What is this??

[YellowAardvark]

I need advice!

I’ve been friends with a man for a little while, a few years. We used to only see each other in a group but over the past while we’ve started meeting for lunch more often just us, and still seeing each other for drinks in a group but never arranging to meet alone for a drink. Times we’ve had a drink alone in the past have been because others have pulled out or gone home early etc.

He’s asked me if I wanted to have lunch twice in the last couple of weeks, but then last week he asked me if I wanted to meet him for a drink just us. I said yes and we agreed we’d go Saturday evening.

Is this a date? I have no idea and don’t want to misread the situation. It feels different somehow but don’t want to overthink it.

WTF is he playing at? What a horrible man.

I feel so foolish.

That's really weird.

I don't think you need to feel foolish - it's him.

Would you stay friends?

Blimey. That's just weird.

No.
I'd cool it totally after that.

I wouldn't be seeking him out for company, if that helps. Leave him be for a while, let him approach you, he's behaved poorly imo and you deserve better.

Don’t feel foolish, I would of thought exactly the same. What a douch !

I usually talk to him at least twice a day if not more and see him about three times a week. But - I've just sent him a messaging asking for a bit of space while I process what happened. He replied with a message 'yeah, fine'.

I feel sick about it but hope I've done the right thing. I really need space from him right now.

What an arsehole.

No more lunches to prop his ego up. He probably stepped it up a notch to drinks as he needed a wee boost for his new romance.

Leave him to it.

What a jerk. He led you on.
It's totally your choice how much of a friendship you want to have with him now.
Sorry, OP.

Oh I'm so sorry op, he seems like he's playing a game to me and I bet he won't like not being able to message you now

Gosh that's horrible, sorry OP. He was definitely leading you on. Dodged a bullet there, even though I know it doesn't feel like it now. I'd back right off and leave him to it.

Sorry OP
But he doesn’t sound like a nice man and I think you’ve had a lucky escape

I feel like he was vague on purpose so he could pull the "we're just meeting as friends!" line. I feel duped.

It did feel like a date too.

Please don't feel foolish. Candle-lit dinner and bar hopping just the two of you.

He's a strange thing. How cold and hurtful.

Please put him out of your mind. I'd be cutting contact as well. You don't need a friend like that.

He has shown his true colours.

I think you'll leave quite a void in his life, if you have lunch, chat every day etc. Thing about OLD is you can match with someone, chat and all great then you walk in and it can be immediately "nope", for a million different reasons. I think he's feeling pretty invincible and special with the online attention, but a 6 hour Sat night 'date' is a date with someone he got on really really well with. He's a plum and I think it will come back to bite him. But there we go, at least you know now.

Oh no, how awful for you! I bet you feel dreadful. He’s a dick. He knew what he was doing. Hold your head up high, you have done nothing wrong here. Cool things off with him. I had a similar situation once, I was devastated. We’ve managed to stay friends but only very distantly, like I’d stop and have a chat in the street but I don’t message him ever now. I think I was his ego boost!

Wow! Just read your update. Bloody fucking hell, scuse my French!
Distance yourself entirely. Even his text reply was chilly. He sounds horrible. What was he doing? Using you for practice? I think I would be blocking him, as much for the chilly text as the night before. He has no human feelings at all. Good luck to his next girlfirends of which there will no doubt be many. What a cock.

What JK1773 said. An ego boost. That was what I was trying to say.

Thanks all x This has helped. I think I was more invested than I'd realised. I think I thought something was happening.

It's no wonder you thought something was happening. Absolutely everyone else would have thought that that was a date as well. He led you on and now he's playing it cool. I don't know what stupid game he's playing but you don't need to play along as well. It hurts when you find out someone's true colours but you don't need to feel stupid or anything like that because that was definitely a date and now he's being a prick. I would certainly cool off the friendship after this. Don't be his emotional support or all your future meetups will be him talking about this great girl that he's met.

He's a prick. Cool things to ice level. As @Noimaginationxyzz said - you'll leave quite a void in his life - but he doesn't deserve your friendship! onwards and upwards OP.