependant on her ?

missyB1 · 04/05/2019 17:43

Is this really about the present or about all the other stuff? Surely you don't care what kind of present she gives you? I wouldn't even want a present from someone i didn't get on with.
I'm sorry she wasn't much support to you or your dh when he was ill, but some siblings are just crap I'm afraid (we have a couple in our family).
Oh and don't let her be rude to you, pull her up on it or just stop having anything to do with her.

WeeDangerousSpike · 04/05/2019 17:44

Give it back to her for her birthday?

WhatchaMaCalllit · 04/05/2019 17:47

When you say recycled do you mean regifted?

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 04/05/2019 17:51

It’s a bummer but by now you probably already expected this.
Buy yourself something nice.

Regift it back to the bitch...

sunshinesupermum · 04/05/2019 17:53

A close friend gave me a packet of ( pretty) John Lewis paper serviettes for my 70th!

My advice - ignore your sil's gift.

Singlenotsingle · 04/05/2019 17:53

Yeah, give it back to her for her birthday.

Romax · 04/05/2019 17:58

Your post makes little sense
You seem to despise her I find her bitchy and patronising, and she's very materialistic. When my husband was seriously ill I was offered no help, and she lives nearby whilst my own family live far away

And yet you want her to make a fuss over you birthday.

I’d expect from a 7 year old possibly. Not a 70 year old.

Japonicaflower2 · 04/05/2019 18:02

My mil gave me a used bar of soap and a flannel for six consecutive Christmas' 😳
I told my DH that if she did it again I wouldn't be responsible for my actions. The following year I had an opened box of chocolates with half of them missing.
No, she didn't have dementia, she just made it clear she loathed me.

sackrifice · 04/05/2019 18:05

I'm only 51 but I learnt a long long time ago that you can really only rely on presents that you choose yourself. So that's what I do.

Gooseysgirl · 04/05/2019 18:06

Agree with PP, give it back to her for her own birthday

NameChangeNugget · 04/05/2019 18:08

What were you expecting from someone you clearly hate?

Give it back to her as others have suggested

Bluntness100 · 04/05/2019 18:09

I'm sorry but you need to explain more as complaining the present wasn't as expensive as you'd like Makes you thr grabby materialistic one.

So what's the back story here?

Original poster
arcadia03 · 04/05/2019 18:31

Hi Bluntness
It's the fact she called the present a 'little token present' when she gave me the bag. I intend to regift the present - the value is no big deal but it's the lack of care and effort that is hurtful, plus the fact she'd forgotton it was my 70th. We were all expected to celebrate her daughter's 60th last year and make a big fuss. Same with her husband's 80th. I'd keep her at a distance but my she's husband's only family.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 04/05/2019 18:39

Fgs you are 70 , you and your husband do not have to be joined at the hip , if he wants to see her he can it doesn’t mean you have to .

Littleduckeggblue · 04/05/2019 18:41

Why are you complaining that the gift was a recycled gift when you plan on doing the exact same thing with it?!?

blue55 · 04/05/2019 19:30

Maybe you're making it into and unnecessary issue.

She gave you a not-so-great gift for your 70th. Ok. Surely it doesn't really matter.

Had you laid on a big party to celebrate your 70th? If not, I don't think you should be expecting people to remember exactly what age you are.

Singlenotsingle · 04/05/2019 19:59

Or, maybe you should give her a big box of chocs and a massive bunch of flowers, handed over with a flourish and a 😘?

fecketyfeck21 · 04/05/2019 21:13

but why is your husband dependant on her ? you're his immediate family he should be looking to you first before engaging his sister.

feduuup · 04/05/2019 21:29

Oh god I was really hoping shit like this wouldn't bother me by 70 😭

tanpestryfirescreen · 04/05/2019 22:09

I intend to regift the present

Pot kettle black?

HollowTalk · 04/05/2019 22:11

You're old enough to not bother seeing her any more, OP. Just say, "No, I'd rather not" to any invitation to meet her.