How to seduce male friend?

[LambToTheSlaughter]

I have a male friend who I want to seduce. We’re both single but I’m fairly inexperienced and need some tips please. I’m keen to have a long term relationship with him but also want to shag him senseless! Sorry if TMI!

How can I seduce him while maintaining his respect?

I think he thinks of me as his friend’s cute little sister rather than the strong woman that I am. I need to get rid of the nice, innocent image in his mind.

Please help! I need practical advice.

And men who date taller women will be ones that are self assured and confident, that is a lot more attractive to me than a few inches in height.

Tell him you want to have sex with him and that if he wants to aswell, great!

^^

I would never do that, or appreciate anyone being so forward. I'd find it a bit clinical. The build up with days or even weeks of flirting (and not being quite sure if the other person is interested) is definitely a better way for me.

OP, I would pay him a lot of attention next time you see him. Hold his eye for a bit longer than necessary, ask him open questions.... And then leave him alone for a while. Let him wonder where you've gone. Let him enjoy your company and then miss it again.

Text him to open a conversation. Is there anything you could ask him for advice about? Or an activity you might suggest? Like "you said the other day you like Spanish food. Have you tried xyz restaurant? Is it any good?"

Really anything that opens the conversation. But don't be needy. After the conversation ends, give it a couple of days before contacting him again. Hopefully by then, he will have contacted you.

Good luck!

Yes, do not just come out with “I’d like to have sex with you!” whatever you do. That’s not going to go anywhere good.

He might turn round and say ok and you’ve got a friends with benefits situation or he might be horrified and back away (especially if he sees you as a sister). Either way, you’ve lost a friend.

If you want an actual relationship with this guy you need to play the long game.

It’s also really easy for a friendship based relationship to end up a bit lazy on the guys behalf, I’ve found. So you skip the dating stage and go straight to cuddling on the sofa watching Netflix. You need a clear distinctive break between then and now. Otherwise you end up in a Is this my boyfriend or my friend who I’m having sex with set up. If you get the chance, insist that you date and get to know each other a bit better in a romantic way. Don’t go straight to the sex!

Seduce: a strange, old fashioned word that feels somehow distasteful, can’t really put into words why.

A relationship should always be an equal, two way thing or someone will be hurt. If your interest was reciprocated, I think you would just know.
Why don’t you just ask him out? Ok, possibly slightly embarrassing if he says no, I don’t see you that way. Lot less embarrassing than a failed “seduction” attempt though, would have thought. That could be excruciating.

seduce
verb
entice (someone) into sexual activity
"a lawyer had seduced a female client"
synonyms: persuade someone to have sexual intercourse, take away someone's innocence;

I find the word seduce creepy tbh.

Just ask him if he wasn’t to go for a sodding drink. Maybe the other guys you have tried to ‘seduce’ thought you were being a bit weird..

eighteen ways how to seduce a man

Here you go OP

@teateaandmoretea, I agree with you there. I sometimes despair at women who will reject a man one inch smaller when they're a fair height themselves. I don't think men care as much about the height of their partner. She can be taller, smaller, the same height............ they're open to all of those!

*Lamb" just flirt with him. Look into his eyes when he's talking to you, a flick of look down to his lips and back in to his eyes. Light touches of the arm, sitting a BIT closer than normal but with roomfor him to move away if he wants to. Laugh at his jokes, flick your hair, do the look over your shoulder as you walk away to see if he's watching, engineer it so you sit next to him or opposite and lean in to talk to him.

But if all of that will come across as you being really awkward and not you, could you talk to your older sibling?

Ask your older sibling if he or she thinks he's interested or woul drop a hint for you?

It doesn't actually really matter what you want OP, in so far as none of it will even go ahead unless he already also fancies you and would like the same outcome. Planning how to 'seduce' someone comes across really contrived. If you like him, ask him out, if you want a friend with benefits, ask him if he would be interested in that- planning and manipulating is really creepy, I'd be disgusted if a guy had planned how to best get me to sleep with him and was looking for tips and tricks from anyone and everyone about how to do so; I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable doing that to a friend and you run the risk of corrupting something that could be fun or nice.

Has he actually told you that he is wary of getting involved due to his ex's or have you extrapolated that because it suits the narrative you want and provides 'evidence' for you as to why he isn't very forthcoming or secretly fancies you but is hanging back.

There is no one fits all logic to men, not all men like the chase only, the same as not all women need a man to ask them out or to marry them or it 'doesn't count' and so on. People are not homogenous. In my personal experience if men fancy you they make it fairly obvious and are keen to meet but again, that means nothing about 'men' really, just my own dating life and the specific men involved.

I really would just see if he fancies a drink first, if he doesn't then theres your answer.

After taking all of the (mostly) good advice above, think about the fact that friends to lovers relationships can very often mean the end of the friendship if it doesn't work out. Are you prepared for that possibility?

Bravery will open a lot of doors and kindness will ensure they don't shut. I like that one

If he's had 3 failed relationships one after the other then maybe he wants to be alone. Just ask him instead of this seducing stuff which sounds a bit creepy.

It’s not easy to buck centuries of nature.

Males make themselves available. Females make choices.

@RunSweatLaughAndLatte

I seduce people every day. That's working in sales.

Go back to calling things problematic on twitter, Furious.

OP, watch On the Buses for some tips, especially if hes a significantly older, backwards thinking man who lives with his mother. Seriously though just be that obvious. Or get him to hear about it through a mutual friend.

@Patroclus
I don't have Twitter I also don't have a clue why you're being so rude.

Do you know why his last 3 girlfriends broke up with him?

I’m not 100% sure why they broke up with him. The first one he told me one reason to do with some personal problems that she was having but then he later let slip that it was for a different reason and that she didn’t trust him (unfairly). The second one was out of the blue from his perspective but they were a poor match so I think he got over it pretty quickly. The third one was quite shortlived. I have no idea why they broke up but my gut feeling is that they didn’t have much in common and it was more of a physical thing. I’m not sure who broke up with whom in the third case but, judging by his form, I suspect she broke up with him.

I’m not prepared to lose him as a friend which is part of the problem.

Several times l have said to someone I fancied “Would you like to make love with me?”. Yes it does work. And yes, it went where I wanted it to, without all the faffing about from my younger years.