Sister in Law sent cheap recycled Xmas present for my 70th birthday

[arcadia03]

I wouldn't mind but my sister in law makes a big fuss of her own family's birthdays. She has never shown any interest in me, ignores me on visits and changes the conversation if I start a new topic. I find her bitchy and patronising, and she's very materialistic. When my husband was seriously ill I was offered no help, and she lives nearby whilst my own family live far away. My husband is quite dependent on her, his only relation, but I think he should stick up for me more, and maybe notice her ill-natured remarks.

Ffs you are in your 70/80 ??? you are all going to be dead or demented very soon
Let it go and enjoy your life while you still have it

OP I could have written your post!!! I’ve recently taken a stand and said to my husband he will have to deal with his family from now on, as after 15 years of buying thoughtful gifts, being supportive, interested and caring I have got absolutely nowhere and they still let me (and my kind gentle husband) down again and again. Take a stand and absolve yourself of any contact or keep to a very bare minimum. I feel better for it and hope you will too.

I'm only in my 50s but I do hope, by the time I'm 70, I'll have worked out how to deal with petty grievances like this all by myself.

Giving inappropriate or attention-seekingly bad gifts in order to get a ride out if someone is really quite sad.

She must really want a reaction from you and think about you a lot to care this much and purposely do something so petty.

The best revenge you can get is to laugh at her and how small her life is, then slowly disengage. You can't get everyone in life to like you, or to even treat you fairly. So don't worry about her and concentrate on the people who do love you .

Ps. Happy birthday

Just give it back to her for Christmas.
Then grow up....

I think if you have got to the age of 70 and things are still like that then it's never likely to change.

What did your husband say about the gift?

@Nofunkingworriesmate you're a charmer, aren't you?

i hear you arcadia. I don't care about presents but I do care about courtesy and consideration. Just in from a night out with husband's family. Missed part of the conversation across the table so asked about it It wasn't particularly important. But attitude from two of the relatives. Would think I was being nosey in a private conversation. I was just being polite and showing an interest. Really made to feel that my place was just to turn up and shut up. But of course they were only joking so when I showed I was a bit hurt it was me overreacting not them being rude and exclusive. Funnily enough, when a sister did exactly the same as me later in the evening, asking about something she had only half heard that was ok. I know its trivial in the grand scheme of things but I am so sick of being made to feel less. Its all the more hurtful because I like/liked them and try my best to be sociable. Would wonder, is it me but my family and plenty friends seem to find me ok. Ah well. Life's too short and maybe I should just suck it up but when its gone on for years you get sick of being the fall guy coz life's also too short to give time and head space to this type of stuff.

I hope you intend to regift it to your sil. Anything else and what exactly are you complaining about?!