Its just getting so unbearable

[quadrophenia]

well thats it really, my dp of 8 years is making me so unhappy i don't think i can take much more. Really worried that I'm close to breaking point, his behaviour and attitude towards me is so negative and despite reassurances from friends it is really dragging me down. I have four wonderful kids, a tidy and clean home, i work part time, yet its never enough. I spend my whole life trying to justify myself to a man who believes he has it harder than anyone else as he works twelve hour nights. He won't talk to me about our relationship, declares he pretty muuch hates me and that he feels stuck with me, tells me I'm not a proper woman even though I know i am, because apparently I do nothing for him. I feel so tired, so dragged down, and quite honestly depressed.
Stupid thing is as a family unit we are great, always off doing things, picnics, walks, camping, festivals, football etc, i can't bear the thought of losing all that really i can't, it can be so wonderful, but am really beginning to think its at my sanity's expense

Just needed to vent really, not sure what anyone can say.

Thankyou Quint

How did it go quad?

Charliecat thanks for asking. the chat went well, we actually talked civilly which is a good thing. he is going to see a gp on Monday re depression, he isn't sure if he is depressed but is prepared to take responisbility for how things have been which is good. I am not holding my breath If i'm honest, i know how quickly things can revert to normal, however i am prepared to wait and see and honestly feel like a weight has been liftwed just by being honest with my feelings in a non confrontational manner. I will keep you updated and genuinely from the bottom of my heart apprecaite the support i recieved here in wht felt like a very dark time for me xx

Quad, I've just seen this thread.
Sending you a big hug.
(That was only my second ever hug on MN, I'll have you know!)
(I am HumphreyCushion, btw)

Thanks Hc that means alot nice words from cool people are very special x

I hope things get better once your DP sees his GP.
Are you managing to get much sleep?

God i really hope things improve, it kind of hadn't occured to me until yesterday that he might be depressed. I must admit i spedn alot of time focusing and advising friends on their problesm that i got out of touch with ours and yes he really does have the symptoms of depression. I'm not looking for an immediate recovery but taking responsibility for his issues would be a big step.
I sleep okay, often wine induced though which I know is bad, but recently i've had that not want to get up feeling which i know is symptomatic of my own depression triggered by our situation.

Don't forget to take care of your self, as well as everyone else.
And keep posting, cos we're all here to support you.

Quad, just want to offer some support. THeres been some really good advice on here.

It could be depression (very likely with the sleep deprivation).
But on the other hand, depression is not an excuse to treat another person badly. I think the ultimatum idea is good, but you must mean it (a bit like with a small child). Is it possible to leave him in the near future? Could you start taking steps to separate from him? When it comes down to it, do you feel liberated at the idea of not having to put up with him anymore? Or just sad at the thought. Anyway, you must get him to councelling if you want to stay with him.

Pleased to hear that your chat went well. Hope things continue to improve

Quad, glad your talk went well, that's a positive start isn't it.

All the best.