What is a 'woman's job?'

[whatisawomansjob]

Hi everyone,

So I'd just like to know your definition of a woman's job? I don't mean work employment wise... I mean around the house, for the family, and would that person also work as well?

The reason I'm asking this is because apparently in my house, EVERYTHING is a woman's job! I just want to see mixed opinions from women and men... and how it impacts on your relationship please.

There are some jobs in my house that have naturally fallen to either him or myself so I
might joke that I’m not doing that as it’s a “ blue” job but that’s more about me not wanting to for example take the bins out rather than thinking it’s actually “ mans work”. We can both cook and use a washing machine and generally muck in together.

Women's jobs - breastfeeding. Testing dildos. Testing vaginal lubricant.

Can't really think of anything else that is specifically woman-oriented.

Sorry you've found yourself in a relationship with a sexist dick.

Women’s work is owning a womb and the things that come with it. Birthing, breastfeeding. Many women make work for themselves by wasting time on foolish misogynists.

What do MtoF trans people consider to be 'women's work'?

It's a woman's job if it requires female biology to do. That pretty much does mean things related to the growing, birthing and breastfeeding of infants.

Unless he thinks you use your vagina to hold the hoover? Does he wash the car with his chest hair as a cloth, or change tyres with his penis?

Well in our house, I do all the house work as I am here a damn sight more than DF. So I feel that nothing is womens work or mans work, if stuff needs doing both better be capable if it has to be done. This is the 21st century and any man who says I can't do better learn to do x and likewise no woman should accept BS of I can't do it and the same the other way round. I don't like DF doing stuff when she gets home from work, she works damned hard and given everything can get done in a few hours I want her to be able to relax and unwind.

@whatisawomansjob - I work from home, and naturally I clean, cook etc etc

Dh works from home and he doesn't "naturally" clean, cook etc. Nor would I expect him to as he's working. The location of your job is irrelevant, other than having no commute, which might allow you to "be home" from work earlier than if you had a commute.

The only job I did that dh never did, was breastfeeding. Other than that, we've always shared it pretty equally, although he is in charge of changing light bulbs as he's a foot taller than me

I'm not going to lie we do have stereotypical male and female "jobs" in the house. Mainly because he does the jobs I don't like taking out the bins, mowing the lawn and sorting out the kitchen after I've finished cooking whereas I actually enjoy cooking and laundry etc.

I'd say we do things 50/50 but think it works better for us have specific jobs so things don't get missed. Like I'm sure if it wasn't one person's job to take the bins out each week then we'd forget!

Anything that requires breasts or a vagina.

Anything where a penis would get in the way.

OP, I don’t think it really matters how other people divide their chores. What does matter is that you are unhappy with the totally unfair division in your own house.
You need to sit down with your sexist misogynist pig of a partner and draw up a rota of who will do what in future, and ensure he sticks to it.
This will mean you being tough. If he doesn’t do one of his chores you do NOT do it for him. Let him suffer the consequences. A few mornings of no clean shirt for work, a few nights of no dinner, will work wonders in a) making him appreciate more all the stuff you did before and b) teaching him to grow up and learn to manage a house. Good luck!

It's not a joke. It's deadly serious and shows you his attitude towards you.

This.

@category12 I do the mowing, the gardening and the bins too. He's never taken the rubbish out to the bins and only once put the bins on the street to be emptied on collection day.

He does all regular diy jobs such as putting up shelves, garage maintenance, he's currently changing the whole garden layout etc. Which I offered to help do! But I do the decorating.

When did he start being like this?

We both do jobs round the house. I'm a SAHM while husband works so I do the bulk of the housework and childcare but he will do what he can when he's at home. Some jobs he'll leave for me, others I'll leave for him. We may be stereotypical but it works for us.

He does all regular diy jobs such as putting up shelves

How often does one need to put up shelves?

How often does one need to clean, tidy,cook, wash up, do laundry, take bins out etc etc etc.

@Putthatlampshadeonyourhead he's pretty much been like this the whole time we've been together. It's never really bothered me until he began criticising if I hadn't done something (if I didn't have time or that wasn't a priority) and he would also argue and say that's your job I don't have to do it.

Before I just did it because I like cleaning and having a clean home, but he now makes extra mess and no matter what I do it isn't clean because as soon as he's home things are a mess/ out of place. It's like he's taking advantage of the fact I've always cleaned to then make more mess. Then when I confront him about it he either tries saying we need to split or sell the house etc, but then always goes back on what he's saying and will say he'll change. And doesn't.

I should add this has only started recently, the arguing about it. He's said he will change once which was just over a week ago.

Well there are jobs (providing financially, cleaning, caring for children etc) and the man and woman split equally. E.g, they both work full time and share the domestic chores evenly or one stays home and does all thedonestic chores etc. Sex is irrelevant.

Ok, dh is in late 60s and I'm in my late 40s and we have been together for 30 ish years and have never gendered the housework or child rearing.

For clarity if one person is making an unusual amount of nessnot incidental to daily life or expects something beyond a normal set up (e.g a vegetable patch) then that’s their problem to deal with.

I am a woman. I am an engineer. I work full time while my husband works part time and takes responsibility for childcare and cooking and most of the housework. The concept of "a woman's job" means nothing to me personally.

I don't expect too much... I just don't want kids to be allowed to put chocolate all over my living room because dad can't be bothered telling them no, I don't want food pouring all over the floor because no one is watching the children, I don't want shoes chucked off all over the house when there is a shoe rack near the front door, I don't want tools left all over the kitchen, I don't want clothes chucking all over the floor or bed, bins left overflowing because it's not their job... these are just a few of the issues... please tell me if they're petty?

I think the issue is that you work from home (as do I) and so your DH assumes that means you waft about all day watching netflix and drinking coffee, so you should really be cleaning out the fridge, cleaning the loos and being 'useful'. My DH this morning asked me to clear the fridges out as I'm working from home today, (and I imagine he thinks I do the above) (well, to be fair, I am on mumsnet right now...) and unfortunately he left the room before I could answer, but we will be having a conversation about this later this evening...

It seems he views you as a domestic appliance OP.

I was raised by a single father from the age of 4, so anyone telling me that any given domestic chore was 'women's work' would get fuck all shrift from me!