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Original poster

Am I right to be annoyed about this?

51 replies

babayjane67 · 02/05/2019 09:05

Hi all
This might be an aibu but as I've posted here before about dp I thought best do it again here.
Dp told me last night that he's taken today off work as holiday to go to our local Magistrates court to see a bloke who lives about 10mins walk away from us get done for being a peadophile.
Dp follows a particular group on social media that catches these people so watched them get this bloke&heard his case is today.we don't know the bloke or anything.we do have a 10yr old dd.
He doesn't know what time this blokes case is he's just going to the court&waiting all day if necessary to see this bloke go down or whatever is going to happen!
If I asked him to take a day off say for my birthday or to take a bank hol Mon off(he works most of them&doesn't get paid any extra for it) he wouldn't!he would flatly refuse!! But it's fine for him to take a days holiday to do this! When I told him this he said I've taken time off to take you to hospital!! I've had hospital appointments for an ongoing condition&I don't drive. He hasn't had to take lots of time off or anything.more often than not they're after he's finished work.Apparently he asked work last week if he could take it off but didn't actually mention it to me til last night saying work said yes yesterday afternoon!
I did say to him well praps I could come then&he said no u can't come you've got to work!I work pt as a lunch break supervisor at our dds school.i said it to spend time with him as much as anything which makes me sound stupid I know!
I just don't get why he wants to go so much!especially waiting there all day if needs be.
I said well what's your plan then as DD needs picking up from school which he usually does as she has something on on a Thurs at 5.15 so he gets her while I stay home&get an early tea on.he said what do u mean what's my plan?? So I explained about DD needing picking up etc& that we won't know if he will bebk in time&he just said well take it that I won't be then&you'll have to do it!
Am I right to be as pissed off as I feel or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:

MashedSpud · 02/05/2019 09:13

Sounds dodgy to me.

He doesn’t want you to go with him, he won’t take time off for you but will to see a random man in court.

I would go anyway to see if he’s actually there.

Original poster

babayjane67 · 02/05/2019 09:17

I don't think he's messing me around with anyone else or anything.no showering more often or using after shave or anything.
He tentatively gave me a kiss goodbye when he left as he knew I was pissed off with him!

OP posts:

Singlenotsingle · 02/05/2019 09:20

Hmmmm ... I'd keep an eye on this tbh. Why does he want to know what sanction a paedophile gets?

Original poster

babayjane67 · 02/05/2019 09:24

I've no idea Single I wish I did!
I know he hates all that like any normal person would&maybe because this bloke is so local to us he feels he needs to know what happens next I spose I don't know.

OP posts:

Singlenotsingle · 02/05/2019 09:27

Not a scoutmaster, is he?

category12 · 02/05/2019 09:29

To be honest, I'd be seriously weirded out that he has this much interest in it.

HollowTalk · 02/05/2019 09:31

But the guy in court would end up going to Crown Court, wouldn't he, so not much to see?

I'm not sure I'd want to be with a guy who takes days off work for that sort of thing, tbh.

HeidioftheAlps · 02/05/2019 09:34

It would put me off someone if their hobby was "having an unhealthy interest in paedophiles"

Whatisthisfuckery · 02/05/2019 09:35

This is dodgy af. If he wants to know what happens he could look on facebook, or in the local paper. Taking an entire day off work to stand outside a court seems a bit of an odd thing to do, unless he’s got more than a passing interest in this case. There’s only two possible reasons I can think of what that might be, he’s part of a vigilante group, or, well, you can guess the other. Either that or he’s out right bullshitting, and if he is he’s an inventive liar, I’ll give him that.

This smells nasty to me, and if my worst suspicions are true then it’s very nasty indeed. I don’t know what to suggest, sorry. Just watch your DD like a hawk around him.

ExhaustedGrinch · 02/05/2019 09:36

Are you sure it's not your DP in court and he's using the whole 'going to watch a peado sentenced' as an excuse as to why he's there all day if he gets spotted by someone you both know?

