What is a 'woman's job?'

[whatisawomansjob]

Hi everyone,

So I'd just like to know your definition of a woman's job? I don't mean work employment wise... I mean around the house, for the family, and would that person also work as well?

The reason I'm asking this is because apparently in my house, EVERYTHING is a woman's job! I just want to see mixed opinions from women and men... and how it impacts on your relationship please.

My DH this morning asked me to clear the fridges out as I'm working from home today
we will be having a conversation about this later this evening

My wife said something similar to me the other day. It seemed a reasonable request as, by working from home, I'd gained an extra two hours by not having to commute.

In this instance my definition of a womans job would be to disconnect from the misogynistic mind that felt it appropriate to make this statement and ensure it stayed that way.

please tell me if they're petty?

I read somewhere a good description of this kind of behaviour. Basically every time he drops a sock in the middle of the floor instead of laundry basket, every time he dumps his tools in the middle of the table etc etc, what he's saying is: "Fuck you, whatisawomansjob, you can do it!"

Not petty. He's being massively disrespectful and thinks he's too good to tidy up after himself - but you're not good enough, you can do it.

There is no job that a woman is more biologically able for than a man. With the exception of physically carrying and birthing a child, there is no such thing as 'woman's work.'

I do the mowing, the gardening and the bins too. He's never taken the rubbish out to the bins and only once put the bins on the street to be emptied on collection day.

Thought that would be the case. It's not about it being "women's work", it's about him being a lazy shite who thinks you're staff.

I think that I could reasonably expect the following of my girlfriend, that I couldn't do myself:

• Pregnancy
• Breastfeeding
• Calling me an ambulance in the aftermath of me ever telling her that anything else was a "woman's job"

I can't believe he's got the balls to criticise. You must've known he was a sexist pig before you had kids?? Stop doing anything for him.

G5000 is right. Every time he leaves something for you to do he's saying he's better and more important than you. Dickhead.

I'm getting fed up of being relied on for everything and moaned at for if something is dirty.

That is a very different thing. There is the fact that he is a lazy, sexist, slob who thinks everything is your job. That's one thing. Then there's the fact that he thinks he is your boss, and entitled to tell you how to do your job. That is another.

I worked with a woman who on the first day back to work after her wedding, made her DH a packed lunch. He complained. She never made him lunch again. They were married decades.

And leaving shit everywhere is another thing. He's actively trying to make your 'job' harder. I agree with the fact that every time he leaves clothes somewhere he is thinking "fuck you OP, you do it".

Next time he says you should split over it, tell him yes, if he's incapable of treating you with a modicum of respect and love, you should split. He'd have to clean his own shit in his own place.

I don't know anyone who would say X is a woman's job but I do know (and have seen on MN more than once) women who think certain tasks are a man's job. Putting out the bins being the obvious one.

However - OP, you are learning the hard way that putting up with shit before children leads to a holy mess after children. Beyond teaching your children not to do as you have done I don't know what the solution is here. He won't change.

Mrspratchett do you know me?? I had a similar sandwich situation with my DH. I stopped making him lunch for years. I recently started again and now he knows the only acceptable comment is 'thank you for the delicious sandwich darling'.

I remember my Dad once went to pub straight after work without telling my mom. She had made us dinner and was waiting for him. Eventually we went to bed and he staggered in late and whinged about the spaghetti. She threw the plate of food at the wall. Ever since then he came home on time and cleaned the kitchen after dinner.

There are only two things that are definitely a man's job in this house. One is changing lightbulbs (because he is taller than me and can reach without standing on a chair) and the other is cleaning up cat sick (because I am an emetophobic wimp when it boils down to it). Actually three jobs - the third is cleaning out the drain outside the kitchen window that gets blocked with dead leaves and other gunge (and this time it is because he has longer arms ).

All other jobs are democratically interchangeable.

I recently started again and now he knows the only acceptable comment is 'thank you for the delicious sandwich darling'.

With all the misogynistic men out there who insist that anything around the home is a "woman's job" I would be intrigued to know how men who live alone could possibly manage not to starve to death or live in anything other than a pigsty

No one would dare say "a womans job" around me, they know better

In my house everything is. Thats because I can do anything that needs doing and prefer to live as a single adult than listen to any such bullshit.

NewLevelsOfTiredness I had a chuckle at that. DH would say much the same thing. . . what wise people you are! With such great skills of self preservation. . .

Undoing knots

Mammographer. Although probably not much call for them in your house.

Think you need to re-appraise your situation op.
My “made in the 1940s” DH does as much of the household “jobs” as I do.

It sounds like he’s deliberately winding you up OP. Why might that be?

Chocolate, netflix and a large glass of white.

There’s no such thing as a womans household job, unless only women live in the house, just as there isn’t such thing as a mans household job unles only men live in the house.

“Why the f**k haven’t you ironed my shirt you’ve been at home two hours”.

An hour later he was outside with all his shit in big bags.

Having babies, breastfeeding and going into the loft (no ladder so you have to stand on a chair and lift yourself up with your arms. I'm the only one with the strengths).

@CassettesAreCool I don't know why he would deliberately wind me up. I genuinely think he is just too lazy or blind to notice certain things or just plain damn ignorant. It seems he loves to argue, otherwise he wouldn't keep doing it. Then calls me childish and immature for not doing these things for him.

When I make him lunch for work it's boring or haven't you packed me this or that... it takes a second to go in the fridge for fruit or snacks etc yet I'm expected to do that too. He thinks he is better than me and these tasks clearly. Anyhow, I've spoken to him about it today and he decided he would help out more, cook etc etc and I told him to actually take note of things that are going on around him, mess, vacuuming, etc. A bit later on he ended up arguing with me over something else so I told him to leave....

Guess what? He asked me to pack the bags for him! I made him do it, left him to it and cooked my tea while he left 👍🏼 and apparently there's no going back from this. He's acting like I've done something wrong 😂