Advise needed and I probably know what your all going to say!
My partner and I have been together for 4 years, but we knew each other a long time before that. We don’t live together, I live with my teenage daughter, who is a bit of a handful and therefore have put off moving in together for a few years!!! We have a very loving relationship, best friends, no issues up until recently!
Late last year, I was a little bit suspicious of his behaviour, late night chats with someone on WhatsApp, doesn’t have a lot of friends. I know it’s really naughty but I looked through is iPad and found he’d been looking at local prostitutes on Adultwork and looking at reviews on a vile site UKPunting, which basically is men grading and commenting on visits to prostitutes! I then found 2 text messages to 2 different prostitutes over 4 days asking to book 15 min sessions. Both prostitues replied and asked him to message next day to confirm a time, which he did, but there was no reply from them??? I confronted him about it and he grovelled and said he had no intention of going, he just got a bit of a kick contacting them? He promised he wouldn’t do it again!! He also said he used the Adultwork site for porn and nothing more???
Beginning of this year, due to the trust in our relationship being damaged, I made up an account on the UKPunting site and took a guess at his username and found several feedback comments, there was about 4 from before we got together and he had told me he had visited prostitutes after a break up from a long term partner, when going through a hard time? Then I found feedback from late last year, when we were together, regarding a visit to a local brothel and what poor service he received and wasn’t very complimentary about the girl!!! I messaged him and finished with him. He blamed it all on me, said I shouldn’t have snooped, I had no right, it was no big deal, it was like popping in for a cup of coffee!!!! He admitted to doing it twice, just a BJ, no sex apparently as this is intimate and he wouldn’t do that to me??!! A few days later he messaged me saying life was shit without me and he’d learnt his lesson, he’d never do it again! He also told me the anti-depressants he’s on are playing havoc with his body and things aren’t working properly, I hadn’t really noticed that much, but he says it has and I don’t understand! This made me think I was to blame and not doing anything for him and that’s why he went elsewhere. He just said he wanted to find out 🤷♀️ apparently first time ok, second it wasn’t! I have recently checked his history and he’s still looking at local prostitutes and the review site!
When I put it all down like this, the odds are stacked against us, but he is my best friend, I do love, but I don’t particularly like him at the moment moment, it’s pretty crap! I have been to the doctors and arranged some counselling, but there’s nobody else I can speak to about this!
Sorry for long post!