Do you think he sees you as a sexual being at all?
A lot of the time the reason we are friends with someone as opposed to being in a relationship with them is because we like them, want to spend time with them but cannot imagine being sexual with them or ultimately don’t see them as a sexual being in their own right.
So it’s possible he’s thinking “she’s sweet, she’s cute but she’s like my sister” and so you end up friend zoned.
There is a way out lol. I’ve successfully made it out of the friend zone and also had a couple of guys make it out of there with me.
You do need to make him think it’s all his idea but there are little things you can do. Start prolonging eye contact for just a little bit longer than usual. Don’t go for a sweet look, go for slightly naughty like you’ve got a secret. He might say “what?” and you just smile and say “nothing”...all of a sudden he’s trying to figure out what’s going on in your head, you are a little bit of a mystery to him.
Shake up your look a little bit, wear something you wouldn’t usually to surprise him a bit. With my ex, when we were still friends, I wore a top one day that was a bit lower on the sides than usual and when I moved a certain way he caught sight of my (pretty sexy) bra. It was enough of a glimpse for him to want to see more and throughout the day he started being a lot more tactile and it wasn’t long after that that the sexual tension became pretty unbearable and we had to do something about it.
If you haven’t already, you need to break the touch barrier. If you already hug etc, as you are pulling away give his bicep a little squeeze or briefly touch his chest and look up at him. The key to this kind of thing is that you have to make it look absolutely natural and not make it a big deal at all. Don’t make him think “oh she’s coming on to me”, just let him feel briefly befuddled! Try and get sitting beside me and make sure that you are close enough that there’s a little physical contact. Make sure you smell good (freshly washed hair and/or a little perfume behind the ears is good) and find an opportunity to lean in close to tell him something or ask him a question but do it in a slightly hushed tone. It can be anything, “what time did they say dinner would be served?” “What do you think I should go with, soup or salad?” “Did you see GOT last night?”. What you say is irrelevant,
It’s how you say it...it’s really just an excuse to get a little closer. If you are brave enough, you could touch his thigh at some point, very briefly. So “Oh my god! I’ve been meaning to ask, did you get that job you went for?” Then remove the hand.
Also, even in a wider group context with your peers drop in one or two comments, when appropriate that help him to see you are a sexual being...so say he
has a beard, if the topic of conversation is appropriate, you could say “I can’t resist a guy with facial hair. They definitely do it for me.” This kind of thing worked for me, in a wider group context my friends were talking about Tinder and I said “but how can you tell
about height from Tinder? I’d be looking for someone really tall...they make me go weak at the knees.”
and then my guy (who was 6”4) immediately piped up “i’m tall”
.
A direct compliment could work too, so when you see him you walk up to him, smile warmly, greet him by squeezing his upper arm slightly, quick peck on the cheek and
say “Look at you looking all sexy in that suit” or “I love that shirt on you it looks so good with your eye colour.” And then move the fuck on to a different topic.
You want to create a few moments of him feeling slightly bothered but not make it awkward or uncomfortable. Just leave him temporarily dazed but create room for him to pursue you. If he wants to of course.
My experience of this is that he”ll either quite quickly want to move things forward or he’ll be visibly uncomfortable, at which point you need to back off and accept he doesn’t want to see you in that way.
All of the above seems very obvious and calculated but the delivery has to be on the subtle side for it to work.
It helps if you get used to flirting a bit more in general in your day to day life so the stakes aren’t as high when it comes to someone you really like.
The advice further up about doing a physical activity together is a great idea too!