ExhaustedGrinch · 02/05/2019 09:37

(Just to add I'm not suggesting HE is in court for being a paedophile, could be something else entirely but I'd guess that he's in court and that's why he doesn't want you there)

Original poster

babayjane67 · 02/05/2019 09:37

Who Single my dp or the bloke?
I do find it very weird Category which is why I've posted.i wouldn't bother going to the court even if I had been watching&following about it.i definitely would want to be there waiting possibly all day for it! I can't understand why he wants to!

OP posts:

Morgan12 · 02/05/2019 09:39

This is seriously strange behaviour.

I'd be digging much deeper. And I'd be going to court just now.

Nottheduchess · 02/05/2019 09:40

Not sure why you’d need him to take a day off for your birthday but yeah, this is kind of strange. Has your OH ever Hd dealings with this man? Why is it so important for him to see this, question you have to ask him.

VaggieMight · 02/05/2019 09:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

Original poster

babayjane67 · 02/05/2019 09:43

As I said he watches this vigilante group on FB I think it is who set these blokes up&catch them then go to their houses&make them confess to it while filming it all.he watches it quite alot bit has never wanted to go to court to see what happens to them before.i guess because this blokes so local to us is why he wants to this time but I do find it very odd that he wants to&also to take a bloody day off to go&sit around all day to see it!when he wouldn't do it forme.i don't think taking me to hospital appointments is in the same league as that!!

OP posts:

category12 · 02/05/2019 09:43

Either he has unhealthy prurient(?) interest in it which would be very worrying indeed, or the vigilante thing (which does not exclude unhealthy prurient interest). It's one helluva hobby.

Hisnamesblaine · 02/05/2019 09:47

Beyond weird.

Original poster

babayjane67 · 02/05/2019 09:49

Notthe it was only ever for my 50th birthday i asked about him having day off.
Last year I had an appointment on my birthday late morning.so I think he asked for an earlier finish route that day(he's a lorry driver) so he could take me.
I said it's be good to go for lunch somewhere after just the 2 of us&he said well don't you think DD would like to come too?? We can have tea out when she's finished school!
Vaggie I have liked their FB page but nothing ever comes up on mine so never know what's going on unless he says! I've not heard of anyone else going.not a clue! I did ask him if he was going with anyone but he did no.

OP posts:

Butterymuffin · 02/05/2019 09:51

It's not the same. It's very weird behaviour and I would not be happy with someone taking days off for that but not for family reasons. I am also suspicious about him trying to put you off going with him. Can you go down there before you start work, or after?

Original poster

babayjane67 · 02/05/2019 09:54

I can't get down there Buttery as I don't drive&it's about an HR to get into town where the court is then u have to walk about half HR to get there from the station.dd finishes school at 3.30

OP posts:

cherryblossomgin · 02/05/2019 09:55

It sounds like her is getting a bit obsessed with the this. Maybe he feels that he is part of something important and wants to some recognition from the group. I wouldn't be happy with this either because it's dangerous and he could get hurt. Also how far is he going to go for this vigilante group. Is he going to start running around filming suspected pedophiles? Personally I can't be seen to be involved in anything like that he would be making a choice between the two. If he can't take a day off for a birthday but can for this I would be having a chat about his priorities.

Original poster

babayjane67 · 02/05/2019 09:56

I don't think for one minute he's a pedophile! He&DD are very close always have been.shes his only child.
I just don't understand why he wants to do this to the extent of getting a day off work to do it!

OP posts:

RaininSummer · 02/05/2019 09:56

I don't know about this. It is certainly an unusual thing to take a day off for but I am thinking of some of the people I have got to know in the past couple of years (myself included) who would take a day off work to go to a court to support somebody. So, either he feels an big affinity with these vigilantes and is going along for the ride or as alluded to above, something a bit more sinister. Apart from the rather strange day out, surely an adult is allowed to spend some of their annual leave how they wish so long as there is enough left for family purposes.

cherryblossomgin · 02/05/2019 09:57

He is probably communicating through a group chat on FB or WhatsApp that's why. That's why nothing comes up your page.

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